Even my French in-laws say the French can be rather cool or even rude to each other so do not expect folks to say 'hi' to strangers passing them on the street - some folks interpret this as rudeness but it is just a national character trait. I have never felt in umpteen visits to France that I was not welcome or for that matter welcome.

It's just the French being French IMO - same to us as to other French.

France is a big country, and people's response to visitors will vary according to different local factors. In some parts of the country, it might be more enthusiastic, or just curious, because not many foreign visitors go there. In others, it may be grumpier if people feel overwhelmed by visitors. In big cities, there is likely to be a certain indifference, since everyone has their own business to be preoccupied with: being a visitor doesn't give you special status, even - or perhaps especially - in places with a large tourist trade.

I don't feel unwelcome in France; I live in a big world city with people from all over, and we generally get along, but we don't expect everyone we meet to treat us as their new best friend - and French people (certainly Parisians) are much the same, only more so. They expect a degree of formality, as indicating mutual respect (hence, never just walk up to someone and start with your immediate personal concern of a question, and particularly not if you're not going to converse in French): but that, to them, is politeness, which comes before friendliness.

Yes to what Patrick says - and here if you go to NYC Americans always say how rude and cool New Yokers are - to me it is endemic with a big city that sees tons of tourists. Yet here in the mid-west foreigners tell me folks are so very very friendly - but these same folks tell me New Yokers were rude to them.

Our first interaction with the French was in Nice on 9/11---yes, I do mean THE 9/11. We were overwhelmed by the compassion and courtesy of the French people there and in the days following when we were in Paris.

Since then we have returned to Paris & other parts of France on a regular basis in Sept. We have always felt welcome and have been treated with kind respect.

We have been to the tourist areas of other countries and sometimes were treated with annoyance, but never in France.

The French are very polite people. If you treat them in the same way with respect, it will come back to you.

Just one traveler's opinion.

The French are very polite people. If you treat them in the same way with respect, it will come back to you.>

so so true IME of 50 or so trips to France - one problem some of my French friends and in-laws have with Americans is that some are too loud - and bark out things like "DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH without even saying anything polite thing like "Excusez-moi monsieur (or madame)" first - learn some few words of French to start a question and the French IME will then treat you very politely - but just bark perhaps not.

I imagine that, on my first trip to France in 1976, I was the former....and, of course, they were rude (or so I thought).

Now, 35 years later, they seem quite cordial. Funny how a whole nation has changed for the better. Of course, my hair has greyed somewhat in the interim.

I have always had good experiences with the French. There is an occasional brusque waiter but still not rude. They have a different way of interacting than Americans do, but they are not rude. If you are polite and courteous, you will have no problems at all.

Never thought the French were rude. I think my hometown is a lot ruder to tourists. The French are quiet and polite, thus don't like loud/brash or being forced to do anything (like speak English to a foreigner who makes no attempt to speak the language of the foreign country they are visiting). In Italy last week, I've seen people sit down in restaurants, complain when menus aren't in their own native language and then walk out! It all depends on how both sides choose to interact

Interesting first post. By any chance are you flogging the study site? If you are doing research, it is better to open and up front about it.

I have only ever had one person be rude to me in paris - and either he was a grouch or having a really bad day - since he was rude to other diners too.

However, it is true that, in general, the French are somewhat more formal than americans - and we may regard their normal behavior as cold - while they think our normal behavior is overfamiliar. We each need to know what to expect - and since it;s their country - travelers need to adapt - by greeting people when they enter a store or restaurant and starting a conversation with good morning or evening or excuse me, do you speak english. Also many americans tend to speak quite loudly - and this should be toned down - or we can sound like kids using their "outdoor" voices.

Same post from a first-timer on TA today, also; her name there is "Laura". Hmmmmmm.

I've been to France only once, perhaps because I thought the people would be rude.

However,I have been uniformly treated well in France, except for one waiter in Paris who thought I should be drinking wine. (I'm a non-drinker.) He really was pushy.

