Mens Swimming Attire In France

Who's insisting? That makes no sense to me. As far as I know, the Swimwear Police don't exist. Wear what's comfortable, geez.

At least in Germany there's no objection to swimming shorts. They're pretty common especially with the younger guys.
Even though I prefer to see them in the tight shorts

Buzzy, I'd guess your kids already know that men have something in their pants that women don't have - and besides this very basic fact of life your children won't be bothered with much more detail...
Except if you go to one of the beaches where you're allowed to bathe en nature, naked.

Some (not all) municipal French swimming pools require men to wear trunks rather than shorts, and some also require swimmers to wear a swimming cap. It's some rule to do with hygiene ("hair containment", perhaps?)
However, this "rule" does not apply on the beaches, and while some French guys wear trunks, many others shudder at the thought, and wouldn't be seen dead in anything but shorts.

We have been visiting France since 1999 and most of the time have used lakes or beaches. Last year we went to a local pool and hoped my husband would get away with wearing his swimming shorts. When the pool attendant realised that my husband was not wering trunks he was asked to leave the pool. This was in the small village of Mereville in the Ile De France region near Etampes. I was amazed they were so insistent on the rule.

Re: Swimming caps the rules regarding those seem more understandable although what happens to men with hairy bodies. Should they encase themselves in cling film before a swim in case they drop a hair in the pool? Re: hygiene and trunks I don't see that a penis is more hygenic squeezed into a pair of trunks than in a pair of shorts do you?

Signed The Prude

Hi all,

On an earlier post, someone mentioned that shorts were not permitted because people wear them as regular clothes and they are not hygienic.

Me and the wife were rudely asked to leave a city pool this past June by a haughty Frenchman who spoke terrible English and who's foul breath reminded me of goat cheese and sardines soufflé gone bad.

It was an ugly and totally uncalled for international incident. We had spent a great deal of time assembling our picnic supplies and elbowing our way into a shady spot. A few minutes before we had neatly spread out a sheet from the hotel (what's a few more stains?) and strategically arrayed our usual lounging essentials: 10 foot retractable flagpole with oversized American flag, battery-operated fan with red, white and blue blades, giant-sized Mickey and Minnie Mouse fly swatters, trunk-sized boom box with our favorite tape "Toe Tapping Tunes to Shell Peas and Husk Corn By," toenail clippers, mud mask warmer, foot itch spray, Dolly Parton back scratchier, and economy-sized toilet paper roll.

I was wearing my best cut-off blue jeans and the wife had on a very fancy Wal-Mart swimsuit (pink with yellow and white daisies) designed to enhance her generous rear-end and flabby pale white "cottage cheese" legs.

We quickly lathered up with some old family recipe suntan oil (Iodine and Crisco), took a few bites from our MacDonald's hamburgers, cranked up the boom box and started doing a few belly-flops to get in the mood for some serious laughs.

Then the trouble started just as it often does. A gaggle of rail-thin French women started with the excited whispering and finger pointing. You know how those sex-starved foreign babes can get when they first see a husky man with a good farmer's tan and a few knife-fight scars on a hairy back.

Then all the sissy men in those obscene shorts started to gawk at the wife like they never seen a full-figured woman bounce on the end of a diving board and let out a few rebel yells.

They pranced around a bit trying to impress me with their little tiny "packages', but I gave them more than they bargained and showed them what a real man has in his ragged jeans!

Next thing you know a snotty little pool manager shows up with a real bad "attitude" problem and asks us to leave. We eventually did, but not before relieving ourselves in the pool.

We still chuckle at how we taught those arrogant, garlic-eating poodle-walkers not to mess with Americans.

Degas, you're a rude so and so but gawlee gee you're funny. I'm rollin', LOL.

Buzzy, I didn't invent the rule! I'm just explaining the way things work in France. Lots of rules seem illogical wen you're not used to them.

You can wear shorts to go swimming in lakes and in the sea, and in pools at hotels or private villas, gites or whatever. That's my experience, anyway. (was at a hotel in Britanny last month, 2 of my French friends swam in the pool in their swimming shorts, neither was arrested).

wen??? I mean when, of course

It seems to me they must have banned all shorts in case "God Forbid" any nasty smelly people contaminate their pool with "street shorts". Most sportswear shops now have only one or two pairs of "tight" posseurs trunks available and the rest of the shelves are full of swimming shorts to cater for the "majority" who wear them. Isn't it about time they realised that not all people wearing "swimming shorts" are lazy, smelly, dirty types who are jumping straight into the pool in their everyday gear.

