chris_pasti

Hi, I'm Chris, I'm an Italian web application developer with 10 years of experience.

I'm moving to Amsterdam in July to work. My girlfriend is American, she lives in the US and she really would like to move to Amsterdam with me, but she has a great job and she's so afraid to quit and scared to not find any job there.

I'd like to make a video to convince her to move there. I'd like all of you to make a 15-second video, a short audio file, or even only a text review with the reasons why she should come to Amsterdam.

I would like to show it to her when done. In particular, I'd like you to focus on these topics:
- great place to live;
- great place to have fun;
- great place to relax;
- great place to have a baby;
- Dutch are great people.

It would be great if you record something in English or Dutch (but, please, send me the translation, so I can put subtitles).

Please, please, please, I need the help of you all! Many, many thanks, Chris

This is a page I've created: http://fixingthebug.com/convince-my-girlfriend/ .

hetismij2

What makes you think she can move to Amsterdam even if she wants to? You aren't married so she can't just move with you. She would have to get a visa and work etc etc.
If she really cares about you perhaps she will find a way to move. Or perhaps you can find a way to join her in the US.
Amsterdam is an expensive place to live, and full of tourists. Taxes are high in the Netherlands too. I wouldn't live in my capital if you paid me.

PalenQ

I wouldn't live in my capital if you paid me.>

Den Hague?

Maybe marry her and have moving to Amsterdam as a condition?

suze

Wouldn't it be easier to do a job search and show her the jobs she is qualified to apply for that are available in Amsterdam? Get the paperwork on whatever red tape she needs to get a work visa for Amsterdam? Show her it is actually possible, instead of focusing on what other people think of the city.

Does she want to have a baby? ;-)

Christina

If you cared so much, you'd get married. I wouldn't take you seriously and do that, either, it's very risky for her. It might not be if she didn't have any decent job anyway so didn't care about losing it. But obviously she doesn't as you say she has "a great job."

baby, right, she'd be stuck with a kid, also, on her own

chris_pasti

Hi, thanks for your replies.

I was planning to move temporarily (1 year) to Amsterdam, so she could a course or training for her job. Then moving back to the US. I'm a web application developer and can provide for the both of us. That's it.

suze

With those details you just gave, then IF she wants to do this, she could.

What are the requirements for a US citizen being there for one year, not employed, being supported by someone they aren't married to? That's what you need to be able to show her.

Assuming she is good at whatever she does for work, she could likely find another job in the US after only one year away.

hetismij2

PalenQ, Amsterdam is the capital of the Netherlands. The Dutch constitution says so. We've had this conversation before.

Belinda

Hi Chris, what a friendly welcome to Fodors you have gotten! Personally I think it sounds like an amazing adventure and if I were a young girl I'd welcome the chance. Maybe you could invite her for a vacation. If she's never been to Amsterdam she might fall in love.

Good luck!

Guenmai

"I was planning to move temporarily (1 year) to Amsterdam, so she could a course or training for her job. Then moving back to the US. I'm a web application developer and can provide for the both of us. That's it."

OK. So.... she's expected to give up her "great" job/career to move to Amsterdam for ONE YEAR and then return home to unemployment, loss of job seniority, and possibly end up at the bottom of a salary scale if she even finds employment when she returns home? And she's supposed to do all of this without having a husband and then expected to possibly have a baby and be stuck, who knows where, and with possibly no job, family, security and maybe with a baby? I can't even believe what I'm reading. By reading this, I'm thinking that you two must be very young.

One of my best friends is American and married to an Italian. They've been married about 20 years now. He lived in the U.S. and she in Italy and they commuted back and forth to each other until 8 years ago when he reached his goal of retiring early at age 55. He didn't just up and leave his great profession, that he had worked hard and long in, and move to another country and she didn't give up hers to move here. Well, their patience and good sense paid off as now they are both in Italy and still very married and happy and living with a stable income.

Happy Travels!

PalenQ

Is she into cannabis and coffeeshops? For some may be key. But a minor plus overall.

scrb11

This sounds like a House Hunters International episode.

Every guy on that show who works in IT of some kind are bragging that they just need a good Internet connection and a quiet spot and they can work anywhere in the world.

And at the same time, enjoy better quality of life, even if you have to work odd hours to connect with their employer.

Maybe the OP should consider moving to America, if he can do his work from here. Then see if the relationship gets serious enough that she'd give up her job.

Then she can move to Europe and make all kinds of demands and complaints about how small and expensive everything is in Europe, while insisting they pay to live in the most expensive city center housing.

thursdaysd

Honestly, do you know how entitled and oblivious you sound? This is a woman with a good job she apparently loves, and you are suggesting that she throw it up to spend a year with you doing who knows what.

And if you are Italian, are you state in your first sentence, how do you propose to move to the US after this year in Amsterdam? Or, if you are already legally living in the US, why are you moving to Amsterdam?

PalenQ

PalenQ, Amsterdam is the capital of the Netherlands. The Dutch constitution says so. We've had this conversation before.>

Yes because King lives there in theory? Defacto capital Den Hague -where U S Embassy is -Consulate in Amsterdam will help OP thru it all.

quokka

In other words, you expect her to give up her career for your sake.

Does SHE want to have a baby? For men this is easy, it is the woman who has to bear the burden and the consequences, and who is stuck at home with the littlie.

hetismij2

Pal, the King lives the the Hague. Well Wassenaar.
It is stated in the Dutch constitution that Amsterdam is the capital. It has nothing to do with where the government is, or where the embassies are. My statement about not living in the capital if you paid is me accurate on every level.

StCirq

You really think that people are going to side with you, never mind take the time to make a video??? Nuts.

Your girlfriend has her head on straight. No way would I give up a great job and move to a new country with a guy who thinks "it's a great place to have a baby." She can't even move there without a long-term visa, and why would she want to abandon a promising career to have a baby with someone she's not even married to in a country where she doesn't speak the language or know the customs?

Your head is in the clouds. Go to Amsterdam and have a baby with someone who already lives there.

LSky

It sounds as though you are free to go where you'd like and your girlfriend doesn't want uproot, just now or never.

If you love her, why don't you offer to move to her city?
Is there a chance that's what's holding her back?

How long have you been together? Have you spent quite a bit of time in each other's company, in person?

Suggest that you could move to the US and see how she feels about that.

PalenQ

My girlfriend is American, she lives in the US and she really would like to move to Amsterdam with me, but she has a great job and she's so afraid to quit and scared to not find any job there.>

Sounds like she's hot to trot to Amsterdam-'really would like to' so I think these caustic comments here are out of order - the only reason she is hesitant is about her job - understandable but if she really does not like her job then if legalities can be straightened out and she could find a decent job in NL then she would do it.

Q- What kind of background does she have? Job-wise - something that would be in demand -lots of American companies have offices in Holland, especially Amsterdam - tell her to pursue that angle.

cafegoddess

Hi Chris,

Welcome to Fodors, please ignore the rude comments. Belinda's suggestion is good. Slow down a little a little bit, remember love is patience. Bring her to Amsterdam, let her get to know the city.