Feeling Guilty About Trip?

I've felt guilty about every trip I've taken. I doubt if our two children will ever get to go abroad-they have young families and don't make that kind of money. They didn't go after finishing college, backpacking as many do. On the other hand, I'm very frugal and always plan my spending in terms of how much a trip costs as opposed to a new car, haircare, movies, etc. We try not to mantion our plans except to a few good friens who also have the travel bug. Go and enjoy!

No guilt-and I travel to Europe 3 times per year. I think most everyone has a love of something they spend their money on. Mine happens to be traveling and my husband's weakness is cars and motorcycles and tractors.

Nope, I have never felt guilty about a trip. But I'm self supporting with a small extended family and no dependents of my own. I'm not sure why you're feeling bad

Yes I am feeling very guilty and somewhat fearful about our upcoming trip to Spain - given the economy. That said I booked the flights several months ago and we will be meeting up with our daugter who has been studying abroad. I am telling almost no one about the trip except for a few close friends. At least at the moment the dollar has been stronger than it was. Let's hope it holds until the end of January when we travel.

Have a great trip and enjoy - travel feeds the soul.

The President and leading economists are begging those who can safely spend, to do so. The worst thing would be for everyone to pull in their spending. The economy would collapse. The $600B>>$800B>>$1Trillion stimulus package is designed to compensate for those who are afraid to spend (perhaps for good reason). You are being downright patriotic.

Regards, Gary

Gary

Another reason to travel-we are helping the economy! I am flying on American owned planes.

I feel the same way. I've taken a trip every fall since 2005, all of them abroad except one. I didn't used to feel guilty. I'm a single female in my 30's with the lowest income among my girlfriends. I have a travel fund I consistently contribute to and my trips are paid for before I go - it doesn't go on credit.

I can't count the number of times my friends have planned a group trip only to back out once it becomes clear I'm the only one who has saved any money. It's happened again and so I'm thinking about putting my savings toward my first solo trip. I found a great deal on a flight to Spain. I don't want to tell anyone and even have this notion of saying I'm going out of town on a work trip and go without anyone having an idea.

Maybe it's not guilt so much as not wanting to have to answer all the questions I'm sure to get from both family and friends. Even my coworkers have made cracks about how I could afford my most recent trip. And now there'll be all the questions about why I'm flying solo this time.

To me, life is short. I want to explore as much of this world as I can, and who knows how long I'll be able to. As long as I can afford to travel without causing too much budgeting stress, I will.

I know what you mean.
Sometimes I feel guilty because of family "pressure" - we travel approximately twice per year to see our parents, but every time we go on a bigger trip (usually every other year) we feel like we should be going to see them instead. In fact my dad (who hasn't taken the one hour flight to visit me in over 12 years) has even said so - "you seem to find the money and time to go to Europe but not to come and see us".

But I REALLY feel guilty about this next trip - I am going to England in less than three weeks, without my husband. I went less than a year ago to London. And I'm currently unemployed (although that will change in late Feb I believe). I have spent the extra money to bump up my points so I can go business class and I've got a good PL rate for a 5* in Mayfair... so I'm not even going cheaply, and it's not the best time for us economically. But I have had a miserable, stressful year, and I have to have a little surgery in February/March, and I NEED this getaway desperately. Luckily my husband is supportive. However, my guilt is weighing so heavily on me that I haven't been able to bring myself to tell my parents and sister that I am going...

Unless you are expecting someone else to support you how you spend your money is your business and not anyone elses zwho. That has always been my thinking and it will continue to be my thinking. I don't critique and worry about how others spend their money and don't worry about what they think about my financial decisions. Go and enjoy!

Zwho: I just have to add my two cents to this discussion. I agree with other posters that it is your business how you spend your money.'

But think, also, about how much you learn on a trip to another country, about how you are adding to your own knowledge about other cultures and people, and how that experience can result in change and growth in you, which in turn can help others in your family and your circle of friends.

Sounds like a downright mandate to me, for personal growth.

I see that happening to fodorites all the time, just by reading their travel inquiries and their incredible travel reports.

I'm older, and want to keep traveling. We haven't done much since last Christmas in Oaxaca, and I hope to go to California in February and Italy in September.

We haven't got much money left at the moment, and income is down, but going on the cheap is an option we can use, and it can be fun. If you can manage business class, go for it. That's what I'd do, and hope to do again.

Keep on traveling and keep on learning and growing.

You guys are making me feel a little better. Atleast I know I'm not alone. I have stated on this board that I am a Fodors addict, which means I'm also a travel fanatic. I love it, and it's what I would rather do over anything except maybe spending time with my kids. I even get s#$% from them about it. I said I'm saving so next year I can take everyone to Spain for a trip and my newly married, financially strapped son says, " why don't you just give us what you would spend taking us on your trip". No way! Let them quit smoking and buying Big Gulps everyday! I'm saving to take them with me!

Each one decides what is of value worth spending money. The value of trips increased significantly for me after a health scare. After spending two years not knowing if I could travel again, every chance to travel abroad is a not-to-be-missed opportunity.

I have a colleague at work thinking about postponing his first trip to Italy this year due to the economic uncertainty. He has not had a health scare, so the value of ability to travel physically remains out of this mind.