These types of "surveys,"or "polls," or whatever you want to call them, are IMO, useless and absurd.

StCirq: I couldn't agree more. And even if a survey were "accurate" and showed an unfriendly reception, I would take that as a challenge: "I will kill them with kindness".

Has Mr. Hollande's tax plan caused pain in the Dordogne?

We've made 3 trips - primarily to Paris - in the last 6 years and been treated very well. Only one waiter who chided us for not ordering wine with lunch. Our favorite experience was with a security man in a train station during the several day strike in October 2010. Many trains weren't running, but we wanted to take the train to Fontainebleau. We were having trouble purchasing our tickets, since the ticket windows for those trains were closed, our credit cards wouldn't work in the ticket machines, and we didn't have the correct cash for the machines. This lovely man went so far out of his way to help us that it really made our day.

I haven't been to the Dordogne, weber, since Hollande was eleccted, so can't really say, but I'll probably be back there before the end of the summer and will scope out the latest with the neighbors. We don't have a lot of French natives in that top tax category in the Dordogne, though, except maybe the guy who owns the Intgermarchés, the Bricomarchés, and Les Milandes. He might be experiencing some pain.

I didn't bother to read the links/studies.. they are silly. I find it offensive that some people want everything to be the same as at home and are offended when its not. The french are more formal and more polite then many other nationalities.. they do not grin and chatter away to strangers as easily,, and the waiter is not " hi I'm Bob your waiter" gushy,,thank goodness.. I prefer the professional service in France to overly familiar servers in other places.. case in point, when my mother died I had to shop for a black dress. the shopgirl in my city was really frigging annoyingly perky and chatty,, how ya doing,, where are you going, etc,, I did NOT want to interact with her at all, but she seemed oblivious to my body language and didn't pick up on my short answers.. and I was not interested in telling her anything.
My french(including Parisiene)relatives are warm kind people,,and they are not rude or cold at all, but sorry, yes, they are more reserved with strangers,, get over yourselves,,not everyone feels the need to be your buddies..

What if you move there, should one learn the language?

Why, if you moved there, would you even contemplate doing so if you didn't speak the language?

Unless you're a Trappist monk, what possible point is there moving somewhere you can't communicate with anyone?

HI M,

The attitude of the French (mostly) has changed greatly from what it was a generation ago. On my last visit, I even had the surprising experience of having a gentleman walk me to the place I was seeking.

A far cry from my first visit in the late sixties.

Why, if you moved there, would you even contemplate doing so if you didn't speak the language?

Unless you're a Trappist monk, what possible point is there moving somewhere you can't communicate with anyone?>

what about the zillions of Brits who flock to second homes in France - how many of them speak any French at all?

"how many of them speak any French at all?"

I've never met one of these monoglots Americans are always yammering on about.

Nor has a single Frenchperson I've ever encountered. Their whinge is mostly about the Englishman who runs the local bar or restaurant (the one the French couldn't be arsed keeping alive), employs only his English nieces (because there aren't any French kids left in Colombey les deux Pissoirs) and now has the cheek to run for the local council.

You try running a business in France without speaking French. Never mind standing for public office.

"Colombey les deux Pissoirs"
What's the French for "LMAO?"

I can't tell you how many times I've been asked by Americans, when they learn I lived in France, "Oh, did you learn French while you were there?"

Uh, no. I wouldn't have moved there in the first place had I not spoken French.

Uh, no. I wouldn't have moved there in the first place had I not spoken French.>

zillions of Brits however have 2nd houses or move to romantic parts of France without speaking any meaningful French IME.

I live in a big world city with people from all over, and we generally get along, but we don't expect everyone we meet to treat us as their new best friend>>

lol, Patrick, when I lived in London, I would cut a swathe through the tourists wandering down Oxford Street and getting in my way without a 2nd thought [except "these bloody tourists!] - I've never been treated like that in Paris.

