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Just starting to think about Ireland / London trip

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Sorry, but this is going to require quite a bit of setup.

First, the facts: This trip will be this summer, probably last two weeks of July. There will be five of us - my husband and I (50-ish), my mother-in-law (78, gets around well), and our daughters (19 and 23). We know we want to go to Ireland. Kids want to go to London, and we agree that's a good idea. Husband wants to go to Scotland, which would be wonderful but I think that'll have to wait for another trip. Mother-in-law's only requirement is that she sees Kilkenny, the home of her distant family long ago. The big thing on my wish list is to see the Ring of Kerry.

Questions/concerns:
1. How to get around. I might be willing to try driving on the left, but I'm not very comfortable with the idea in cities, especially with four other vocal people in the car. I don't mind group trips, but we really would want to have a lot of free time and not spend hours on end in a bus while we pass all these cool places. I'm afraid this might be irreconcilable.
2. How much is really do-able. I'm thinking maybe a 4-3-4 split - Ireland, then London, then back again. This could change because of luggage and other considerations, and we might opt to spend a week or so in Ireland then four or five days in London (or vice-versa). I've already seen great information about going between the two, and I'm not looking to resolve this right now. But I'm wondering if I should give up the idea of the Ring of Kerry because it would be too problematic and, instead, just do day trips from one or two bases in Ireland.

I have seen recent posts that address a lot of this in detail, but I'm not at that point, and it would be inconsiderate to ask you all to repeat any of that. I was hoping for some over-arching, big-picture advice for a framework for this trip. When it comes to the details, I've seen enough to know that there already is plenty of great advice on this forum!

Thank you for any suggestions you might have.

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