When I hear one thing old people regretted was not having taken more risks when they were young, I know I am on the right track.

I'm with LI; if you meet your responsibilities and aren't expecting others to foot the bill, it's no one else's business.

Taggie, I'm surprised your father doesn't know the planes fly in both directions, something worth reminding him when he complains you visit Europe instead!

We have friends who take incredible trips every year--they're off to Egypt and Africa for a month right now; they've been to Antarctica, Easter Island, Russia, Panama Canal, Alaska, Korea/Asia, South America--not even getting into European travels. They work hard as MDs, but they value travel and time off more than just about anything. Some of their trips are as ship docs (adventure cruises, not the big ships), so they work their way, but otherwise they use miles, and then earn the dough for the rest.

I'm sure people wonder and make comments about their trips, but I've seen first hand how frugal they are--she buys her clothes at thrift shops (she can get away with it, working in a very casual chemical dependency clinic), they saved enough to install solar and get off the grid, they grow some of their food -- they live well but as frugally as anyone I've known. They highly value their travel, and they subordinate other expenditures to support it, without guilt.

When I had the guilt factor was when we went on a long overdue and much needed vacation (we are both in health care and get little time off) and arrived at our respite place, Lake Como, only to watch in horror as Hurricane Katrina unfolded--on the news, in the papers, etc. It was horrible to think about what people were going through. We sent money to Red Cross and tried to have as restorative a trip as possible (also it was going to be our last one until this last September!), knowing we would be back in the trenches in a couple of short weeks.

LoveItaly said it best. I don't justify my spending to anyone. When "they" (whoever they are) pay my bills, they get to have a say in what I spend.

I live in a tourist destination & daily I see frail, doddering elderly people going on their "trip of a lifetime". The trouble is, they would have enjoyed it so much more when they were 20 years younger & healthier.

What exactly is it you're feeling guilty about? The spending or the visibility of the consumption?

If you're spending within your means, that's nobody's business but yours. If you're spending what other people might have a legitimate claim on, that's rather different, but I doubt if that applies to many people.

If you're just worried about being seen to find a way to enjoy yourself when others can't, that's more complicated. But as long as you're not swanking about it every five minutes, it really shouldn't be anything to feel guilty about.

Sitting at home doing b-all so you can feel superior in your misery, on the other hand, ought to be something to feel guilty about at the best of times, and especially now. But that sort of self-righteousness is sadly impervious.

We travel frequently to Europe, for vacation. It's something I can't seem to give up. We find low airfares usually or use FF miles. In France we'll stay in gites, and find B&B's in other locations. We're leaving for Ireland in mid January with very low priced tickets ($360 round trip). Still, I feel guilty, but that won't stop my addiction!

I'm trying to include our family in our travels, instead of them feeling left out. They know they can join us if possible. We've decided to bring each one of our grandchildren on a trip once. I want them to experience new cultures and find that they'll be able to do this on their own someday! We took our first grandson to France and Italy this past spring and it went very well!

In September his Mother wants to go with us. She has 3 children but her husband will pitch in more, and her in-laws will also help. All the kids are in school now so it's easier to leave them for 2 weeks, but we also took a short trip together when she had preschoolers. If it's important, there is a way to overcome the obstacles.

We felt SO guilty telling people we were going to Paris for Christmas/NYE. Even my 15 year old mentioned she felt it when telling her friends. I do understand what you mean. It was hard to try to explain we had a 5,000 credit on Airfrance that had to be used or lost by 1-2-09 - that the apartment had been paid for since last Feb. That our son's friend was paying his own way to get there... So I do understand.

We generally use miles, stay for free from points on Amex or Marriott ect and travel is a high priority.

Go and enjoy yourself.

More than guilt it's a tinge of discomfort.
If we view our trips as an investment in global relations and world diplomacy, maybe it becomes easier.

I don't see any reason to feel guilty because you can afford to take a trip. There are always people who can't afford to take a trip--at this moment in time there are more than there were a couple of years ago. I certainly wouldn't flaunt it in front of someone who can't afford a trip, but there's no more reason to feel guilty about traveling than there is about eating when there are people who don't get enough to eat around the world.

That doesn't mean that you shouldn't feel compassion for those who don't have as much as you do, or that you shouldn't be sensitive to their feelings. But guilty? No way.

I feel no guilt. I've been taking overseas trips, annually, since 1973, back in my freshman-university days, and this isn't the first recession that I've lived through.

Bottom line, life is short and tomorrow isn't promised to anyone. And I'm not totally planning my life around a recession if I don't have to.

So, my philosophy is that if one can budget in a trip without going without food, housing, and taking care of one's other financial obligations, then take the trip. Personally, I just came back from Buenos Aires a week ago. Instead of my normal 3-week vacation, at this time of the year, I took an 8-day vacation. But, it sure the heck was better than staying at home. I had a ball.

If it's going to be a financial strain, however, then don't take it.

And for those who are trying to dump guilt onto you, just ignore them. They're probably jealous and misery loves company.

