French Wedding

Old Mar 19th, 2017, 04:08 AM
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French Wedding

Hi

I might be going to my friend's cousin's wedding in France. I don't know the couple but want to give them a gift if I do go.

What would you suggest please?
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Old Mar 19th, 2017, 04:47 AM
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I don't know if your friend's cousin do it, but in France, weddings often have a Gift List website, that means the couple put up their List of needs on a shopping website, then friends and family can go there and pay for what they like to offer, among the List.

Otherwise you can ask your friend to see if the couple needs anything. Without knowing their need, it's difficult to advise. For example, you can partake with your friend and other people to buy some big meaningful household stuff for the couple: television, ipad, furniture,...

Otherwise, gift card, shopping card, spa card, travel cards,... are all good ideas. But it'll help to know the preference of the couple.
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Old Mar 19th, 2017, 08:03 AM
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What would you give a friend's cousin in your home town? There's no difference simply because they are French.
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Old Mar 19th, 2017, 08:05 AM
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Nah. French don't like to be given a machine gun for their wedding.

the wedding site is more and more used - or they may do like in Belgium and have a bankaccount for the wedding, usually financing the honeymoon.
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Old Mar 19th, 2017, 08:31 AM
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You could ask your friend for advice.
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Old Mar 19th, 2017, 09:31 PM
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Better yet - ask your friend's mother...
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Old Mar 20th, 2017, 06:21 PM
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Thanks all for your replies.

I know my friend will say not to bother getting a present but I'd feel strange going without one.

My friend's mum is French and lives in France. My friend & I live in England.

A machine gun won't fit in my bag anyhow.
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Old Mar 21st, 2017, 08:11 AM
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I've yet to see any bride or groom who refuses a card in an envelope with money in it.
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Old Mar 21st, 2017, 08:25 AM
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I think giving them cash would be tacky beyond belief. How much cash would a total stranger give someone for a wedding, anyway, just because they were a visitor and ended up being invited out of politeness, I suppose. Handing someone 20 euro sounds crass to me.
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Old Mar 21st, 2017, 08:51 AM
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I don't think you can go wrong with a nice bottle of champagne, cognac, armagnac, local eau de vie or apéritif, or something like that.
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Old Mar 21st, 2017, 11:15 AM
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>>Handing someone 20 euro sounds crass to me.
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Old Mar 21st, 2017, 12:40 PM
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Cash, quite a bit of it, certainly changed hands at the last two weddings I've been to in France. I wouldn't feel very comfortable with it, but apparently a lot of French do.
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Old Mar 21st, 2017, 02:15 PM
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Christina, what you 'think' would be 'tacky beyond belief' is not important. What is acceptable to the bride and groom is what matters.

What's more, I suspect that even in your neck of the woods, cash is acceptable. Perhaps you might want to do some reading on the subject before commenting on my comment.

https://www.google.ca/webhp?sourceid...at+weddings.&*

StCirq, apparently a lot of people are comfortable with it, not only in France.

Also, for a traveller, it makes perfect sense even from a practical viewpoint. Try going through airport security these days with a gift wrapped electric toaster, etc. LOL

I suspect that anyone suggesting cash is not acceptable, is showing their age rather than their knowledge of current wedding etiquette.
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Old Mar 21st, 2017, 03:24 PM
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Giving cash in Belgium at a wedding is crass.
I am going to a wedding next month.
Do I have to show my age or can some just refrain from giving advice based on hot air ?
Do you think French are so different from Belgians ?
I went to weddings in france and giving cash was crass.
I guess it still is.
Unless some US guy who has probably never been to a wedding says differently.
Someone who knows. Behind a screen.
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Old Mar 21st, 2017, 03:40 PM
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At least among people I know, a gift of cash (usually in the form of a check) is a very common wedding gift. We have discussed this here on Fodor's, and customs vary by region even within the US.
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Old Mar 21st, 2017, 03:40 PM
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What kind of price range are you thinking of?

A set of really nice linen/cloth napkins. Pretty, useful, practical, easy to pack, not "too much" for someone you don't know.
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Old Mar 21st, 2017, 08:46 PM
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Well WoinParis, perhaps you too should have read some of the links from the one I gave above. If you had, you would find that cash is indeed not uncommon. Read this link for example.

https://www.reddit.com/r/france/comm...money_to_give/

Perhaps you should refrain from giving advise based on your single view and do some research before commenting.

As for age, someone could be too old to realize the times they have changed or too young to realize they don't know as much as they think they do. I make no judgement as to which shoe fits anyone in particular.
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Old Mar 21st, 2017, 10:51 PM
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I never read links posted by strangers.
I never read links in English regarding French customs and habbits as with my old age I risk losing teeth laughing out loud.
I guess you can it arrogance : i consider I know better what relates to us than what some foreigner who lives 10000 kms away posts after spending 4 days on the ground or worse after reading what a guy who spent 4 days on the ground tells people having never traveled how things are in onés country.
Put it in my old age : I have seen it I have lived it.
I got married myself in Belgium I have been to weddings in france.
Giving cash is crass. But yes some crass people will find it nice. Both giving and receiving.
Thank God I never went to such weddings.
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Old Mar 25th, 2017, 12:40 PM
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I attended two weddings last summer. One was Cambodian/Canadian and the other Italian. Both couples let us know that any gifts would be great but cash (cheque) would be very much appreciated. I don't think it's at all crass.
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Old Mar 25th, 2017, 12:51 PM
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Cash is perfectably acceptable and appreciated by young couples these days.

In Chinese weddings it has long been a tradition, given in red envelopes.
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