This is a great start!
I know the feeling about getting away from the car rental place at the Avignon TGV and not really knowing how the features on the car work.
Those ladies sound really helpful.
I'm sure things are going to improve.

A cliff hanger trip report laartista, continue please...

That is hilarious laartista (though I am sure less funny at the time...),

keep the trip report coming!

Cheers

Hehehehe...keep it up!

I love this!! More please!

Love the xanax part of the story LOL

How funny! Can just see you in your talking car trying to look at your map and find your hotel! You certainly have more courage than I do. But I must say that the French must have a habit of getting in cars with strangers - we had the same thing happen in Vence - lost and looking for our hotel - stopped by side of road and asked two women for directions. One of them got in the car with us (two couples) and took us to our hotel! We were all shocked! Could not believe that anyone would get in a car with strangers! Would never happen in U.S. We were really thankful, however, and appreciated our good samaritan!



How funny! Can just see you in your talking car trying to look at your map and find your hotel! You certainly have more courage than I do. But I must say that the French must have a habit of getting in cars with strangers - we had the same thing happen in Vence - lost and looking for our hotel - stopped by side of road and asked two women for directions. One of them got in the car with us (two couples) and took us to our hotel! We were all shocked! Could not believe that anyone would get in a car with strangers! Would never happen in U.S. We were really thankful, however, and appreciated our good samaritan!



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Sorry - when I copied my post from the US to Europe board, it posted twice!

laartista: This is priceless! Can't wait for the next installment.

I love this! It reminds me of an old episode of Magnum PI where Magnum is driving a car that keeps talking to him (back when cars first started doing that), mostly saying "Your door is ajar." He finally gets out, opens the hood and rips out the wires that hook up the speaker. Always one of my favorite episodes!
Looking forward to more.

Wow. I LOVE that they got in the car with you! Can't wait to hear the rest.
Thanks for sharing!
dina

Utterly amazing... the two french women of a certain age get into the Batmobile now turned SSBB car.

And all this with still no sleep.

I am dying, this is great, you are very brave.
More, merci, more!

A definite candidate for the Best Trip Report- Chapter One...

Great story! So, how do you say "I'm lost" in French?

This is going to be good. Love driving around Avignon; hate driving in it.

Je suis perdue...

I am lost....

Hey, thanks all. One thing as I go on. AS long as there is no serious bodily injury involved, when mishaps or snags or weird things happen on vacation it's always really funny to me, plus these things always make for the best stories.

BLH-yeah, I'd be curious to know if it is a common practice in France to just get in a strangers car and without asking. Anyhoo, onward....

So there I am in some deserted back street of Avignon(which is not a scary place) with the 2 ladies in my car I literally chuckled outloud and looked at the one in the front seat and said Ca Va? She said good we take you, we'll go with you to your hotel. I'm like really? cool o.k.

One observation of which I have many. Ever notice when your travelling and you ask someone in their language if they speak english and they answer with a little, un peu or un po or whatever, it really means they are pretty much fluent. When I say a little it means I know 10 words.

So, we go. Right, right left, right she says pointing out the high schools of all things. She says there are 4 in Avignon. Good to know. We get to the gated parking lot behind the hotel which is open. She says in there you park- there is your hotel. So like any good new yorker I offer her and her friend cab fare to get back to where they were, it seemed far. she was quite amused by this and said no that's not necessary we like to walk. Au revoir.

As I unpack the car I realize that no good deed goes unpunished because the lady in the front had left her sunglasses. I run out to the street but they were gone. I gave them to the guy at the front desk in case she came looking for them.

O.K. first hotel review. The Cloitre Saint Louis. At 80 Euro a night and a great location acn't be beat. would I stay there for 150 Euro a night? No. Checkin was smooth I used venere to reserve, I swear by them. Fabrice at the front desk ( you know how in the Tuscan Sun when she asks what his name is and he says Marcello she says of course it is, Fabrice, of course it is) is very helpful, everyday with my direction questions. The grounds of the hotel are beautiful with an awesome courtyard. The rooms, well I stayed in the old side. It was very sparten, late 80's decor, bed was huge but maybe 3" thick with pillows the size of m & m's. Toilet in it's own little and I mean little closet on the other side of the room which was actually quite large.