My friends travel like I do, so we have no guilt when it comes to travel. We've, of course, had to cut back on our travel expenses like less shopping and sometimes a step or two down in accommodations, but we stayed in "flea bag" hotels all through our university years and most of our 20s and 30s anyhow. So, we can readopt. Smiles. So, go and have fun! Happy Travels!

Also, these people who try to dump guilt on those who travel have a lot of nerve.

I know folks who say that they wish they could travel, but don't have the money. Well, maybe it's because of the car payment on the BMW, Mercedes, Lexus, etc. Or because they spend all of their money running to Vegas every other month.

I just got a new car, a year ago, after 17 years of driving my old car. I bought a $21,000 car and paid cash and expect to keep it for at least 15 years. A car is a necessity here in L.A., but a super expensive one is not. But, to each his own. I don't down anyone for what he/she purchases, or how he/she spends his/her hard-earned money, as we all have different interests. Happy Travels!

Dancingqueen, if you do not mind a (very) unsolicited opinion , please try to feel that you deserve this wonderful opportunity to share Spain with your daughter. You have nothing to feel guilty about! I felt sad when I read your post. My "little one" lives 3,000 miles away and the trip we took to Italy with him after college graduation continues to be such a treasured memory.

Zwho is completely correct about yada yada yada and there are some things that should not be foregone or regretted or apologized for! Your trip is one of those things. Please do not waste one iota of the enjoyment that you and DD deserve. Buen viaje! I hope you like paella and Spanish tortilla is amazingly delicious, considering what a simple dish it is.

If you've got the time and money I don't see why you care what anyone else thinks. Honestly this is one of those life choices that is truly no ones business other than your own.

For lifeofmytimes, if you start traveling solo on a regular basis people get used to the idea (trust me on this one). But I would not sneak out of town, it's good for someone to know where you are when you're traveling abroad & on your own.

Realize that most non-traveling people just do not get the importance of traveling (as far as opinions of others). It's one of those things in life either you got the travel bug or you don't. I don't know why people want fancy cars, homes, furniture, clothes. They don't get why I'd spend my money to go traveling. I'm lucky in coming from a family of "gypsies" where everyone's always moved around a lot and traveled regularly, so they don't find it weird. They'd more be worried if I hadn't taken a big trip in a while!

suze

My son is going to buy me a tracking GPS so that he can follow my solo travels. He worries about me being alone. Many people do not understand the "solo" travel idea. I am just happy to travel alone or with others.

zwho
Where did you find such a neat cruise? Sounds great!

The very people who will make a remark are those that don't like to travel, or are afraid to leave home, or spend their money on other things.

If they don't understand the extreme joy you find in traveling, then there is no explaining it to them. If you find bargains and watch what you spend while traveling in Europe it isn't that expensive. I just wish that I had started traveling a lot sooner than I did.

Go and enjoy your trip and come home planning the next one.

We are having similar thoughts...should we spend the money and go or not? My rationalization is that 2009 is our 50th anniversary and we are still healthy & can get around easily. This is a special trip and I think we should treat ourselves. I don't want to delay and then realize years later that we should have gone when we had the opportunity. I'd rather spend it on us than leave it to an heir. We are generally careful with our expenditures so it's not as if we're tossing money to the wind. I just wish I could get air for less that $2k!

NO ONE is making me feel guilty. It's in my head. I know I'm lucky and don't want to flaunt my luck, or make someone feel badly or even worse, jealous. I'm good at finding deals and travel is so important to me. I'm probably transferring my feelings onto my friends, when they could care less! I'm like that with stuff they spend their $$ on that isn't important to me. The cruise I found is on Royal Carribbean.

Do not feel guilty!!!!

I am a very frugal person. I don't like jewelry all that much, I don't want a fancy car or fur coat, I am not a big spender. BUT, I love to go places and see new things. I really love to travel and would like to do more of it.
We have traveled many places on points for air tickets and points for hotels. My DH is not as much of a travel buff as I am, but has loved all of our trips.

I am concerned about the times. My DH's good friend at work was just let go. So, it does scare me what tomorrow will bring. Since DH had a heart attack this year, I haven't planned any trips. I am hoping to plan something for the summer. It is hard to not be planning like crazy. It is what I dream about.

Anyway, I say go for it and don't look back. Other people live beyond their means every day and are jealous of your travels. They just don't understand the need to see new things or lay on a beach once in awhile! I think it is a very important part of life.

I do not feel guilty about traveling. We all make choices of how to spend our money, and my husband and I choose to be very selective and careful about spending money. Our income, thank goodness, has not gone down, so we are not having to cut back.

This year we will have our 40th wedding anniversary and I want to be on a trip to celebrate the occasion. We need to make some decisions soon on where to go. I need to have a hip replacement and I'm thinking we will go on a trip first even though I won't be able to do everything. I will need some down time during the trip because of pain, but we will just move slower and not do marathon days. I find that a break now and then with a nice glass of wine can help relieve pain. When I do have the replacement, my traveling will stop for a while, but I will just have to deal with that.

So we are going to travel while we can and not care what other people think.

Susan, I know this is OT, but why not have the hip replacement first, and then travel? The recuperation time is not that long and you'll be so much better for it. I know 3 people who've had them done in the last couple of years, and they all say they should have done it sooner. P.s. My BIL, who had the procedure last year, traveled to Russia and Turkey this year.

