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Italy with out the "tour"

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I am planning a trip to Italy with my wife to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. This will be our first time, and we are planning to go sometime this summer. Would love to hear some suggestion on itinerary's, hotel accommodations (we prefer the higher end, I save to go on vacation, NOT go on vacation to save) and modes of transportation.
I am not looking for a tour package, from what I hear you are rushed for time and generally go to places the tour wants to go to. I would like to do this on my own....Am I asking for trouble?
Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
Thank you,

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