Bob331

This July, my wife and I will be starting and ending a bicycle vacation in Amsterdam.

We are celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary and would like to renew our wedding vows (as we have done every 5 years).

Any suggestions as to how I could find a synagogue - or a civil servant - in Amsterdam - who could perform this ?

Bob

hetismij2

Here is a list of Syngogues in Amsterdam.

http://www.mavensearch.com/synagogues/C3417Y41643RX

I suggest you have a look and see which suits your forum of Judaism, and contact them.
I doubt an ambtenaar van het Burgelijke Stand (Civil registrar) would be able to do it.

Tulips

I've never heard of anyone 'renewing their vows' in the Netherlands; it's an American thing, I think. A civil servant would not know what you are talking about.

Christina

This doesn't even make sense in the US for a civil servant. It doesn't mean anything legally, so civil servants couldn't do it, it wouldn't be within their job description and would be meaningless. The people who do this just hire some MC, basically, who reads some text to them and they say something. YOu can hire people to find someone to do that for you in various countries, there are lots of companies on the internet that do this, but usually the goal is to have a party and some fancy place, not just to go into some room and say something. So the price is such as for a catered, expensive affair, and an event planner does it.

Now some religions may go along with this idea to get some money and please their constituents, but that would be specific to a congregation you belonged to. Much to my great surprise, when perusing some old family genealogy and photos, memorabilia, I found out my great grandparents had done this in some small town in Ohio in a Catholic Church! I was amazed as I thought this was some modern custom. And I didn't know a Catholic Church would go along with this, but it was an actual ceremony in this church in the early part of the 20th century. And they were from a German immigrant family, so they didn't get the idea from modern things or probably even the US, but I have no idea. Maybe their church pushed it.

So I think you need to find one of those wedding/event planners who arrange ceremonies that are not legal weddings for foreigners, although I know they cost a lot. Otherwise, ask your rabbi if he would have any connections there to contact to set this up if this is a custom in your own synagogue.

I'll admit I don't get this at all, but I really don't get it if you don't even know anyone and there won't be anyone to watch you or have a party with, and you would want a stranger who is a town clerk to do it. And vows don't expire, so there isn't any need to renew them. If you would find it okay to do it with no one you know and just a clerk, why not write your own statements and pick a pretty place in Amsterdam and just do-it-yourself?

YOu know, unfortunately, there are countries that it is more likely to be able to find someone to do this, but the Netherlands just isn't one of them. Italy or France would be, or Greece, Spain, Portugal, or maybe even Croatia or Prague, or Scotland. I think Amsterdam is maybe one of the worst to expect this.

quokka

Christina: German churches know a ceremony with a blessing on wedding anniversaries, and that's probably what your great-grandparents did. But not a renewal of vows. The vows are done only once, at the actual wedding, and are meant to be valid forever.

menachem

Knowing what I know about the jewish community in Amsterdam: not a chance. Even the Reform community is much more conservative than what you would find in the US. I don't know what your jewish affiliation is, but you might drop a line to Beit ha Chidush, the reconstructionist community. The best you could do in the other congregations is to ask for an aliyah and a misheberach and that's it. And even then, local congregation members would get precedence if you turned up so you'd have to start writing to arrange something. Renewing vows is not something we do in the Netherlands.

http://www.beithachidush.nl

another option is the OJG Klal Yisrael in Delft (beautiful synagogue)

http://www.klal-israel.nl/index.php/en/

they're all reconstructionist, so they might be able to accomodate you, but if you're orthodox of course it isn't an option for you.

due to a variety of psychological reasons, the Dutch jewish community is closed in upon itself so it's not easy to turn up and get access.

menachem

not even for jews from abroad. sadly

menachem

That maven list is outdated in places. It still has LJG at Jacob Soetendorpstraat and not at its new location, and some of the smaller chewres it lists don't exist anymore.

hetismij2

Thanks for that info Menachem. I had it bookmarked for a friend who was to spend a year in Amsterdam, but didn't come in the end.

Sorry we can't be of more help Bob331, but it is not something which happens here afaik. People have a civil wedding ceremony and a church or synagogue blessing, but I've never heard of anyone renewing their vows.
I hope it doesn't spoil you trip or your anniversary. The vows you took 30 years ago as as good today as they were then after all.

Bob331

Thank you all vary much for your advice.

I will see what I can come up with.

Bob

P.S. By the way, we did this 5 years ago in Florence, Italy. It was arranged by a friend through his synagogue in that city. So it may come down to having a local contact.

go_laura

Bob, I'd just like to say that I think it's lovely that you and your wife have this tradition. And given that you're at 30 years, it's obviously worked well for you.

DH and I are both in second marriages, and while we're not sure yet if we'll do it, have discussed the possibility of doing some form of vow renewal for our tenth anniversary next year. Mazel Tov and I wish you many healthy years of happy travels ahead!

nukesafe

We did so at the American Church in Paris for our 20th. It had meaning for us, Christina, you naysayer.

hetismij2

Maybe you can find a contact through your own synagogue Bob.
I do hope it works out for you.