Life is short. My mom passed away when she was fairly young, and although I certainly HOPE to live a long life, that isn't guaranteed. I hate it when I hear people say that they will travel "someday," "when the kids are older," or "after we retire." Unfortunately, no one is guaranteed a "someday."

I'm going NOW! Having said that, I do feel guilty sometimes, but I shouldn't.

Zwho - I also read that article about the naycation and I was so disgusted by the idea that I emailed the writer to tell him that people still want to travel and he should not focus on the negative. He responded very nicely saying he'd write something positive next time.

Now, I posted a question similar to yours a few weeks ago and the overwhelming response was to GO to hell with feeling guilty or anything else. If you still can't manage it, you could always tell people you won a sweepstakes prize!

Sorry, I just assumed you were catching 'attitude' from family and friends when you posted... "So why do I feel so guilty telling family & friends we're going?" I didn't realize that they weren't saying anything negative, that you were making it all up (lol).

Life is too short...GO! It's only money.

Go while you can still walk.

I don't feel guilty. I love to travel. It's my passion. I don't live extravagantly because I'd rather spend my money traveling. I don't need to justify to anyone what I spend my money on.

Is the economy bad? Sure. But I'm not going to be so scared that I stop doing the one thing I love to do.

I still save for retirement. I have emergency savings. I have long term savings. I'm not in debt except for my mortgage. I put aside money in my trip fund and when I've saved enough money I go.

Susan33-please consider going after the hip replacement. My dad had hip replacements and although he gets around slower, he said the relief from the pain was incredible. You might enjoy the trip more, pain free albeit slower.

I don't feel guilty about traveling, either. Even my husband, who can be quite frugal, and is a bit freaked out by the paper loss of our stocks, has no qualms about us paying to take 3 family vacations next year.

We can only travel with our teenagers now - they won't be teenagers in 10 years. Some of our best times as a family have been on our vacations.

My friends and family are used to hearing about us going away, so no one really makes comments. But, truthfully, it wouldn't bother me at all if they did.

My sentiments are that you travel while you can. We've been to France and Italy 5 times since 2003, and although we have had to cancel our much anticipated trip this August/September to France(the economy), we'll plan for next year. Since we're basically retired,we've taken a big hit with the market. If I could go, I would, but, unfortunately, reality is, what it is. Hopefully, next year, we're going for it. I'd give up almost anything else, to travel. I think most on this board feel the same. As for other people, and what they say, let them keep guessing how you do it, it's none of their business anyway, unless of course, they're paying for it. I wish, we had travelled more, certainly not less!! Have a great trip!!

My only guilt is regarding the limited resources I am using. But I don't use very many at home, where I spent the majority of my time.

I think it's a good idea not to broadcast trips or other extravagant expenditures when in the company of others who could never afford whatever it is you are talking about.

Happy guilt-free travels to you all.

We never feel guilty about our trips.

Do people always tell their family about the trips they take?

We don't.

Plan as well as you can. Live as well as you can. Then you shall have no regrets.

All my friends also travel, maybe that's the difference.

stw - we don't either. It is just easier that way.

I have noticed that the people who are crass enough to say "Must be nice!" when I mention my traveling are the ones who belong to the country club with the outrageous fees, dock their boats at their summer homes, or drive to Biloxi frequently to gamble!

Go, enjoy, live YOUR life and live it abundantly.

I agree about not feeling guilty, but also not talking too much about trips to people who definitely can't afford to travel.

We have quite a few family members and friends who are living pretty close to the financial edge, so we just don't talk much about trips when we get together with them. We wait to talk about travel with friends and family who really are interested.

The one exception is my great-aunt - she is too frail to travel much now and doesn't have much money to spare anyway, but LOVES to hear about our trips. And she tells me to take all the trips we can because she and my uncle always waited until retirement for their travel, but they only had a few years of retirement before my uncle lost his eyesight, which ended travel for them for the most part.

I understand how you feel -- I have been feeling insanely guilty about our upcoming trip to Thailand, Laos and Cambodia. Every time I tell someone I get "the look" -- and frankly, I give myself "the look" internally a few times a day.
It's interesting as I rarely book as far ahead as I did this year, so I had paid for my tickets as Lehmans was crumbling and the bailout was being cobbled together. I live near NYC and know a lot of people affected directly by what has happened on Wall Street. Some of my customers lost jobs.
But -- I had planned the trip to visit a charity I have given small amounts to over the years -- and I had promised them and another charity $$ and a visit this year -- so how to say no? It puts it all in perspective for me that one of my pledges is going to employ computer teachers for a year, another will send a hospitality student to school for a term -- all for less than my property taxes are a month. I think the trip is going to give me some very real perspective -- I know how I felt after my first trip to Asia in 2000.
So, do I find myself saying things like "the flight is non-refundable" and "now I can't cancel the hotels" -- yes. Will I shop less on the trip? Undoubtedly. Will I soak it all up like a sponge to savor for a long time when I return? I think so.

