dining protocol in italy

you dont' have to order all the courses...but you could just order a prima (pasta etc) or a secondo (meat fish etc) and add or not an antipasti and/or desert

It is quite common to order just as you state, or less. You could even get the first and second at the same time if you wish.

I'm not much of a meat eater so I often have an antipasto then a primi. My husband the carnivore usually goes for an antipasti and a secondo. Then he orders dessert while I order cheese if available. We both have wine and then espresso to finish. Generally portions are much smaller than what we are used to in the USA. Enjoy!

My husband and I generally share an antipasto or two, then we each order either a prima or secondo and also a contorno to share. He always has dessert then usually a gelato on the way back to the hotel.

We share a bottle of wine with dinner and generally have an espresso to finish.

It all depends on personal appetite and we often do the same here at home.

As suggested, you can order ANYTHING - in any amount or sequence - from the menu. This post speaks to different types of restaurants in Rome and Italy: http://www.roninrome.com/2009/04/02/whats-a-trattoria/

Before you make any decision, have a look at the size of the portions. Most are much mor reasonable than the gigantic portions served in the US and you may find you will eat more than you think.

That said, the restaurant will be fine with you sharing things - just tell them in advance - as long as you don;t each order a plain green salad and glass of tap water.

If you are at a restorant where they do not speak English then the difficult part is just telling the waiter in what order you want the food to come out. I often want my Salad first but on the menu it is last.... so just say primi for what you want first secondo for second etc.

Italian waiters really want to help you and they are almost always spectacular. Italians love to eat "la Familia" so just order something to share and it will be great.

If by some chance you are in central Tuscany, we have one of the best restaurants lists..... just email us at jnjfraz@cableone.net and I'll send it to you.

My husband and I do that all the time. In smaller towns and places where Italians tend to eat we do get funny looks sometimes, but for the most part no one cares....and anyway, no one will refuse you food!

Just don't ask for a doggie bag. I think they are offended if you don't eat all your food at the table. They must think Americans are barbarians because we think it's fine to walk home with a bag of left-overs! ha ha

antipasto/antipasti
primo/primi
secondo/secondi
contorno/contorni
dolce/dolci

There's no such thing as "a prima," and "a primi" makes no sense, as it's plural. I would never order the salad first - it's not how Europeans serve salad. Agree with no doggie bag. And no, you don't have to order the full gamit of courses, just a reasonable amount of food, recognizing that the courses are smaller than what the Olive Garden heaps on you.

grazie, StCirq for the clarity on singular/plural. Many will think you're nitpicking, but isn't it nice to learn the right thing to say, so you don't find yourself saying the equivalent of "As the appetizers I'll have clams" etc? These are good things to know, if we're going to use the words.

We may see "Have a panini!" all over the US now, but of course that's sort of like "Have a sandwiches." Bugs the heck out of me, like when a TV chef says "BROOSHETTA" for the word that is pronounced - ion Italian - "broo-SKET-ta".

BTW, my Italian tutor taught me to say "Come primo" when I mean "For the first course", although come means "how", not, "for". She was Torinese - anyone else have a comment on that usage?

Come primo is perfect.
You can't always translate things literally.

In a restaurant in our neighboorhood the waitress told us it was better to take only one portion of every course for the two of us because she guessed that the portions were too large for us (and she was right!)

The only thing that they can find rude is that you take only an antipasto and then leave, because making the antipasti is more work then the rest. But sharing is really no problem, even Italians do it.

Tomasso,

"come primo" is perfect. "Come" doesn't just translate as "how", but also "as". e.g. "As a first plate..."

This is used in a lot of expressions illustrating a point of view:
"Come americano,..." "Come donna, ..." (As an American..., As a woman...)

End of (Italian) grammar lesson. : )

Just to be clear, I LOVED my Italian tutor and not only believed her when she said "come primo", I have gone on to use the phrase when in Italy. But I wondered if it might be regional.

I learned that some Spanish-speakers (in S America) say "don't pull my hair" (no me tomes el pelo) when we would say "don't pull my leg." Ain't it great?

E come secondo ...

And thanks, agriturismo and romana2!