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Italy July 2013 HELP!

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Dear Fodorites:
Hoping for some suggestions, am open to all!
First trip to Italy for me and my girls (10-12), dad has been before as a teen!

At first he was planning multiple stops (Rome, Naples, Venice, Florence) which sounded a bit too much in one trip. Now he has invited some friends from Brazil who have small kids I am thinking a more focused trip will be a better solution.

So given the following what would you recommend, please?

We arrive from DFW in FCO late pm July 4, 2013 for approx 12 days (some flex)

I assume we see
-ROME (which sites to prioritize? Hotel or apartment (need 5 bedrooms))
-MUST SEE? POMPEII (my 12 year is fascinated and has done much research on this!)
-I wondered about dividing time (about 12 days) in 2 with second half perhaps on Almafi coast in rental home with pool just to soak in the culture food etc

What are your thoughts, please? - The other 2 families have 2 * 2 year olds and a 6 year old, so obviously we will not try to do sightseeing together all the time but want to enjoy the conviviality of time in Italy together hence thoughts of renting homes in 2 locations. (they may bring a nanny in which case this would be less of an issue)

Of course I would love to see Venice & Florence and this may be possible from one of our set locations for a day or overnight, but with several different restrictions I realize this may not be possible.

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