I recommend that anyone who is feeling guilty about traveling go type in the name "Degas" into the search box and read the thread, "Live Forever". Here is someone, one of our own, who is facing some serious times...he says,

"I guess my point is to not delay or put off things. Live your dream. Don't wait. Take a little more risk. Go on that trip to Paris. Apply for that job in another city. Take up that new hobby. Pick up the phone and call an old friend or relative. Most of my regrets are about not having done something."

That really turned my attitude around!

My husband and I married 'late' - in our 40s, and we agreed that wanted the fabric of our lives to be woven with remembrances of a perfect sunrise, a beautiful walk in the mountains, a delectable meal, the small villages we've seen. We didn't want memories like "remember when we had the kitchen wallpapered". We've been true to our intentions and at 19 years this year, absolutely no regrets. Haven't been everywhere, but we've done pretty well. We think that people who choose to own a Hummer, or insanely expensive house, or who have too many children at the expense of travel are more than a little odd. At the moment we need gutters for our now 112 year old house and a few other things, but I'm turning 60 and intend to snorkle the Great Barrier Reef, so the hell with gutters. You own noone an explanation for how you spend your hard earned cash. What's that expression....dance like noone's watching..that's what I'm doing!

hah! oliverandharry--you are soooo right! My DH and I had a similar philosophy. We'd say, well what will it be this year? replace the old (chocolate brown shag) carpeting (or refurbish the bathroom--or whatever) or go to (Europe, Scandinavia, whatever) and 'go to' always won the day. Our Dear Son got an education about the world and believe me, he never ever says, "I wish our house had better carpets when I was growing up".

and zwho-- you don't owe anybody an explanation about your choices. Anyone who really knows and cares about you already understands, and why on earth do you care about what anyone else thinks? Knock it off. One thing I've learned in my long time on this earth is that NOBODY is thinking about you as much as you think they are. Go. Have a good time.

In a word...no.

So many people, for so long, at so many times in my life, have questioned why I spend time and money traveling...I question their outlays of money, too.

We do what we can do within reason within our own budgets and within our own frames of desire. My desire is to travel as much as I can, experience as many things as I can, pack as much into my lifetime as is humanly possible.

If you want to stay home and watch the telly and knit, do it. Just don't tell me what I should do. I won't listen, anyway. I've always forged my own path in the world and it's certainly been at odds with the paths of others in my life, and I don't care. I gotta do it. Enough said.

zwho and everyone:


You know my attitude abut guilt and travel, Zwho...we discussed it when we all had breakfast together in L.A. To sum up, as you and Jerry were about to leave on a cruise, I said..."keep on travelin' friends..don't ever look back. "

The attitude spelled out so succinctly by my dear friend LoveItaly (above) says it all...it's your money and you can spend it any way you want to...put it in a tin can and bury it in the back yard, wallpaper the bathroom with it, take flying lessons or travel. Guilt, be damned!

OK everyone, one more time.."keep on travelin' and keep on
truckin' !!"

stu t.

This thread is bringing tears to my eyes!

OliverandHarry--"remember when we wallpapered the kitchen..." Exactly! Not much of a memory.

Great thread. Really does ring bells for people, as many of us have struggled with this.

My $.02--
1. Foreign travel is more "conspicuous consumption" to friends and family and co-workers than other things people may spend similar amounts of money on. You usually can't just quietly leave the country so it gives people more opportunity to have an opinion about your choices. In wealthy countries we are always making choices that could be second-guessed. We could all (not just foreign travelers) feel guilty about how much money we spend and waste when there are people in so much need. (Should we really go out to dinner or the movies? Maybe we should stay home and send that money to the homeless shelter...) It is an ancient dilemma, but I've come to peace with giving some of my money to charities and using some of it to travel.

2. People who don't travel don't understand why you want to do it and don't value it in the same way you do. I remember when I was about 22, I used National Geographic maps to basically wallpaper my room. A friend asked why I did that and my reply was that I liked to look at all the places I might go someday. He said he had no interest at all in traveling outside the US and I couldn't understand him any more than he could understand me.

3. For people who do want to travel, but don't think they can afford it and so seem sad or a tad judgmental when they hear of your plans....tell them you will be sincerely glad to use your traveling expertise to help them figure out a way to go somewhere, figure out budgets, etc. They probably won't take you up on it, but then you won't feel as guilty about you being able to go on a trip and them not.

4. Exposure to other cultures does have many personal growth elements, but also when more people think of themselves as citizens of the World rather than just of their Nation we will have a more progressive planet. Young people who have traveled will have a different focus when they take over governing this world...and that is one reason I'm so glad to have a new US president who is so comfortable traveling in the world and in other cultures.

5. I'm all in with the people who say "seize the day"...I've managed to travel a lot and have taken my family lots of places they've never been and wouldn't have gone without my juice...wonderful memories but now my husband is having some health issues which may curtail some of his traveling...He's always been a great, game traveler. I'm grateful for all the places we've gone together but now for a real guilt trip (!) I've lately started thinking about the possibilities of me traveling alone if he can't manage it at some point. Is that terrible? I actually really enjoyed traveling alone when I was young, but it somehow seems so disloyal to contemplate taking a trip without my husband that I know he would love. I have never talked to him about the possibility and we aren't there yet...but some trips I want to do will probably not realistically be possible for him. So do I not do them and accept the reality of our changed circumstance and plan travel that he can do, given a travel budget that is not unlimited? Anyway, this is where my guilt thoughts are falling in right now!

