Whats your iternary?

OHHH!!! I knew I've forgotten something! Where do I get iternary?

Dayenu! Hilarious!! What a great post. All newbies should read this.

Love your post! You forgot to ask what to wear and how to get from the airport to your hotel.

HOTEL??

Adrienne, please! This is so yesterday! Don't say the H-word. A real Fodorite rents a flat.

You didn't say how LONG you're going for but I expect you want to visit all the Scandinavian countries in 48 hours, right?

And will you have time to visit Germany too? It's so close and you don't know when you'll get another chance to visit.

Is Denmark that country shaped like a catcher's mitt?

Oh sorry; you Ruskies don't know about baseball....

Never mind; I was thinking of Michigan.

And you really should find out if you can drink the water there.

Charnees, I'll get the biker's backpack, you know the type when you suck water from it through a pipe?

Sassy, no, we are smart and seasoned travelers, we allow 48 hours for each country!

AnnW, we'll see if we can teach them to play lapta.

Oh, wait, is there any connection between lapta and laplandia?

48 hours? Better than a cruise at least.

If seriously, we love cruising, and taking one along Norway coast.

If not seriously, let me think of what category we are: newly wed, well fed, or nearly dead

You forgot to ask how much you should tip the pilot!!!!

Take your own toilet paper!!

Dayenu - almost all Scandinavians speak Russian. You'll get better prices if you ask in Russian. And better tables at restaurants. Promise.

As russians it is important that you speak loudly, wear clothes that would be normal at home, underpants, flip flops eh thats all. Please push to the front of every queue explaining "what is happening let me through i have money". Assume any barrier is only there to help you step over it and as at home drinking, smoking, eating, kissing, shouting and urinating is normal everywhere you go be that in church, next to a fuel wagon, on the bus or street.

I heard Sweden had a big volcano eruption and you need to wear a hat at all times.

Toilet paper? Never knew that. I thought seat covers were illegal in Scandinavia, not TP. Will I be arrested if I bring my own TP?

Oh, how could I forget about the volcano? Which is the best helicopter tour to see it? Is there a mule or reindeer tour down the volcano?

Bilbo (or is it dildo backwards?) I am going to pack flip flops, thank you! I find your advices very helpful.

not sure what dildo backwards is. I think it means finding the switch very difficult. In which case you could be right.

Now watch out for the bog men in denmark

Forgot to ask - when I use the US ATM card, I will get US currency, right? Or is there a slim chance of getting Scandic dollars? In which case, how do I know if I am not cheated if the rate is 18,298374 cents US for 1 Sc. dollar?

Dayenu - use a Norwegian ATM card before you leave the US. That way you will have some Krones when you arrive.

Oh, thanks for reminding, I have the key card from Norwegian cruise lines. Do you think it will work in Norway? I think it's the same country.

Be sure to sew your money to the inner lining of your stomach.

So you leave this Friday? Are you going by way of Alaska or what? I've been to Denmark but actually prefer Copenhagen.
As for vikings I'd worry more about the pesky trolls.

Bill in Boston

We must be related! Never knew Ozarks are in Boston.

We would go to Alaska, but there it's illegal to have money in the stomach. Our flight has a layover in Australia.

Should we bring garlic wreathes to ward off the trolls? Can we take a few of them home as souvenirs?

Dayenu, are you taking Skyhigh Airlines, maybe in cargo?http://www.skyhighairlines.com/main.asp

Oh, and don't forget to pack rotten meat laced with maggots in your carry on!

Seriously, Dayenu, have a great trip!

Not sure about Denmark, though Copenhagen harbour is a must.

The best way to discover the essence of Norway is to do the "Norway in a Nutshell" tour. It starts in Oslo, and finishes in Bergen, and tours the high country, the fjords and the coast, via rail, cog rail, ship and bus. It may seem expensive (Everything in Norway is!), but well worth the cost. Take an extra day or two in Oslo, too.

Cog rail? Is it when we have to push the car ourselves? No, thanks!

Just, ha ha ha, I forgot about this airline! Sure we fly cargo with the seats flat for comfortable slipping (no, not a typo )

I've been on that Norway in Nutshell. Included is a stop overlooking a waterfall with an enticing lady singing. Than back on the train. Fjords are so special. But then what can you do if in Denmark. No you cannot get a troll through customs. Besides they stink.
Bill in Boston not Ozarks

I'd stay away from Copenhagen harbour. I hear that Viking piracy is on the rise, especially against Russian tourists in August.

Oh, piracy, one more thing to consider

Just got an e-mail from a friend:

"a lot of scandal-hoovians speak russian" so I will leave my scandic dictionary at home.

