Meeting a travel companion online: a good idea?
Nov 29th, 2005, 08:34 PM
#1
Original Poster
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 48
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Meeting a travel companion online: a good idea?
Hello again - I am seeking some general comments and advice about a travel partner.
I posted a little blurb on the Graffiti Wall on Rick Steve's website a few weeks ago, stating only that I was 26, female, and that I would be in London-Paris-Amsterdam in Jan '06.
Today I got an email from this guy, an American. We Instant messaged for about 30 minutes, just trying to get a feel for whether or not we might "click" in order to be travel companions. He is a few years older than me, seems nice, educated, etc.
My question is...how do I go about meeting him or getting together with him in Europe in a safe way? Should we simply agree on a place to meet, a time, and a date? (Public of course)
Are there any things in particular I should be careful of (Other than the obvious - meeting in a public place, etc.)
Thanks for your help!
I posted a little blurb on the Graffiti Wall on Rick Steve's website a few weeks ago, stating only that I was 26, female, and that I would be in London-Paris-Amsterdam in Jan '06.
Today I got an email from this guy, an American. We Instant messaged for about 30 minutes, just trying to get a feel for whether or not we might "click" in order to be travel companions. He is a few years older than me, seems nice, educated, etc.
My question is...how do I go about meeting him or getting together with him in Europe in a safe way? Should we simply agree on a place to meet, a time, and a date? (Public of course)
Are there any things in particular I should be careful of (Other than the obvious - meeting in a public place, etc.)
Thanks for your help!
Nov 29th, 2005, 08:57 PM
#2
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 460
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Sounds like great fun, but here are a few things to make sure of:
- leaving the country doesn't violate his prison parole conditions
- he has private medical insurance to supplement his Medicare coverage
- he has extra batteries for his pacemaker
- his wife is still in the USA
- his court date for domestic battery and stalking isn't set for January
- his mom lent him enough money to pay his way on the trip
- he isn't behind in his child support payments
- his KKK buds don't tag along on the trip
- his final TB treatment is finished by January
- leaving the country doesn't violate his prison parole conditions
- he has private medical insurance to supplement his Medicare coverage
- he has extra batteries for his pacemaker
- his wife is still in the USA
- his court date for domestic battery and stalking isn't set for January
- his mom lent him enough money to pay his way on the trip
- he isn't behind in his child support payments
- his KKK buds don't tag along on the trip
- his final TB treatment is finished by January
Nov 29th, 2005, 10:46 PM
#3
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 34,738
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Cato, you forgot about the follow up appt for his shock treatments 
marzipan,
I am adventurous about a lot of things but meeting strange men in another country where I will be alone, is not one of them.
Can you meet him in the US first?
I have emailed and been in contact with people over months , even years! and some of them work out and some of them ... well, let's just say thank goodness I didn't actually meet them in person.
You have to go reeeally slow with this...
marzipan,
I am adventurous about a lot of things but meeting strange men in another country where I will be alone, is not one of them.
Can you meet him in the US first?
I have emailed and been in contact with people over months , even years! and some of them work out and some of them ... well, let's just say thank goodness I didn't actually meet them in person.
You have to go reeeally slow with this...
Nov 30th, 2005, 03:28 AM
#5
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,260
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Naturally, the cynics have once again congregated for this thread..forgive them.
Ira, grab your Nervous Nellie little knickers and read the post AGAIN..nobody is "running off to Europe" with anyone since the original poster is already going to BE THERE...
Sure, Marzipan..meet him on neutral territory FIRST. Do NOT tell him where you are staying..just agree to meet.
Instant messaging is fine but IMO you need the vibe you get from a face-to-face and even that can be dicey.
Don't plan on success..then if it happens it is all the better.
Ira, grab your Nervous Nellie little knickers and read the post AGAIN..nobody is "running off to Europe" with anyone since the original poster is already going to BE THERE...
Sure, Marzipan..meet him on neutral territory FIRST. Do NOT tell him where you are staying..just agree to meet.
Instant messaging is fine but IMO you need the vibe you get from a face-to-face and even that can be dicey.
Don't plan on success..then if it happens it is all the better.