I have usually been treated with the utmost courtesy in France and when I'm not, I generally put it down to their having got out of the wrong side of the "lit".

as for people moving to France without speaking French, of course there will be a few, but unlike with those who move to Spain who do so for other reasons, most brits move to France because they love the place and want to be part of the culture; therefore learning the language is a natural and obvious thing to do.

most brits move to France because they love the place and want to be part of the culture;>

so they find the French culture more to their liking than the one back home?

Naw I think they move there for the weather - many go south and for what I call patronizing views of the French culture - in small villages with a lifestyle long gone from most of France - where they can revel in small talk and small negotiations over buying bread and meat, etc.

Some of the books I've seen about Brits in France rather make me ill - the patronizing way they look at local French life - in small villages that are in no way representative of France as a whole - a Year in Provence is a good exemplar of that. Haughty British treating the rural French like school kids.

It's kinda funny, but I have to agree with tomboy. While I never felt the French were rude to me, just sort of indifferent, more recently I'm finding that I'm treated with greater regard. Of course, I've learned a lot. Always greet the shop-people with hello madame (monsieur), offer a greeting and excuse me before asking a question, don't behave as if you've known them forever, no touching, forget "comment ca va." Maybe it's a generational thing. Younger people don't remember the war. When I traveled with my ancient mom, the French fell all over me being, not just polite, but actually nice and solicitous. I'm going to live in Paris when I get old. Older.

Some of the books I've seen about Brits in France rather make me ill - the patronizing way they look at local French life - in small villages that are in no way representative of France as a whole - a Year in Provence is a good exemplar of that. Haughty British treating the rural French like school kids.>>

well, Pal, I've read many books about brits moving to France, and most of them are mainly about the mistakes they have made and how lovely and accommodating the french have been despite their faux pas. IMO Mr. Mayle is the exception rather than the rule.

We just came back from Provence and Paris.

Amazing what "hello", "goodbye", "thank you" and "your welcome" in French does to their tone.

And if you forget to start with "hello" they keep repeating it until you catch on and say "hello".

Everybody wwas friendly. We had no problems and no complaints.

We have experienced the most unique and unexpected kindnesses during our visits to France; I might say, in retrospect, perhaps more so in France than anywhere else we have travelled.

I would use the word 'dignified' rather than formal, and completely personable, to describe the people that we encountered.

Everyone is a citizen of two countries, their own and France. 'Nuff said.

A lot of British people who move to the French countryside say they do it because it is like how England was 50 years ago!

A lot of British people who move to the French countryside say they do it because it is like how England was 50 years ago!>

exactly the patronizing attitude I was speaking of - France is just as modern as Britain if not more so. If Brits sought out small towns in saw Scotland they also would see an England of 50 years ago.

Yup Brits think the French quaint and backwards.

I don't think they're being patronising. I think it is more to do with the fact they find the French countryside more unspoilt than the English countryside. Perhaps the lifestyle there is more relaxed. Certainly the price of property used to be lower in France than in England but I don't know if that is still the case. Not sure what you mean about the Scots towns though.

Palenq I am not quite sure what you are getting at. Is there something wrong with liking the "small village" life?

If I go to southern Italy, is it patronizing or maybe I am romanticizing, if I find the pastoral, slower pace of life a diversion from the frenetic pace we keep here at home?

Should I instead focus on the fact that the economy is depressed, the food is "cucina povere", there is a man who lives in a house outside of Martina Franca whose job it is to crank down the gates each time the train comes by?

It's not indicative of the culture of the country as a whole, and I think we all realize that, but we can find charm in their culture when we visit.

Am I being patronizing? (Or should I take the "I" out of this for fear of being pummeled?)
A genuine question....

>>If Brits sought out small towns in saw Scotland they also would see an England of 50 years ago.<<

The inhabitants of both small and large towns in Scotland include a proportion of Brits that PQ might find surprisingly high (until he thinks about it a bit); but I take his general point. Many small towns in Scotland, and indeed in England, do feel as though 50 years haven't gone by yet, and not just on Sunday afternoons.

sunbaked - Yes you are right - it's just that when I see shows or read books by Brits in France (or tuscany) they seem to be laughing at the locals and how quaint they are. Rich Brits buy up the town and locals become servents carrying out quaint tasks - like gardening or re-modeling houses, etc. No doubt great for keeping villages alive but as British villages not French - French only in looks and yes a feel of years ago because the rich Brits can afford to keep it that way.