Hi laartista, I am loving your trip report and your sense of humor. And agree, it is the aggrevations that make us chuckle later. Also agree about Europeans, they always respond they speak very little English and than generally make us Americans sound like we need to study up on our own language, LOL.

Now I never unpack when I first check in to a hotel plus I'm so tired that if I stay in the room long I'll never leave. I do however make my mandatoty arrival phone calls. I have this neurotic jewish mother ( who was actually baptised as a child I recently found out-but that's another story-which technically makes me half catholic I guess)who will imagine you lying in a ditch somewhere if you don't check in. Did I mention I just turned 40. Anyway with my trusty MCI calling card(shameless plug) I call and then head out.

First stop is a friendly game of charades with the local pharmacist. I forgot my eye makeup remover and cotton balls. 15 euro later I take a stroll down the Rue de la Republique to the square with the carousel. So first impression of Avignon is cute, nice, no great shakes. An opinion that really doesn't change much over the coming days. But, just my opinion. I will say I was suprised at how edgy the population seemed to be. Alot of young people, super funky, reminded me of being in the village in NYC.

I'm STARVING!! I haven't eaten since my 4 course dinner on the plane. I opted to skip breakfast because I was still full from the veal chop at dinner which was actually quite delicious. Where to eat? I'm not great with picking places to eat at when away, plus I wanted something not too heavy. I stop in a cafe on the way toward the hotel, they have bruchetta type pizza things. I have one with olives(hey, I'm in Provence) and 3 ,yes 3 cafes. I'm a triple shot Starbucks girl. Trying to stay awake here. Can't sleep yet, I'll be screwed with jet lag.

I leave the cafe, oooh an Irish bar, on the corner. Can't ever go wrong with an Irish bar. Guarenteed English speaking cute bartenders. I stop in for a few beers and a chat with the barman and then head back to my room. It's 7:30 pm. I need zzz's.

Back at casa Saint Louis I decide to unpack, that is until I open the closet to find a humoungi can of Raid. Why's that in there? Are there bugs? I hate bugs! Except spiders-they are good luck, I'm super superstitious (my mother's Hungarian). Yeah, No! No clothes in the bug closet, I will live out of the suitcase.

I settle in, take in 1/2 hour of French Deal or no Deal with the Spanish soap opera music they play in the background to tug at your heartstrings as the woman chooses her box. Oh, it's 250,000 euro, Ouch! Her eyes well up with tears as do mine and I doze off.

Hi,
This is a fun report. I can't wait to read the rest.

laartisa, this is so much fun. When I was staying across the bridge, my room had a seperate toilet room that you had to climb three steps to get there, a true throne. and the tub and shower in another.Please post more soon.

Day 2 or so I think

I wake up feeling refreshed from my day of planes, trains and automobiles. This room stays dark I must have slept late. Open the drapes, it's dark outside. No clock in the room so I look for my watch and do some watch math. Bought the watch in Germany 4 years ago and still can't set it. So half the year back home I have to add an hour.Damn, it's only 1:30 am. Ugh! Next 4 hours, T.V, elle magazine, suduko fall back asleep and up again at 9:30. Order some coffee to the room, can't function without the morning caffien and today I'm off for my first field trip from Avignon. Today I go to St. Remy and Le Baux on the suggestion from many on this board. I had never heard of them before my Fodor's addiction began.

A quick stop at the reception desk armed with my via michelin maps and directions. Sunglasses-check, lip gloss-check, mastercard-check check. Double check which way to get out of Avignon with Fabrice and off I go.

Driving out of Avignon was easy, not very picturesque, but easy. Roundabouts--no problem, I've got my eagle eye sunglasses on (although it's quite cloudy and grey)and even though those roundabouts are the pain the French are really good at posting direction signs to the different towns. I'm noticing the beautiful white bark trees, I don't know what kind they are and they are bare of leaves but dramatic still. As I listen to the Black Eyed Peas on the radio on the road to St. Remy--- We interrupt your musical listening pleasure to bring you a nonsensical announcement from Madam Knightrider. She's back and talks right over the radio. Now I know David Hasselhoff is popular in Europe but this is ridiculous. I pull over, I need to stop her. I figure out if I press dark button screen goes blank and she stops talking. Press navigate screen back on voice gone. This is the procedure every now and then for the next 5 days.