Perhaps the answer is for the pool attendant to look down each mans shorts before swimming just to make sure that nothing nasty will enter the pool.

Prudy

Degas - I bet you have quite a set of muscles from milking all those cows and lifting those heavy bales of hay.

Does your wife use "The Firm" or do you two live too far out in the sticks to get cable TV?

Degas
Funny. Reminds me of the old days when this board had lots of humor. Seldom see any now due to the fear that banishment awaits anyone that dares try to be funny. Hopefully you have not been drug out of your office by the forum police and taken in for "education".....

RE: Curt and ChatNoir

1. I drove all the way to Atlanta to get my honey bunch a mess of "The Firm" tapes. They darm sure work - she's down to 290 in less than a month.

2. Office work is not my style - give me sunshine and fresh air and lord, please keep me away from those concrete boxes they call office buildings.

Degas - maybe they never saw your cut off swim trunks because your big fat beer gut was hanging over them.

Question: How come men get to wear shorts and be fashionable and women have to wear the tiniest suits before being considered "sexy"?

Degas, any minute now the thought police are going to lock you up, but in the meantime keep the posts coming!

RE: donnabee

My "beer gut"? How very insensitive of you. City folks can be so mean and cruel sometimes.

We are simple country folks, whose problem stems from a slow metabolism, being big-boned and also being genetically unable to resist fried foods, butter and sugar.

I rarely drink more than a six pack of beer a day, and less than two cases on the weekend. That is hardly enough to make my blue jeans tight.

Good comeback....that's why they now make the "stretch" jeans.

Degas,
good one! I especially liked the imagery of the knife fight scars on the hairy back.

I've never heard that you cannot wear swimming shorts in municipal pools, but I can assure you that anywhere else nearly all men wear shorts for swimming, preferably the ones from Villbrequin.

Degas,

Very funny but I too live in the South and I have seen large men in their golf shorts enter the pool to cool off (and clean off). Your stories are very colorful but unfortunately there is a little bit of truth in them! You can take the "Red Neck" out of the country but you can't keep them out of Europe. I will laugh at your story the rest of the day.

RE: aj

Sir, You labor under a misperception that my stories are "tall tales" or even, god forbid, fake. Papa would turn over in his cold grave if that were true. I can assure you that all of them are based on actual bizare experiences that me and the wife or our crazy cousins from Sweetwater Springs have had across the pond.

Degas, Degas, Degas - what a name for such a boor! Your little bit of humor for us? BTW, they miss you on Rural USA. I'd tack on one of those blinky little faces, but I couldn't locate one with a red neck.

RE: Sufer Dud

I read your many posts (2) and was quite impressed by your firm grasp of the obvious.

Those "english for dummies" lessons at the salvation army mission are really paying off. Does your mom know you are fooling around with the computer when her back is turned?

Bravo, Degas !

Degas, Degas, why oh why are you resurrecting that "I'm a good ole rural boy married to my fat sister" style of posting tried by many, without success. Must be you posted here under another name and for some misguided reason yearned to return as plow boy. I'm still looking for that red neck blinkey face, but so far I've found only the dumb facades, lowbrowed, and no red.

Now, now, Scarlett, the rural types aren't really your speed, right? How could you, lol, .

degas, you are ABS-olutely all that!

RE: Sufer dud

Don't be bad mouthing my Rural America channel. Its were I get the 4 AM farm report every morning. Hog futures were up two days in a row!

And leave dearest Scarlett alone - any woman with that fair name must be a perfectly grand vision of beauty, charm and grace.

Darlin Dude,

LOL, I meant DEGAS!!! all this Dude and Dud talk has quite confused my lil ole head~

Scarlett

De-gas, De-gas, you are a gentleman, I shall take no more of your time from the chores. The pigs await.

Lawsy, MIss Scarlett, but you are confused! De-gas has never had it so good, you're making his day. Heart of gold!! For sure.

This whole discussion is an endorsement for why people go to nude beaches.

RE: Cigalechanta (reminds me of a high stepping dancer I dated when I was in the army stationed in the Panama Canel Zone)

You thought that 'flabby" little remark would fly right over my greased back hair, didn't you?

Well, me and the wife were watching our usual six hour segment of the Home Shopping Network after we got home from bingo at the American Legion and we broke down and ordered one of those stomachizer, roll up, cruch up gizmo's for an amazingly low five easy payments of $49.50, $60 shipping and $40 handling charge.

