crellston

Travelling around Asia for a year and missing England just a bit, I picked up a copy of John O'Farrell's An Utterly Impartial History of Britain, at a guesthouse book swap. Well worth a read for anyone interested in an amusing slant of the history of Britain. He was a scriptwriter for satirical shows like Spitting Image, Not the Nine O'Clock News etc.

Here are a few snippets from the foreword:

AD 45 British chieftains agree to pay Roman taxes, but claim large expenses for employing their wives as "secretarial assistants"

A.D. 60 Boudicca burns down Colchester, St Albans and London. Roman Governor regrets asking her it's her funny week

AD 450 Angles, Saxons and Jutes invade south. Londoners invent second homes in Cornwall and Welsh countryside.

AD 761 Offa declares only a great big dyke is going to stop the marauding Welsh. Someone suggests Olaf's sister.

AD 1191 Richard 1 joins Third Crusade, convinced that Saladin has Weapons of Mass Destruction

A.D. 1215 King John accepts Magna Carta. Power of monarchs officially limited too pending sports centres and waving

A.D. 1415 Henry V massacres thousands at Battle of Agincourt to avenge a particularly rude French waiter

A.D. 1570 Protestants and Catholics "agree to disagree"

A.D. 1763 7 years war ends bang on time

A.D. 1789 French Revolution prompts widespread tutting in England

A.D. 1805 Nelson dies in determined to get statue on the empty plinth in Trafalgar Square

A.D. 1876 Victoria named Empress of India after her favourite curry house

A.D. 1918 Germany admit they have lost "First World War" some anxiety over the choice of name

A.D. 1921 Ireland finally gains independence from Britain but entire population moves to Kilburn anyway.

A.D. 1945 Britain wins World War II but passes coffee mug saying "World's Number One Country" over to Americans

IMDonehere

That is wonderful and witty.

Geordie

Very good, I'll definitely add it to my list of books to read

annhig

excellent crellston, thanks.

I'll look out for it in the next B&B we stay in. [which strange to say is going to be in Shrewsbury in a couple of weeks time]

Why Shrewsbury I hear you ask?

DH worked there about 40 years ago and he has a yen to explore "temps perdus".

I will report back in due course.

irishface

Why Shrewsbury? Brother Cadfael mysteries set there. Interesting city to explore. Lots of little lanes that seem medieval, a wonderful garden at the Quarry and lots of gardens in surrounding area. (I was there thirty years ago for a day and a night and wished I could have stayed longer!)

irishface

And I forgot to mention that Charles Darwin was born in Shrewsbury.

annhig

irishface - he worked at the now defunct Silhouette bra factory for a year before he moved to Coventry and had the "luck" to meet me!

I think that we went there once for a day while we were "courting" but didn't stay overnight so there will be plenty to explore.

unfortunately it turns out that the annual flower show will be on while we're there so finding somewhere to stay was a bit of a trial but we did it in the end. The flower show is at the Quarry I believe and would like to go to see it but may encounter some resistance from himself.

it looks an interesting place and as you say, plenty to do in and around the town.

and thanks for the tip re Darwin.

LancasterLad

Crellston. If you're still at the Travel Lodge in Hoi An, can you please leave the book there, and I'll pick it up when we arrive on 18 September (wink)?

latedaytraveler

CRELLSTON, thanks for the suggestion. I enjoy British history from any angle.

ANNHIG, I look forward to reading about your jaunt to Shrewsbury. Rings a bell - is there a cathedral there?

annhig

LDT - there is a Cathedral in Shrewsbury but it's a catholic one, which means that Shrewsbury remains a town, not a city. [That will annoy PalenQ immensely I should think]

there is an Abbey so to that extent, the Cadfael books are accurate, if in nothing else.

LancasterLad

I don't think it matters whether the Cathedral is catholic or anglican.

annhig

I think it does when it comes to whether it's a city or not, LL!

[that was the only point I was making]

it's definitely Shrewsbury Town - I checked.

latedaytraveler

Thank you, ANNHIG.

LancasterLad

An interesting and comprehensive read about City status in the UK...

http://lovemytown.co.uk/citystatus/index.htm

scotlib

Nice tip. Thanks, crellston. A used copy is now on its way to me from Amazon re-seller

crellston

You are very welcome scotlib. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

lancasterLad - we have now moved on to Hue but bizarrely I did leave my copy in Hoi An! Wish I hadn't as I could have done with something extra to read as it hasn't stopped raining since we got here a week ago!

MargaretandTony

crellston: "A.D. 1945 Britain wins World War II but passes coffee mug saying "World's Number One Country" over to Americans"

Wow ! I guess the joke was on my uncle, an American soldier. On his 7th island invasion, he got killed in the Phillipines fighting the Japanese. If he had known that Britain was going to win the war, he could have gone home and waited for the war to be concluded.

Hooameye

It's a JOKE!!!!! We all know America won WW2......(Another joke).

crellston

MargaretandTony - So it is true. Americans don't do irony!
Seriously, read the book, you may learn thing or two, I certainly did. I would try to explain what I believe the author meant but I fear it would be in vain.

annhig

thanks for the link to that website, LL.

My only comment is that the last table is misleading in that it is headed "UK towns with Catholic cathedrals" implying that they are all towns, in fact many of them [eg Birmingham, Bristol and London] are of course cities.

or did I misunderstand the purpose of the table?