As I approach St. Remy I thought where do I park, where do I go? In front of me there is a town square with a parking lot in the middle. Looks good I'll park here. Wow ,it's really quiet here. I know it's February but I mean really quiet. I can imagine what madhouses these places must become in the high tourist season. So despite the 40 degree weather and lack of bloom or people I figure I have the whole place to myself. So I follow the signs to the tourist office. FERME'--closed? The tourist office closed? I just laughed and went for a cappuccino.

If you just say "Je suis perdue" people are likely to think that you have lost your soul--better to say "Je me suis perdue" to be on the safe side. Unless, of course, you have lost both yourself and your soul, as when Scarlet went to hell.

Avignon can be really difficult to get around in--we somehoe ended up in the outskirts and had to circle and circle to get back to the center.

As for the voice in French, we used to have a Datsun Maxima that said things like "Right door is open," except in a Japanese accent--so it was "Light door is open." We named her Maxine, and I miss her since we sold the car.

This is too funny. I found myself giving your driving instructions from in front of this screen.

As a fellow New York who rarely if ever drives had the same experience when we visited/arrived Avignon. But sure knew that Rt. in/our of St. Remy in every direction in a hot NY-minute.

Personally, I would have shot the car!

More, more please!

Loving this on a dark, gloomy, snowy (!) day in the Bay Area. This is a priceless report & can't wait for more.

I am enjoying your report so much too laartista. And believe Cobbie when she describes the weather, we live just 30 miles from each other. Miserable terrible weather, LOL.

Now, more about your experiences in France..

Dreary and rainy up here in Davis...BORING. My knees hurt. The cats are sad. Sun, please!!!

Hi Underhill, well my left hand is aching..we sure are having miserable weather aren't we, from Benicia to Vacaville to Davis. Terrible! I always feel like a wimp complaining about the weather as know that those in the midwest and eastcoast etc. have worse, but this is California, and people think we have 14/7 blue sky and sunshine. We only wish right? Take care and stay warm.

Hey Underhill "light door is open had me choking--sooo funny.

O.K. kids, so I'm in St.Remy and tourist opffice is closed so I decide after my cap to stroll around town. To my dismay it seems everything is closed. It's Friday afternoon about 1:00 and it appears it's siesta in France. So I walk thru the cobbled streets of this ever so charming town which on this day is void of color except for the blue shutters because it's a grey winter day. I window shop and take a bunch of photos and head down what I'm guessing is the main street, I forget the name but the L'hotel is on it which looks like a really nice place and I find myself wishing I had stayed there.

Across the street I notice a store is open so I pop in, my mastercard was burning a hole in my pocket so I bought my 2 neices little french shirts in pink that say made in mother. St. Remy is a beautiful town and I can see why it's so popular with this board. After about 2 hours I decide to head on to Le Baux. Driving out of town I pass the galum ruins and snap a few photos.

Up the hill I drive, Madam Knightrider has been quiet. I notice the GPS screen which I hadn't paid much attention to and notice it's mapping my drive. That's what they do, right? So I'm watching it and the road and I see a hairpin turn on the screen. Is this what's coming? Yes it is! Up the windy road to Le Baux. Really beautiful from what I can see but I'm trying to concentrate on the road which is hard , I find myself wanting to look out the side window.


I arrive at the parking landing at the base of the town. It is wicked windy and cold up there but I've got a chateau to see a Chateau des Baux! I stop to snap a few pix of the view. Everything is open here. I first pass a store with candied fruits and chocolates, peek in for a look, I've never seen such pretty treats. Up the hill I walk stopping in the shops to browse. The higher I go the windier it gets. Finally at the chateau. Buy my ticket and armed with my new Sony P200 digital camera-- Oh my, I feel like I'm on the top of the world. Noone else there, just me. I wander around taking in the views which are really breathtaking. Up and down the stairs of the chateau ruins, passed the catapults--this is awesome. I'm so mesmerized that I don't notice my hands are turning blue from the cold. I decide to head down.

On the way out of the village I stop for yet another cafe. I always drink so much cofee in Europe. Bought a few post cards that showed Le Baux in better weather and start my drive back to Avignon.