I swept out a few dozen beer cans and five or six Cheeze Whiz cans and got a nice spot all reserved for it by my vibrating easy chair with the built-in ice box and microwave!

Killer ABS before harvest time or my name isn't Leroy Degas!

Can we get back to the subject of my husband having to wear tight trunks on holiday please?

How am I suposed to keep my mind on my holiday read when he is lying there stretched out and oiled up? No wonder the French have such a reputation as lovers.

I am convinced that if we ask the DOD to send Degas over to Iraq the "war" will be over in five minutes flat. If his wife goes with him it'll only take two minutes!

Swim shorts are only banned in France if they say 'E-MALE' on them.

Hi Buzzy,

We seem to have sorta forgot about you.

Which is it Buzzy? Are you concerned about protecting your children's delicate sensibilities or are you worried about being too distracted to read? Are you a prude or a voyeur? Personally, I say, show us the packages! Then we can decide whether we want to open them or not!

Sorry, Buzzy, what was your question again OL

Actually, regardless of the country, my husband wears the regular swimming suit that is like a pair of boxer shorts, whatever that is called.

The speedo type that you are referring to are favored by some Europeans, probably the men, since I have yet to hear a woman say she likes the look.
As for your children, to see a mans bulging bits is sort of like seeing a womans chest bulging, they will learn sooner or later, don't worry about what they see at the beach, television is what you need to worry about if you are worried about what the kiddies see
and yes, I think you might be a bit of a prude, but there is nothing wrong with that~

Sometimes I worry more about the "gaps" in the leg openings of those "boxer" type suits than the tight speedo, "mind the gap". Sorry, I couldn't resist!

This whole twisted conversation is now a bit too 'Russki" for myself. Reminds me of a Moose Lodge meeting gone bad!

And what, pray tell, is the proper swimming attire for one's monkey in France?

An orangu thong, of course!

A friend of mine once asked me how to attract girls on the French Riviera. I told him to wear one of those speedo bathing suits and put a potato in it.

That evening he was very disappointed because it didn't seem to work. I told him tomorrow to put the potato in the front.

Re: "The speedo type that you are referring to are favored by some Europeans, probably the men, since I have yet to hear a woman say she likes the look."

Scarlett, that's one of the curious differences, IMO, between men and women. I've asked numerous women whether they would find skimpier attire (on men with good bodies, that is) to be more appealing or sexier than less-skimpy attire and, *almost* to a woman, they've said no.

On the other hand, I can't imagine most men saying they'd prefer less-skimpy attire on women with good bodies.

LOL.....you guys should get your acts together and go on the road. Oh man, I'm laughin'.

Buzzy, once again, there is no such animal as the Swimwear Police. Your husband should wear what's comfortable. If he likes boxers, then let him WEAR BOXERS.

During my long summers in Laguna Beach California as a child we used to notice the guys strutting their "stuff" in what we referred to as bun huggers. We didn't have the nerve to check out the scene from the front.

Degas, do you and your "little" wife ever shop anywhere but KMART and Wal-Mart before you go on a trip? I'd be interested to know where you shop in Paris so I can avoid you two "big" spenders.

Tassels may be in, if the men's version of mules. Maybe?

Look I've already explained that there are swimwear police alive and well in France. My husband was busted last year because his swimwear was obviously not tight enough. They obviously think the tighter your swimwear the cleaner your ass and you are allowed to put in in their pool.

Are you encouraging my husband to break the rules and wear shorts again. I don't want him to be "banged up" by a Frenchman.

p.s (Banged up is east end speak for jailed in the UK)

Buzzy, if he loves you enough, he'll put on the boxers and give you some peace. I think you'll need a jock as well. Just look for Everlast.

There are no Swimwear Police on the beaches in France. If anywhere, perhaps they exist at the hotels, but not on the beaches. So skip the pool, have your hubby wear his boxers to the beach, and have a great time. It's not that difficult.

Now how about you, Buzzy, do you relent and go topless with the other women on the French beaches? I would have, but I was afraid of the sunburn....

I just saw a film called Swimming Pool and the French woman in this film skipped the bathing suit altogether!
Buzzy-tell him to just skip the suit and show it all off..that'll give the kiddies something to talk about when they go back to school
Smiles Schmiles

But look what happened to him after the swim.....

Hint for Buzzy: Don;t go to France.

THE PARTY's GETTING Rough!
THINK I'll STAY!!!!!!