Dayenu, as I've told you before start cleaning the ship as soon as you embark. The Vision of the Seas has been dubbed Vision of Dis-Ease by the Nordic folk because of a well known gastric plague. I'm boarding her in October (Holy Land, etc) and I want it clean...

I know you'll have a blast.

Don't stuff yourselves on the cruise or you'll sink to the bottom when the ship hits an iceberg ...

And the famous mermaid is in Shanghai at the World Expo eating shrimp fried rice!

Yeah, the mermaid... I took the yellow polka dot bikini (planned to cover her nekkidness) out of my suitcase.

I have a question. Watching the currency conversion, it went from 6.2 kronas to 5.6 kronas to a US dollar, does it mean Scandinavia is going bankrupt? I am afraid to get stranded there.

How exciting! I, too, am planning this trip and thought that perhaps I could take a day trip or two to perhaps Moscow? Or my family of 6 was considering a nice day somewhere in outer Mongolia? That's in Russia, right? Can we get there by public transportation? Is there a website that lists outer Mongolia trains? Will they accept my Scandic dollars there? Oh!! And I've always wanted to see Venice. Can we get there easily by train? Or bus? Oh wait!! Boat!!

"About the Vikings. ... I cannot find a single rental place for horned helmets, will the local tourist offices help? "

While you are there check out The Brett Favre Museum. It's very unusual. It's open one day, then it's closed, then it's open again, then it''s...

<<I hear that Viking piracy is on the rise, especially against Russian tourists in August.>>

But if you buy a handbag from the sidewalk merchants in Rome or Venice first then the Viking pirates will think you are from Hong Kong or maybe from Dayton and will leave you alone. Your cruise ship stops in Venice and Rome, right?

In the best voice of Mrs Doubtfire: you wicked, wicked man

Michelle, it's not Mongolia that is part of Russia, it's Molvania!
http://www.molvania.com/

Treesa, we will sanitize the ship for you! They don't sell Comet or Ajax, but I was told the local brand is called "Lutefisk"

LOL I don't need a knock-off from Venice, I can get my own in San Francisco Fishermen's Wharf... oh, wait, just yesterday FBI had a raid and arrested like 2 dozens of them... sellers that is, not handbags!

I'll roll up the hem of my skirt to carry everything in it!

Dayenu, I cannot believe all of the silly advice you are getting from this thread. I am truly disappointed in the Fodorites for not taking your post seriously. Please ignore everything you have read above and heed these practical tips:

Water is not safe to drink over there, even bottled water will make you terribly sick and could be fatal. You must bring your own bottled water from the US. I suggest at least 2 litres per day per person. Yes you will be charged for overweight baggage but it beats having to cut ice out of the glaciers and melt it for drinking.

Only tip the pilot in local currency, it's really rude to expect pilots over there to accept US$.

You can get Scandic $ from the ATM, or you can scan some US$, make copies then used your Scanned-it dollars instead. I find it more economical to make counterfeit currency than exchanging and using legal currency, but that's a personal preference. Of course you can buy counterfeit currency once you arrive. But if you plan to do much travelling it really makes more sense to invest in a good scanner and make your own.

Recently there have been a lot of Molvanian immigrants in Scandinavia due to their liberal immigration laws. You must beware of the Molvanians as most have whooping cough. You will know a Molvanian when you see one, they all have random brown teeth. They also have scary looking children. While most are harmless I would still steer clear of them as they might try to steal your dental floss.

If I think of any other good advice I will post it later. The rest of you--CUT IT OUT!! You are confusing Dayenu and if she listens to all of you she will get over there and look like a fool.

Have a great trip.

Thank you so kindly, P_M, now I see who is my real friend

I think I call them "scandic dollars" incorrectly, I'd probably misheard "scanned-it dollars".

And what do you call a person who loves Scandinavia? Is it Scandalophile or Scandalophobic?

Happy to help Dayenu. Now to give yet another serious answer to your good question:

"And what do you call a person who loves Scandinavia? Is it Scandalophile or Scandalophobic?"

A lover of Scandinavia is neither really.

A Scandalophobic is one with an irrational fear of Scandinavian scandals. Conversely, a Scandalophile is one who loves Scandinavian Scandals. I happen to be a Scandolo-scanner-ophile as I do love Scandinavian Scanners for my scams in Scan-it currency.

I'm sure it's all very clear now.

Dayenu; Will you be on the lookout for StCirq and zeppole. They decided to take a trip together.

<<A Scandalophobic is one with an irrational fear of Scandinavian scandals. >>

PM must have been distracted by her Ipod; it is actually Scandinavian *sandals.*

Because of the volcano the weather has been unseasonably warm, but native Scandians have over the generations developed a fear of sandals akin to that of white "trainers" in the continent of Europe. Oh wait, I think Scandia might be part of that continent, or are they with the Arctic circle and Greenland? Anyway it is *sandalphobic* and if you are one just wear the white trainers instead.