Back in Avignon I realize another day I haven't eaten yet. Sometimes I forget. There was this little cafe/bar called Le Americain. I go there. Order a bottled water and a pizza, a frozen pizza, I know I'm in Provence where there is great food and I'm ordering a frozen pizza in a bar. Shameful it is!

At the table next to me, I'm sitting at a small booth, ther are two women with a really cute springer spaniel. I love animals and can't help saying Bon Jour puppy. He must understand because over he comes, up on back legs and hands me his paw. So cute, what's his name I ask. Neeson, neeson? No Neeson, Neeson? No NEELSON, Oh, Nelson. Oui. Hello Nelson, well that's all he needed for permission to jump up on my booth and get in my lap. Bottle of water, frozen pizza, springer spaniel in my lap, all set for lunch.

What a great report. You are so brave to drive in France and without a co-pilot! Can't wait to read the rest.

Okay, so far this is one my fave reprts of all time. Looking forward to the rest.

I'm so enjoying this trip report, laarista. We had the same thing happen to us in Spain--asked for directions and this gentleman gets into the car with us and literally TAKES US THERE! Not only that, we had a POLICE ESCOURT to the Museo Picasso in Malaga!

Sound like other people here have had similiar experiences too. Talk about quality of life...of course, we didn't have a "talking car" ...very funny!


And yes, isn't it great--to have poochies in bars and restaurants--I'm always telling my poochies about this and how civilized it is!

PLEASE keep writing, laartista-- this is great fun!

My goodness. What an adventure in only a few hours. Can't wait for the rest.

laartista,

I wonder whether your car was related to the one we rented our last time in France, the kind without a key. It insisted on turning the lights on and off for us and hissed if we didn't fasten the seatbelts right away. The guy who ran our B&B recommended that we talk loudly about how great we thought de Gaulle was because the car would like that and behave.

Underhill,
Hell-that is where I learned to speak French ~

Tagging to savor as this super saga progresses.

Fantastic report! Can't wait to read the rest.

Hey, thanks guys and gals for your nice comments and encouragement. And funny comments too. I'm trying to figure out how to post some pix. Since I'm a little technicalogically (is that a word?)challenged and until now I was a trip report virgin it could take a bit.

After lunch with nelson the dog which was really at about 5:30, I decided to go check out the streets of Avignon. Now usually when I travel I'm really into museums. I love art and architecture. But for some reason I just wasn't feeling the whole museum thing- so arcitecture it is. Wanted to see the bones of this old city. The thing is it's dusk so I need to hurry up.

Through the little streets of Avignon I walk looking at the buildings, always paying attention to the doors, windows and hardware. Also a little window shopping, but not real shopping because some one on this site had said how his wife loves to shop in Aix and I was going there tomorrow.

At about 8:30 I was tired, I think I was a little jet lagged still from the day before. I grab a sandwhich in case I wake up at 1:00 am hungry, which I did and my tomato, egg, ham, cheese and soggy lettuce sandwhich hit the spot.

Day 3 I go to Aix-but right now I go to the hardware store-more later and thanks alot again for being so nice, I know I can drone on.

Fun trip report! Looking forward to hearing more.

the droning and the details are what makes us feel we're there... keep them coming!

Day 3 Off to Aix

Get up around 9 and have my mandatory morning coffee brought to the room while I get ready. Daily stop at reception to review directions with Fabrice and I'm on my way to Aix. I actually find myself saying Bon Jour to Madam Knightrider as if she can hear in addition to talk.

The ride to Aix was an easy one especially the highway part. I look for parking as I arrive in town and spot an underground garage near a medical center.Walking up the street toward an intersection an eventually on to Cours Mirabeau. This is the main drag and the tourist office is at the other end which was my first stop. There are lots of people, the trees are bare and it is a cold grey day again. Haven't seen many if any American tourists since I arrived in Provence. Mostly German and a few Brits. At the tourist office grab a map , some pamphlets and off to explore.

There are alot of stores in Aix. It's Saturday ,I know there is a market but I've yet to find it and considering it's about 11:30 I might miss it and I did. The streets are packed, locals and tourists carrying lots of bags with all their purchases. Funny though, for the shopaholic that I am I haven't found anything that really appealed to me yet.