Yes Buzzy, You are a prude. Women wear things that show off their tits, and men show off their crotch if they so choose. Celebrate men "in all their glory" as you say.

Capo: I prefer speedos. Besides being sexier (ok, except in some cases), they even the score a bit between men & women, since women's swimming attire is nearly always skintight.

Buzzy, since nearly everyone so far thinks that shorts will be acceptable (ALMOST) everywhere, why not let hubby take swim shorts and buy a (modest) speedo-type just in case you do run into the Swimwear Police again? Then you can stop worrying.

We tend to stay in rural gites when we go to France so often we need to use the local pools. In previous years we have tried to use lakes but not all areas have them nearby.

I think we need a campaign to make swimming shorts acceptable to these domineering, preening pool attendants. They spend all their lives swinging their whistle amongst other things around the pool making sure you get a great view of their salami.

Perhaps we could have views for and against tight swimwear.

Getting Even Prudier.

Buzzy:

Most people come to these forums to find out about hotels, places to eat, to rent etc.,
I find incredible that in this day and age you posted such a ludicrous message. There is nothing indecent about the human anatomy; be it male or female. Moreover, I think your comments are offensive to men.

My advice to you is to forget about the swimming attire and get real, get a life, and get a good shrink !!

RE: Daisey1

Leave buzzy along - take some of your own judgemental advice and stick ONLY to comments about hotels, trains and airplanes.

And you might ask YOUR shrink about those little voices that tell you to put down other folks when thier opinion is not the same as yours.

You must be one of those "do as I say and not what I do" folks that lurk forums so they can pounce when they see something they don't like.

I have the reverse problem, my husband is Swiss and thinks that the only "right" attire for the swimming are the shorts. He would not be caught dead on trunks. You can imagine the raised eyebrows we sometimes get in the beach at home (Puerto Rico). I on the other hand, when in Rome do as the romans do...At home I wear sensible one-piece bathing suits and in Europe I go topless with a thong bikini.

Buzzy - by the way, be prepared for the men on thongs.

marigross, I DREAM of being able to go topless with a thong bikini! Long gone are those days, alas, along with my pert figure. But I live in hope!

Please allow me to add the following post taken from another website. I think you will find it amusing too, and on topic in view of the current conversation. The writer was reviewing a hotel she stayed at in Orlando.

"There was something else that I forgot to add on my review, there are huge, stone, greek-styled statues that are like 6-8 feet tall all over the place. I passed a male one and had to swing my 9 year old in the other direction because these statues don't have any fig leaves! YES, absolutely, graphically detailed and naked. I cannot say anymore but just use your imagination. VERY LIFE LIKE! I understand art but way too revealing where children are concerned."

The truth ladies and gentlemen! Now, can we please get a Speedo for Michelangelo's David? What color? Or perhaps boxer style swimsuit instead?

Well, if not a speedo for Michelangelo's David, maybe someone will recommend that all of these statues be circumsised.

This lady certainly wouldn't want to visit Frogner (sp) Park in Oslo. ha ha ha

Please tell me which beaches feature men in thongs! I promise I won't send Daisy1 any of my pictures.

Re: "Capo: I prefer speedos. Besides being sexier (ok, except in some cases), they even the score a bit between men & women, since women's swimming attire is nearly always skintight."

Jenviolin, based on my informal survey of women (American women, that is) you're very much in the minority.

Of the women I've asked, the prevailing view among the majority who don't like speedos on men -- even those with good bodies -- seems to be that they like more "left to the imagination."

For most men, on the other hand, I suspect that a tiny dot of fabric barely visible to the naked eye on a woman with a nice body would be sufficient enough to leave *something* to the imagination.

Buzz man, just wear American swim pants like you'd wear to an American beach. If you are the only man wearing a man's bathing suit, you will know that, yes, you are the only civilized man on the beach and to Hell with the rest of the sissies. Kick sand in their faces.

Oh, just Smiles, w/o the slur. But thanks anyway for the assistance - that was appreciated.

Well, Ladies and Gentleman, sometimes men who have what it takes are happy to wear Speedos, and less, and those who don't stick to other types of attire.

Schmiles-
that would be schlur!
Shcarlett

Well said, and stylish. Merci et ciao, SmilesTravel (farther than frowns).

I vote with Daisy1 on this one!

Okay, I figure there must not be a lot happening in the world of travel, right?