I'm under the impression economists are urging people to stimulate the economy by spending money. It's the people who aren't spending who should examine their consciences!

I am so thankful for this thread today. I may actually have tears in my eyes.

Hubby and I are in our early thirties and for the past 5 years, have traveled extensively, both within the States and overseas to many countries and continents. We LIVE for travel. I work in travel. I LIIIIIVE for travel. My family thinks we're nuts; they wonder where I came from, as they are happy sitting home. My friends scoff because they either don't understand or don't really get our priorities or can't figure it out for themselves.

I am thankful for this website, and for my colleagues, as we're all in the same boat.

I'm so sick and tired of feeling bad (either by hearing "must be nice!", or "rough life", or just my own self-inflicted guilt) for working my ass off and playing just as hard, in the form of travel.

So thank you, to all of you.

Where is it written that we all must be miserable? Who has decreed that to be accepted in society we must all agree to have 2.5 children, live in cookie cutter houses, work at jobs we dislike and never vacation. Everyone who has commented on this thread has had it said to them at least once: "must be nice!" And I would offer there is only one appropriate response to that: "Yes, it is."

Just keep in mind that there's a difference between being guilt-tripped and feeling guilty. You can't control the former -- people will always try to makes themselves feel better by implying that you're just a lucky duck -- but you can control the latter by not taking it to heart! If travel is a priority in your life, then you're the only person who needs to understand what you've done to earn that privilege, whether that means scrimping, making sacrifices, or simply working your butt off.

BostonGal - you said the words right out of my mouth! Except for the fact that I don't work in the travel industry (but I'd love to!).

I am always planning that next trip or the one after, or trying to fit another one in between! I'm addicted and I can't stop. Thankfully I know I'm not alone!

I don't feel guilty that I travel a lot compared to friends and family, but at the same time I feel like I can't talk about it much. Some people get snippy with me like I'm bragging if I even mention I am going somewhere. Recently, I returned from a long weekend getaway and my co-workers never even acknowledged I was gone (there are only 4 of us in the office and they all knew I'd been planning this trip for a long time). So I just keep my travel plans to myself and hang out here on Fodors!

Folks might find this item amusing...I cut this out from some magazine a few years ago (don't know which one):

"No Place Like Roam"
Some people just can't stay put. They're only happy when heading away from home to exotic distant lands. Constantly fantasizing about the next adventure, their pulse begins to race the minute they book a plane ticket. Tension builds as they await departure, worried that something will delay their plane. Not until takeoff do these travel buffs feel truly at ease. It's not just a passion, say doctors; it's a disease.

Travel junkies are actually suffering from an impulse-control disorder called DROMOMANIA, says Dr. Thomas Stuttaford in the London Times. Like shoplifters and arsonists, who also suffer from impulse-control disorders, they feel a buildup of pressure that can only be relieved when their hunger for foreign lands is sated. Once back home, they can tolerate daily routines for awhile. But soon, "their eye will be caught by a gaudy travel poster, and the cycle will be repeated."

You must go! Please do not feel guilty for enjoying life!

I suspect you're not feeling guilty so much as uneasy. It is hard to go 'against the flow' as it were.

Suppose you had just lost your job but all your friends were going travelling, exclaiming "but life is short -- come on, you'll find a job when you get back!" Now, how would you feel about going travelling? True, you'd have the approval of your friends if you went, but would it have met the majority of your criteria for the best possible decision?

Why is it that every decision must be reduced down to right/wrong or good/evil or even just 'deserving of guilt/not deserving of guilt'? Few decisions in life are that straightforward, so if you're looking for total acceptance and no qualms, I think this is where you are raising the bar unreasonably high for yourself. Most times, the best you can hope for is the best possible decision as measured by the criteria that YOU have decided are important. Presumably the opinion of your friends, or for that matter people here at Fodor's, constitutes one factor to be considered in your decisions, but one hopes it is not the only factor.

My husband, who never has been without in his life, always worries about the cost of trips and everything else. I never do.

I always say, no one ever says on their deathbed, "I wish I traveled LESS."

I have been around a lot of dying people and they often shared how glad they were they took that "one last trip" before they got cancer.

gruezi

I sometimes feel guilty about traveling. I'm 22 year old college student who is also an only child. The last part usually sends up the flags for everyone and I start hearing all sorts of remarks. My parents aren't rich by any means, but there are no monetary problems in our family and they are responsible with what they do with their money. Right away after they got married they started investing for their future and the future of their children, which only ended up being one.

I was fortunate enough to study in Galway, Ireland last summer and then go on a tour with my parents. My friends all commented on me going abroad and how I was spoiled and have an easy life. I still work and respect money and and pay for most of my own things. But I don't make enough money to afford trips.

This summer I'll be teaching in Latvia and traveling to Lithuania and Ireland. My parents are paying for my flights and my tour in Ireland while I'll once again pay for any extra expenses that I may want to incur.

Sure I feel a little guilty for doing all this traveling, but then I realize that I'm young, the experience will look good for future employers, and I am fortunate enough to be recommended for this experience and have the funds available to do this.