Nov 30th, 2005, 06:01 AM
#6
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 460
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Cynics do not need to be forgiven, just thanked for sometimes getting your head out of the clouds.
It pays to be careful. You are at high risk of becoming a prime target of some clever jerk with bad intentions and slick instant messaging skills. But hey, sometimes those electro-shock treatments work miracles.
It pays to be careful. You are at high risk of becoming a prime target of some clever jerk with bad intentions and slick instant messaging skills. But hey, sometimes those electro-shock treatments work miracles.
Nov 30th, 2005, 06:07 AM
#7
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 6,127
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I wouldn't do it, but I suppose you can have success finding a good travel companion this way. But then again you have to think would you ask a stranger to go travelling with you if this were face to face.
Nov 30th, 2005, 07:02 AM
#9
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 3,009
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
In 2000, I was going by myself on a Contiki tour. I noticed on the online bulletin board that a single male was also going on my tour. We exchanged 3 or 4 emails and I decided to wait for him at the Madrid Airport (for 3 hours) upon arrival so that we could find our way to the hotel together (we were a little nervous).
I married him in 2003.
So you can find cynics in every group of people, but let this also serve as a reminder that sometimes wonderful things happen based on unusual (and sometimes risky) circumstances.
Like other people suggested, I would agree to meet him in a PUBLIC place and I would not tell him where I'm staying. If he presses you for that information, then I would be concerned. A normal/safe male would understand why a single female is being cautious.
I married him in 2003.
So you can find cynics in every group of people, but let this also serve as a reminder that sometimes wonderful things happen based on unusual (and sometimes risky) circumstances.
Like other people suggested, I would agree to meet him in a PUBLIC place and I would not tell him where I'm staying. If he presses you for that information, then I would be concerned. A normal/safe male would understand why a single female is being cautious.
Nov 30th, 2005, 07:03 AM
#10
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 8,862
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Where is he? And where are you?
Before arranging a face-to-face meeting, I'd do the following: Arrange to get some photos.
Also, talk on the phone. Very important, in my opinion.
When I meet people online these days, I try to talk to them on the phone asap. You can't really gauge from e-mails.
The first time I met yk from this forum was in London. Maybe she felt safer than my mom was with me. We met at the National Gallery and went to a concert together. We didn't exchange photos, and we chose to meet the celebrated painting of the Doge by Bellini.
We never talked on the phone, but we were both avid players of the crossword games thread, and we exchanged e-mails quite extensively. I was pretty comfortable meeting her (and even trusted her with my credit card so that she could get the tickets I had booked online for us).
It turned out well, as I later met her and her now husband in NYC when they visited in July.
I know people who've met their partners online.
So be a little adventurous, but take some precautions.
Have fun!
Before arranging a face-to-face meeting, I'd do the following: Arrange to get some photos.
Also, talk on the phone. Very important, in my opinion.
When I meet people online these days, I try to talk to them on the phone asap. You can't really gauge from e-mails.
The first time I met yk from this forum was in London. Maybe she felt safer than my mom was with me. We met at the National Gallery and went to a concert together. We didn't exchange photos, and we chose to meet the celebrated painting of the Doge by Bellini.
We never talked on the phone, but we were both avid players of the crossword games thread, and we exchanged e-mails quite extensively. I was pretty comfortable meeting her (and even trusted her with my credit card so that she could get the tickets I had booked online for us).
It turned out well, as I later met her and her now husband in NYC when they visited in July.
I know people who've met their partners online.
So be a little adventurous, but take some precautions.
Have fun!
Nov 30th, 2005, 07:14 AM
#11
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 773
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
"He is a few years older than me, seems nice, educated, etc.'
I bet abused kids and women put that
same line in many police reports.
Be careful - there are a lot of nasty losers out there using the internet to set nice people up for big trouble.
I bet abused kids and women put that
same line in many police reports.
Be careful - there are a lot of nasty losers out there using the internet to set nice people up for big trouble.
Nov 30th, 2005, 07:43 AM
#13
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 49,560
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Why don't you try to get a small group of people together instead of just the two of you, at least for the first meeting? Fodorites seem to do that all the time, and there haven't been any horror stories reported.