I mean, this post has been going on for a looonnnngggg time. (no pun intended or, perhaps, it is intended, depending on the suit you chose.)

LOL, you're so right, Jack. Just killing time until the flight is called, and thank goodness, that's soon.

There is always time for bantering and joking, or at least there should be. I hope I never get to the point where every discussion I engage in is serious, informational and on-topic! Obviously, many of us are interested in swimwear and those who wear (or don't wear) it. I don't see what's wrong with that?
QueenMab

Bravo, Queen, bravo, but some shun fun.

From our vantage point on the beach in St. Jean du Cap Ferrat one day we saw more than enough men in speedoish things and some in thongs. It left me cold and then we saw a fellow with nice loose shorts and nothing else and we three women were agog. It must be an American thing, but I would rather see a man natural in loose shorts than packed in like schnitzel.

first of all, guys who love to show it are the worst lovers!!
but saying that, dont let anyone tell you what to wear IF you feel it is you and you would feel unconfortable otherwise. They may stare BUT not throw you out. (I have never seen that.)
Same goes for ladies, wearing black in some areas is like funeral wear.

Its not just an American thing to not find speedos appealling, it a British thing too. I have yet to find anybody who finds this look appealling, it usually leaves us shuddering. Nobody under the age of 50 would be seen dead in the things unless they are extremely uncool. YUK - they would be ridiculed off the beach

the pool is empty, the tide has gone way out so go have a drink. But not in those swimming things,

Proud unreconstructed speedo wearer here. I got tired of wearing wet shorts and a wet jockstrap all day. Too much chafing. Plus I don't have ridiculous tan lines down to my knees. Just a nice frame around what counts. And if you little prudes and men afraid of your own weenies don't like it, swim someplace else.

SmilesTravel,

'Tis true,
some shun fun.
But of those some,
I am not one.

Claude, my wife's hairdresser, told her the other day that the boastful ones who like to talk the most, usually have far less to show upon final inspection.

Who says size doesn't matter? (I'm talking about swimsuits, of course.)

... but if it were to matter, here's a tip off: look for the large mercedes, the beemer, the most humongous suv. and guess why.

You know what they say about men with big feet, don't you?
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Big shoes!!!

I don't know anything about the beaches of France, all I know any woman who lap swims in a public pool in the US comes to appreciate the hot bods in the speedos. I used to love to have a guy fly by me in the next lane with a perfect body sporting a speedo. There is nothing like it, except maybe the Oregon coast.

How about women's attire at the beaches? Yesterday I went to a local beach in SoCal and the woman getting the most attention was in the surf wearing a white gauzy top and long pants. The men were ignoring the bikini thonged bathers and were agape at the completely covered woman. She had a thong on under the pants but that was all, and the men were on their knees, lol. The women in our group yesterday all agreed, too, that she stole the show, she was outstanding.

In Europe and the US, I think the women show too much and leave only about a few inches to the imagination.

Many years ago I was in Avignon alone, spoke zilch French and was in a garden shop and saw a stone statue that would be nice in my tiny garden. Next to it was a statue of David, about three feet tall, but in terra cotta, unsuitable to sit out in Boston winter weather. I paid for the other statue and had it shipped. weeks later when it arrived at my post office, I couldn't understand why it was so light as I hauled it into a waiting cab. I unwrapped it at home to find, she had sent me David. At first, all the women had comments to make about his attributes. He now stands on my staircase and has a wardrobe of pareos made from my scarves or those I buy for him for different occassions. He's wearing wreath of small sunflower on his head at the momentand a bunch of lavender tucked in his arm. What turned out to be a big mistake is now the household amusement.

Unfortunately, many guys are wearing the board shorts when they swim with their underware underneath in the U.S. I've noticed in Europe they want everyone to take a naked shower first before swimming. In the U.S. I never see anyone take a shower before going down a slide at a waterpark. I guess (and hope) the chemicals of mass destruction are in the U.S. pools.

So now we get down to the bottom of things. Not to poo-poo Wally34949's skid-marks, er, remarks, but I smell a conspiracy. Biological weapons indeed!

Degas, if you have de gas, you'd better check de shorts!

The reason is quite simple : it is to bar people from entering the wimming pool with shorts that they've been wearing all day long, and to prevent endless arguments arguments like "why are you letting *him* in the pool and not *me*? His outfit is just like mine!!" or "Are you telling *me* that my shorts ae *dirty*????"

I'm still reeling in amazement that someone would say that they are embarrassed that their children can see bulges.