Rich Brits buy up the town and locals become servents carrying out quaint tasks - like gardening or re-modeling houses, etc.>>

well, i don't quite agree with your point of view, but unlike many of the locals they like buying old houses, they provide work for the locals, and in some villages in Brittany for example, they are all that is keeping village schools going. [according to a piece i heard on the Today Prog about a year ago, when they were interviewing a Brit who had become mayor of his commune].

I suppose that you object to that too, Pal!

Pal: Okay, I see what you mean.

In some ways, it's similar to Mexico, where I think tourism has changed the culture.

Having visited Playa del Carmen years ago when it was a sleepy fishing village, and then as time has gone by and many cruise ships have come and gone, there seems to me to be a fundamental shift in values, more Americanized, you might say.

And it really irks me to see tourists treating the Mexican people like peasants/slaves from time to time.

But then, values in society in general have changed, and I guess one could also argue the pros and cons of tourism.

I suppose that you object to that too, Pal!>

No I do not and I note that one character from Coronation Street moved to Brittany I believe and opened a bakery, of all things.

And yes it does save these villages - note that many French also buy second houses in such villages - and I think the French village is about as nice towns - looking that is - as anywhere in Europe - no wonder so many want to live in those dreamy places where life is slower and safe.

So no I am not against it - just the attitude I read about in books and hear on TV shows comes across as kind of haughty - superior attitude to dumb locals.

Actually it's ironic that the French and English get along so well, like in the Brittany village.

All my French friends and in-laws constantly mock the British as being nerdish - over and over - laughing at their 'quaint' ways so it is ironic they get along so well.

Money talks.

My DH and I spent three weeks in France last summer in France, Provence and the Riviera. We interacted with many wonderful French people, and with the exception of two men (who I think were somewhat mentally imbalanced), everyone was very kind to us.

I agree that taking the time to greet people when you enter their establishment goes a long way, as do all the other small polite gestures. Most people were also very accepting of my attempts to use my schoolroom French.

The French, like everyone else, appreciate being treated respectfully. They are not overly familiar but they are friendly when you attempt to do things according to what's expected.

Ha! I don't think the French would put up with being treated by the British as dumb locals for one minute! I suppose British humour can come across as sarcastic sometimes.

I don't think the French would put up with being treated by the British as dumb locals for one minute!3

No, they'd rather treat the British as dumb foreigners.

All my French friends and in-laws constantly mock the British as being nerdish - over and over - laughing at their 'quaint' ways so it is ironic they get along so well.>>

mmm - who is exploiting whom, i wonder?

Just got back from two weeks in France and everyone that we encountered was wonderful. I am not very fluent in French, but I did know enough to greet everyone and at least try some of their language. Wonderful country, wonderful food and great wine!

I've been to France a few times, to Paris and elsewhere. I agree with the comments that big-city people (Parisians) will be cooler than people elsewhere. One thing that I've noticed is that if you know the customs, it avoids situations where you think that they are rude. For example, any restaurant with outside tables which are set with glasses and silverware reserves them for people who eat: you can't just drink a glass there. For the French, this is self-evident and they think YOU are rude for blocking their best tables, and will ask you to move. First, learn the local customs, then you'll be able to swim with the flow.

annhig - I should add that I do not share the mocking feelings for Brits that it seems most of the French folks I know have. I constantly upbraid them for their misconceptions about Brits.

I should add that I do not share the mocking feelings for Brits that it seems most of the French folks I know have. I constantly upbraid them for their misconceptions about Brits.>>

phew, Pal, that's a relief.

Don't worry PalenQ, plenty of Brits love taking the piss out of the French too!