It's your life, more than likely you'll regret not going if you let others talk you out of traveling. If they say anything bad about you traveling just tell them to join you and worry about the consequences when you get back. It may be a once in a lifetime event, so go for it.

DH and I were able to travel in the US, Canada and Mexico for many years, but with children and aging, ill parents, we were not able to travel elsewhere.
In 2003, after being a caregiver for my mom, and before that his mom, and having children who were finally adults, I took my first trip to Europe with friends. DH was thrilled I was going, I'd been pretty much confined to to my house for about 3 years. So, off I went and had a wonderful time. I've been every year since on the girl's trip, and DH and I have gone to Europe every other year. We still travel in the US, as our grandchildren are far flung.
These trips are not extravagant things, we plan carefully and use points and miles for the trips DH and I take. The girl trips are budget trips as well, shared rooms, not terribly expensive hotels, off-peak times.
There is a commercial for some tropical resort that has a song "some people wait a lifetime, for a moment like this." Every time I hear it I feel sad. So many people do wait, and then never get to go. Health, death, divorce, whatever, things happen and travel isn't always possible. It doesn't matter to some people that they've never left "home," never enjoyed a new culture, challenged themselves to get along in new places, tried all the food and experiences that are out there. But it sure does to me, and DH. Being fairly close to retirement age, we know that there are likely limited years when we'll be able to travel like we do now. We don't want the regrets of trips not taken, time not spent together.
We don't flaunt our trips, we don't take money from things we need, we do things for our children and grandchildren. And I have never spent one second feeling guilty.
I do most certainly feel bad for those in terrible financial circumstances. It could happen to us, too.
But I do not feel guilty.

I don't feel guilty. How one chooses to spend their money is their business. If others want to be jealous, that is their business, too.

That being said, I also don't see the need to dress up leisure travel as something it isn't. Most of us ain't saving babies by hopping on that plane to Paris. I'm not doing anybody but myself (and maybe the wife) any favors by traveling to Japan. And I'm not going to bother worrying about whether I live a financially prudent life (I probably don't), and somehow deserve a few indulgences. I simply don't need any justification for a trip other than, "I want to".

I don't even justify my trips to my husband...and he's the money maker.

I always say, no one ever says on their deathbed, "I wish I traveled LESS."

I know some consultants that would disagree with you.

Having just returned from a 12 day trip to Spain at the end of December, I WAS feeling a bit guilty. Then I read this great article from the Wall Street Journal:

http://sbk.online.wsj.com/article/SB123042464564937427.html

Good perspective on what we each CHOOSE to spend our time and money on.

I agree that if you can afford to go and you love to travel, don't feel guilty. If anyone asks you are doing your part to stimulate the economy.

For years I never went anywhere because I had two kids and they came first. Now it's all about me! Not really, but I do love to travel.

We all have things that we are willing to spend money on. Some gamble, some go out to eat every night-we like to travel.

Have fun!

No guilt here...can't afford a trip since fall of '07 {retail sucks right now} but I certainly can't begrudge those who are doing just what I would had I the means. Bon Voyage and take lots of pictures!

No guilt here. I am taking my first cruise (with many friends and family) for my birthday this spring and my sister and I are going to Japan in the fall. All booked and paid for. Plus DH and I will have a few trips to the States in between.

We have worked very hard to stay out of debt and we don't live a frivolous lifestyle. Should I feel guilty for that? As many have said here...everybody has their priorities. Mine just happens to be travel, while for some of my friends it's keeping up with the Joneses. Nothing wrong with that...just different preferences.

I felt guilty when I went to the Virgin Islands in November, but worse than that I felt nervous the world was going to collapse while I was there and I wouldn't be able to get home. I did not enjoy myself as much as I should have for that reason. That is a waste!! If you are going to go, make sure you can leave your negative feelings behind. There's no point spending the money if you can't relax and enjoy it. Also as far as telling other people... who cares what they think? You are not taking them with you, so their opinion doesn't really matter. IMHO

I wouldn't feel guilty. In fact I think those who stay home should be the guilty ones. To think they're wasting valuable paid vacation time to sit at home and do the same thing that they do any other day. What kind of vacation is that. Vacation time should be spent on vacation.
I am also a firm believer and try very hard to live by the rule "never turn down an opportunity that you may regret one day." This mainly after not going on a trip that was going to take me to New Orleans and New York before Katrina and the fall of the great Twin Towers. I missed out on two places that I will never be able to see again in all its glory. Though I can't complain too much because I went on a fantastic father/daughter trip instead, but you get the point.
And if all else fails, think about how you're actually helping the economy by spending your money. Your helping others to keep food on their table.
Happy traveling (and vacationing!)

No matter what you do/don't do, there will always be someone to try to hand you the guilt card. But if you turn the guilt card over to the side facing them you will see it reads 'jealous'. We just renovated 2 baths, have done nothing but replace a faucet since we built in '80. We are the last on the street upgrade. Yet at least 3 remarked that they wished they could afford to redo their baths. ?????