OK, I will be on look-out for Z-St in white trainers.

What is "trainers"? Do they wear white between Memorial and Labor days in Scandinavia? Wouldn't it cause a scandal?

Dayenu; Havn't you ever seen what the Japanese wear across their face. Look for z-St in 'white trainers'. No 'talkie'

Across face? You mean cameras and camcorders? We each will have a camera, so far so good.

No, the white mask to keep out the toxic fumes. With these two, it could be 'talk'.

P.S. 'toxic talk'.

Toxic fumes from fjords? Is this where the viking pirates are hiding?

Just be sure not to limit your sightseeing options. Sure you can see the fjords, but also make sure you view the nice chevys and Hondas. Heard they had some nice models this year.

Or maybe they are pronounced cjhevys and Hjondas. I always get confused on that whole metric thing.

I thought Hjondas only displayed at Ijkeas, no? I wonder if they must be assembled by the customers too. There is only one way to find out But when I buy, how do I order in metrics?

If I knew this planning would take so much effort, I'd stay at home! Besides, we already visited Solvang, not much more there to see in Europe!

Funny as this thread is, sometimes reality does imitate parody:

http://www.fodors.com/community/europe/denmark-sweden-help.cfm

Well, DUH! In another thread I asked if they charge taxes in addition to displayed prices - what do I know, I live in the US where you see $9.99 but pay $10.86.

Oh, and if I want to buy a bottle of water in Denmark, is it a meter or a liter?

Hey Dayenu; Have a great trip. We will be right behind you, so don't stop quick.

<<,Oh, and if I want to buy a bottle of water in Denmark, is it a meter or a liter? >>

Shouldn't you just keep re-filling your 3 oz. bottles from the plane ride over?

No, can't do. If Iris bumps into me, all those bottles will scatter!

Oh, no, another one!! 16C in Copenhagen - how do I translate this into Farengheit? Divulge by 32, then what?

And how will I translate the purchases - 79 kronas, 5.66 kronas per 1 US dollar - how much is this?

I am in a state of panic

Never mind the kronas; have a Corona

Approximate reading would be 16 times 2 plus 30= 62 I don't know if this helps, but here goes. 1. Norway-- .1674 = 1 US dollar 2. Denmark-- .1770 = 1 US dollar As of todays currency exchange. We are also getting ready for our departure on Tuesday. To answer your specfic question, one has to know the country as three of the countries use different Krona. Richard

opps; Sorry, this was the 'fun' thread.

LOL with so many threads one gets easily confused!

I will ask the banks how to translate Celcius in Farenheit. As for Kronas... if I flush a bunch of dollars held as a fan they will look at me with great respect!

(seriously, we both grew up in USSR with metric system and C temps, so it's not a problem) - especially after a couple of Coronas

Dayenu, where in the USSR are you from? Vy otkuda? я из алматы.

They have Corona in Scandinavia? Why didn't we know that?

Sure, they have kings/queens, they have Coronas

Rainy, from Belarus, came in 1989 the old way - through Austria and Italy. Now in San Francisco, dreaming of going back to see the places where we stayed. Hopefully, next year!

Dayenu; My grandmother was from Vilnus. Perhaps we're cousins. Any Tulpinski's today. That's not a drink. If it was it would be very strong.

Hey Bugler, Dayenu...I do know a used car dealer in Copenhagen. But actually you don't want to buy a new car because of high tax. Anyway don't gorge yourself on the herring.
Bill now in Boston

Herring will raise my blood pressure Is it true, they have herring circus, or those Golden Girls lied on TV?

We bot the tix from Delta, but they moved us to KLM, I don't want to fly in a wooden viking plane, what do I do? File a complaint with Ikea?

Are you sure the Vikings are flying??

Seems like the only herring what would raise a Russian's blood pressure is a RED Herring.

Hey the Vikings conquered most of the world at one time in their wooden ships. Don't underestimate a Viking!!

I believe today is Dayenu's travel day--BON VOYAGE and please try not to scare the Vikings too much.

Now that we are home, why their coins have holes in them? Is it to follow the European tradition of Swiss cheese?

Oh boy (and girl) are we looking for your trip report/retreat/release/recount/rehash!
Bill in Boston

A few more days... you will learn how to steal bread rolls, how useful Russian is in Alesund, see my husband with Elvis Presley, oh, and by the way, they'd checked me out for explosives!

The coins have holes in them so you can see what coins you have, even if they are in a pile. It is really quite ingenious.