If you like the guy at the first meeting, you can take the next steps as you see fit.
If you like the guy at the first meeting, you can take the next steps as you see fit.
Nov 30th, 2005, 07:52 AM
#14
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 445
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Geez, just because someone is online doesn't mean that he's a child abuser and wife beater. That's ridiculous. It always sort of amuses me that folks have that sort of reaction to meeting someone online, but wouldn't hesistate to chat with and give out a phone number to someone they meet the "old fashioned" way ... in a bar.
Nov 30th, 2005, 07:56 AM
#15
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 19,000
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
"...a few years older than [you], seems nice, educated, etc." You just described Ted Bundy.
I would
1. Be certain of his name, address, and phone number.
2. After meeting in a safe place, have him leave first.
I would
1. Be certain of his name, address, and phone number.
2. After meeting in a safe place, have him leave first.
Nov 30th, 2005, 07:56 AM
#16
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 8,862
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Yes, I agree with you, Kath.
Though in my experience, people are much more lax online -- in terms of observing social boundaries and courtesy. I know that I'm a little that way. I think there's the sense that you can get away with outrageous things because you don't see the other person (witness some of the exchanges on this forum).
I used to be pretty careful. As I get older, I'm less careful. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Even if you meet a psycho, you can still walk (or run) away.
Though in my experience, people are much more lax online -- in terms of observing social boundaries and courtesy. I know that I'm a little that way. I think there's the sense that you can get away with outrageous things because you don't see the other person (witness some of the exchanges on this forum).
I used to be pretty careful. As I get older, I'm less careful. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Even if you meet a psycho, you can still walk (or run) away.
Nov 30th, 2005, 08:04 AM
#17
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 20,923
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
One thing that hasn't been suggested is that you make sure someone you trust knows as much as you know about this person before you meet him (preferably with copies of emails and any other indications about who he is), and when and where you're going to meet him. I'd do that even if you were going to meet him with a group (an excellent idea if possible).
Nov 30th, 2005, 08:36 AM
#19
Original Poster
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 48
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
All of your comments are appreciated and duelly noted....and some gave me a laugh!
I understand that someone that seems nice can be a psycho killer. I also understand that internet acquaintances can be what they seem, or not at all what they seem. That is why I am posting. I know how to be safe, but I wanted to cover all the bases by getting other opinions.
I know to meet him in a safe place.
I know to give his name and info to a family member (just in case).
I know to not share too much of my info.
I know to play it by ear, and plan on meeting him once I am there IN PUBLIC and only to meet and see if we "click"
I am going to Europe regardless...I just thought it could be fun to have a travel companion for part of the trip. I won't be sharing rooms with him or anything like that.
I understand that someone that seems nice can be a psycho killer. I also understand that internet acquaintances can be what they seem, or not at all what they seem. That is why I am posting. I know how to be safe, but I wanted to cover all the bases by getting other opinions.
I know to meet him in a safe place.
I know to give his name and info to a family member (just in case).
I know to not share too much of my info.
I know to play it by ear, and plan on meeting him once I am there IN PUBLIC and only to meet and see if we "click"
I am going to Europe regardless...I just thought it could be fun to have a travel companion for part of the trip. I won't be sharing rooms with him or anything like that.
Nov 30th, 2005, 08:42 AM
#20
I'm not clear if you want to go on your entire trip with this man? Or just meet up for a date along the way?
Not even getting into the possible "dangers" of a blind date with a complete stranger when you are alone and a long way from home... I simply would prefer to travel solo than with someone I don't know. I pick my travel partners *extremely* carefully for compatibility. I have several dear friends that I wouldn't want to travel internationally with.
If you are serious about pursuing this can you arrange to spend a weekend together at your or his hometown before the trip? Are you in the U.S. also?
Not even getting into the possible "dangers" of a blind date with a complete stranger when you are alone and a long way from home... I simply would prefer to travel solo than with someone I don't know. I pick my travel partners *extremely* carefully for compatibility. I have several dear friends that I wouldn't want to travel internationally with.
If you are serious about pursuing this can you arrange to spend a weekend together at your or his hometown before the trip? Are you in the U.S. also?