As was said, everyone chooses what to spend their money on, but those who are unsure/unhappy/insecure with their lives & choices want you and me do do the same thing and thereby validate their choices. Years ago a co-worker was making my guy feel guilty b/c I didn't have a fur coat. (We did attend numerous formal functions at the time.) I said I'd rather have a new motorcycle. I got new Suzuki!!!

No, I don't feel guilty. I had not traveled to Europe and Asia until I retired from 34 years of teaching. 6 trips to Europe and 3 to Asia since then plus Mexico, Costa Rica and Caribbean Islands. I plan to go on a Mexican Rivera in 2 weeks and a cruise out of Rome to the Eastern Mediterranean in Sept. I usually take one of my adult children with me. I tell them I am spending their money in this way. They do not seem to mind, and I feel it has definitely broadened their views of the world.
My car is old, and I could use new carpet in my house,but I had rather spend the money traveling before I am not able to do so.

I do not feel guilty about any of my trips and I have no problem telling anyone about my upcoming travels. I'm single, have a good job and have no dependents. My house payment is absurdly low and my cats will never want a car and will never want to go to college.

If you have 6 months of expenses saved (just in case that job disappears), can afford to take a vacation without tapping those emergency funds, and pay your bills in full and on time there should be no guilt. But, if you live above your means, like many of us have been doing for quite some time and have equity loans and credit card debt, then you shouldn't go. I hear from everyone that instead of travel, I should replace my 12 year old car and I, too need gutters on my house. I don't have a plasma TV (horrors!!) and I take my lunch to work and eat out rarely. My husband and I max out my Roth IRA and a 401K every year. (so we can travel even more when we are old!!)

We are off to South America this year - and I'm hoping to squeeze in a Zambian safari, too if I can scrape together the cash. We don't make a lot of money, but without travel, our lives would be so empty. So we make sacrifices that others will not make - instant gratification, you know. It's all about priorities. Maybe you feel a tinge of guilt because you have been responsible with your money and your friends and family have not.

Good points, christabir, if you come home to a pile of bills you can't pay or are ready to get evicted then I would say don't travel until you save up some money. But if you are stable financially, as much as anyone can be in these times, I say try to shake off the guilt and go.

You also can save and save and fret and then something may happen physically and then you really can't travel so the question would be moot. I have seen this happen too many times, people who either wait too long or just live an old trip over and over instead of going on a new one.

I suggest just think of yourself as a woman of the world and that you are visiting part of your domain.

I had a sister who always wanted to visit Paris - we live in the United States. Her husband was going to take her for their 25 wedding anniverary. She past away from cancer two weeks before the anniversary.

I am taking my daughter whos name is BRITTAIN to Britain for graduation partly because we have talked about this since she was born AND for my sister.

Life is a gift!!

I'm a single mother who teaches ( meaning POOR) but I have taken on a second job - we do without and have done what i needed to take this trip.

I have told people- too excited not but and EVERYONE has been thrilled for us.

Hope everyone finds a way to travel - safe and happy trips to you us all!!

Hello zwho and fellow travelers;
Here is my 2 cents. My hubby and I are in our early 60's, fairly fit with no other responsibilites(do have one son/stepson, daughter in law and 2 grown grandchilden, recently found which is a story in itself). Anyway, we all only have one go around and no one should feel guilty about traveling or doing that which gives them joy. Some people pour all of their time into family, which is great!!! others into making a difference, wonderful!!! However, at the end of the road, if you can say what a life and I have no regrets. More power to you. So enjoy without guilt and as Sinatra said "I did it my way"!!!!

Let's not feel guilty, just very fortunate and privileged that we can venture far and wide.

We could also feel guilty that we have anywhere from adequate to specatcular indoor plumbing facilities when well over a billion people do not.

Or feel guilty about a full tummy, made a little too rotund of a tummy, when many go hungry.

That closet full of clothes, even if they are not expensive, is lots more than the tattered rags many wear, so there's another source of guilt.

Lots and lots of happy guilt-free travels to you all in 2009 and beyond.

Remember the story about Mary Magdalene annointing Jesus feet with oil? Awesome that you care enough about the world, that you want to do something. Do it at some point, but not all the time. Guilt because you can't do it all, wash it away. Enjoy, make it a trip of a lifetime if you are going to go.

Went to France last year with spouse and two teens. Was told way too expensive, that we should wait. Trip of a lifetime, my kids will remember it forever, just like a special trip my parents took our family on, to the ancestral farm in Sweden back in the 1070s.

Due to the economy, I panicked and we canceled our dream trip to Italy in March fearing the economy.

We have been saving for over three years, had all of it covered in cash but we are already experiencing our credit lines being reduced and interest rates increased even with a 720+ credit scores.

I was afraid I get in an emergency situation and be stuck without any backup.

When my boss found out, he even threw in some cash as a "workaholic" bonus and said to live a little after I finished tax season.

Now I'm nervous about telling my staff since they all live on VERY tight budgets. I am even contemplating telling them I am driving home to visit my folks to avoid it. I don't want them to feel like I'm not sympathetic to their issues.

This economy has us all shivering in our boots.

I just saw this post while looking something up.

In order for the global economy to recover, we need to spend money. If you can afford it, and only if you can afford it, you should not feel guilty and go. Think of it as doing your part to help the economy.

Make sure you make suitable donations to those in need along the way.