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Looking for the Holy Grail... in a Tour of Italy

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My wife and I are celebrating our 35th wedding anniversary and my 60th birthday next year and we want to take my 27 year old daughter and 29 year old son with us on a trip to Italy. We want to go in mid-May 2017 and we want to visit Venice, Florence (really interested in the Tuscany region) and Rome. We don’t have an unlimited budget but of course we are looking for the Holy Grail. To us that is a tour with the fewest people possible, staying in better hotels with as much of the logistics handled as possible (transfers and such). We would also like it if we were able to have some time to explore on our own as well as spending time with the tour group.
Does this Holy Grail exist? As I look around the web I see an unbelievable number of tour companies and packages with prices all over the map. I’ve seen a couple options at Trafalgar that look interesting and reasonably priced, but I suspect it’s the full-bus-load experience and we would really like to avoid that if at all possible.
Does anyone have suggestions based on experience with taking a tour of Italy? Any and all assistance to help us find our Holy Grail is appreciated.

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