I feel the same way, and now after last year's attacks, I will be even more fearful, but I just bought tickets to Europe for the Fall from the West Coast of USA, so even longer flight!
First of all, sit on the aisle, you have control of when you can stand up and walk around. Bring lots of water, and a xanax like pill, it takes the edge off. Bring a book that has life affirming statements that you can think about, or tapes/cds that do the same. Maybe a self help/motivational cd also, and some calming music that you love. Get out your travel books and plan and concentrate of what fun you will have after you arrive safely. Eat light food that you have brought along, so you don't have to fret about being served, etc. When you are served, just pick at what you want because you won't be starved. These all work to lessen the tension for me.

Lottie, those are all very good tips -- I think I'll use a few myself!

The best medication I could suggest would be Xanax. Works like a godsend. Sleeping pills did not work for me; they just made me sleepy, I needed something to calm my nerves. Music and reading never distracted me enough from the paralyzing fear I have but Xanax did. I take it 30 minutes before I board the flight. You have to get it prescribed from your doctor but you shouldn't have a problem with it, just tell him/her your symptoms.

I know that fear takes over but bring a good book and start reading it BEFORE your flight, that way you are looking forward to getting back to it.
Also, I find that Benadryl puts me out and makes me feel relaxed, particularly with a small amount of wine or any alcohol (remember minimal alcohol).
Keep your headphones on and listen to classical music and close your eyes and visualize your exciting destination or any calm setting.
Meditation and deep breathing are key.

Have a friend with total terror of flying - to the point she refused to
go on a plane anywhere. Doctor put
her on Paxil two weeks before she
flies and it works wonders. She
doesn't have any trouble when she
stops taking it (under doctor's
supervision) and she has no desire
to take it except for this particular
situation.

I take Zoloft about a week-two before the flight as I get terrible anxiety too. If it's that severe I would see a md for it, there's no reason to suffer like that. I used to stay in my seat too until I heard all the news about blood clots. Zanax is highly addictive and many doctors do not prescribe it anymore. I think something milder would do the trick.

I'm nervous about flying... take a pill.
I don't want to get blood clots ... take a pill.
I don't want jet lag...take a pill.

And on, and on . . .

xxx what do you care? MYOB when somebody wants to hear an uneducated smartass we'll be sure to come running for your input.

The Uncle Sam cure:

1. Get on the plane

2. Sit in your seat and say a prayer asking for God's travelling mercies.

3. Finish the prayer...relax and enjoy the flight. After all God is bigger than you are and more equipped to handle all the issues. Besides it's a lot easier if you know where you're going...understand what I mean?
And that makes it much easier to relax!

Advice from a 2,000,000 miler that used to be afraid before he figured out this simple little plan.

May actually be too simple for some folks to grab hold of though!

I found this book very helpful:

The Fearful Flyers Handbook

Personally, I found it much more helpful and useful than medication.

Ask your MD for Ativan (generic name lorazepam) Not as addicting or notorious as Xanax and more likely to be prescribed by your MD. Just tell him/her about your anxiety about flying and your upcoming flight and unless you are a known druggie, he'll probably prescribe you a small amount to cover both legs of the flight. Ativan is a sedative for acute anxiety and works well in these situations.

Hi Yeuxgris,
The best advice you'll get is going to be from a qualified therapist, but I'll throw in some basic tips that might help. I dealt with 'aeroanxiety' for years after a bad experience, and will say it's 90% conquered now. (I control it and not vice versa).
By the way, I've had about 70 nothing but perfect flights since the bad one (28 years ago). Wanna laugh?? What changed me the most was being in a car accident a few hours after I got off a plane. All that worrying for nothing, darn it, the statistics were right!!
Some first-hand tips:
1) Knowledge destroys fear. Hit a bookstore and read a couple books like "White Knuckles" by Layne Ridley, if it's still in print.
1a) Do an internet search (or read) for
safety statistics. You'll be consoled.
2) Determine if your fear is really of heights, enclosed spaces, leaving your home, or etc., then attack the fear with a big sense of humor. Sometimes, it's a 'loss of control' issue.
3) You may be prone to anxiety in general, in which case even a children's level dose of valium (e.g., 2mg) or xanax when you fly will 'take the edge off' without making you drowsy.
4) What can you not resist getting engrossed in?? A super book sometimes works for me, but I can't stand losing a game, so I take a handheld electronic game along when I fly.
5) Drinking?? Been there! Works for some people, but doesn't fix the problem if you're deep in the throes of it. If you're hyperventilating, it can actually make it worse. Once you're in control of the problem, it can be a relaxing treat.
6) Hyperventilating: try abdominal (hatha yoga, e.g.) deep slow breathing. You're taking in too much oxygen. Exhale, exhale.
7) Laugh at this problem! There's someone sitting a few seats away going thru the same thing...trust me!
Don't know about you, but I'd rather go through anything than not seeing Paris again! Bonne chance!

Hyperventilating is not a case of taking in too much oxygen. It's blowing off your CO2 which causes acid base changes in the blood. These lead to a drop in your serum calcium and results in carpal-pedal spasm. (hands clench) You treat it by breathing into a PAPER BAG. This causes you to rebreathe your CO2 and will correct the above changes. DO NOT BREATH INTO ANYTHING BUT A PAPER BAG. I think I already said that...