Rus

My family will be visiting london.During our stay we will be meeting a local family-they helped is plan out trip.What is the local custom for dinner? Should I p/u the check.Don't want to damage Anglo-Am relations. Amy suggestions?

Patrick Wallace

How well do you know them? It sounds as though they're not the kind of old friends for whom this wouldn't be a possible cause of embarrassment. How much work would they have put in for you - some way of saying thank you would be appreciated I'm sure, but is a full-scale restaurant meal for a family too much? Either way, if you do decide to offer, it might be worth doing so in advance rather than at the end of the meal, but fairly low-key (By the way, this is on us, as a thank you....). If you decide it is too much to offer, then maybe you should take some gift or other and present it as a thank-you from the outset.

egg

You could perhaps offer to pay for the wine, or perhaps you could let them pay for this meal and then at the end of your stay take them out for dinner as your guests.

Ann

It's the same as in the U.S.--you'll offer to pay, they'll refuse, you'll offer again, they'll refuse, and on and on. Then they'll offer to pay, etc.<BR><BR>Finally, in the end, you'll agree to divide the bill. Same old stupid stuff as in America.

Russ

Thanks to all for the suggestions. I met then when they were inUS for a vacay(Holiday). They are looking for "not to miss" Family events for us. I wanted to avoid the"I'llpay,NO I'll pay" scene. Gifts may be way to go. ( I checked the Fodors question site-good ideas for gifts.) Thank you all.

Ruth

Who instigated the meal, suggested the restaurant etc, and how was the invitation phrased? In Germany I found that if someone else organised such an outing then they would expect to pay, and could be offended if we offered to pay or split the cost. In Britain, in my experience, it is not nearly so clear cut, but you should not assume that they are expecting to pay for your whole family either. If they said "let's meet up for a meal" I would rather assume that each family would be paying its own way. In any case I do not think you could possibly cause offence by offering to split the bill (check), or indeed to pay for everyone (they may well refuse). Landing them with an unexpected bill of upwards of 100 GBP (depending on how many of you there are of course) and receiving perhaps a gift of a calendar could cause some offence! I would say that British customs are quite similar to American here - follow your own instincts.

Ellen

I'd suggest a gift from the USA to show your appreciation. Food gifts, like, maple surup, would be a nice gesture.

Russ

Thanks again. Guess we'll split it and we'll bring a gift.