This day was really uneventful. I know on this board there are mixed feelings and opinions about Aix and I'd have to say I agree with those who don't love it. The town just really didn't do it for me. Aestheticly(i'm a bad speller, sorry) not a bit. But, hey different strokes right. I did have lunch there at one of the crowded tented cafes. An interesting, not sure if delicious ravioli/tortellini filled with pear and goat cheese in a tomato sauce, glass of wine and a cafe, about 25 Euro. I decide to head back to Avignon to see the Papal Palace which I hadn't seen yet.

Back in Avignon I take a stroll over to the Popes Place. Massive it is ,almost intimidating in size. The large open expanse of stone was virtually empty of people which made it seem bigger I guess. It was very interesting to learn the history of the popes of Avignon. I spotted La Mirande on the back side of Pope ( wait, that doesn't sound good) that looks like an awesome hotel. Took a walk along the popes walkway and to the Pont D'Avignon. All super impressive and a nice afternoon.

I decided to have dinner that night at my hotel the restaurant was supposed to be good. Tomorrow was a big day so I was going to take it easy tonite. The restaurant was busy with a nice atmosphere. I ordered a glass of wine and main course and dessert. I ordered a steak done medium. Rare was not the word for this steak, it was still bleeding and my butter knife just wasn't doing the trick. I ask for a serated knife which hadn't been sharpened since the pope lived there. I swear I was getting Carpetunnel from trying to cut my food. I tell the waiter the meat is very hard to cut, was it tough or just really rare, why I don't know. He takes it and 5 minutes later the head english speaking waiter comes with my plate and asks did I want them to cut my food for me. What? No!! I just want to be able to cut my own food. Needless to say I didn't eat it, had dessert creme brulee, and they only charged me 16 Euro so I guess something was comped. When I awoke at 2 am- I have a little insomnia problem- I broke open a 6 Euro tiny can of chocolate covered almonds, my stomach gave me no choice it was growling.

Day 4-- A big day

Super funny report. I'll be going to Avignon so waiting to hear more funny stories here.

I am lovin this report. From the amount of driving you are doing, places must be relatively close. I keep wondering if we should reserve in two different places for the week we will be there to avoid driving or just stay in one place.

Thanks, Underhill, for the proper French - Je me suis perdue - Now how do you pronounce it properly. Is me pronounced mu?

La Artista-
I'm loving your report! Keep it coming!

Adding to the "I'm lost" debate:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/languages/french/creuse/lost/index.shtml

Ronda-the places are close to each other 1/2 hour 45 min. but some of them you need a car for so I would suggest driving.


Day 4- It is a packed one!!

I had a wakeup call for 6:30am which is early for me I 've been getting up at 9 am. But it is market day and perched village hopping day so I am psyched! My first stop is to be L'Isle Sur la Sorgue for what the Fodorites say is the best provencal market of all. No coffee this am and a super brief stop at Fabrice's reception desk and I am out the door and on the road.

It is a gorgeous Sunday. The first sunny day I've had since arriving on Thursday. It will reach 50 degrees today which is also warmer. So I've gotten really used to getting in and out of Avignon, dealing with my chatterbox car and mastering the roundabouts. About half way there in all the excitement for market day I realize I forgot ALL my maps. Oh man, this sucks, well I'll deal with it later.

I arrive at L'isle sur la Sorgue promptly at 9:00am. Some of the vendors are just finishing setting up. I park in a small pay lot next to a minimart type grocery store, stop at the ATM to load up on Euros. This is a really cute town with a canel going thru it. The market is set up on the other side from where I parked so I cross over one of their cute foot-bridges. At first glance I thought, this isn't so big, I didn't realize that the market extends into the small windy streets of the village.

Oh, it's just what I thought it would be and I was lovin it! Firstly I had to get a straw market basket for my wares, 10Euro. As walk the aisle I seem to stop at every soap vendor. 5 bars for 10 Euro, wow these would be 6 bucks a piece back home. Get some soap, 5 bars. Next, Herbs de provence 5 for 10, o.k I'll take 5. Next tablecloth, placemats and napkins,on request from mom all for 85 euro. All this shopping is making me hungry not to mention the stalls of olives and chickens and baked goods and sweets and I stop for a nutella crepe. The thing about these crepes, they are like Krispy Kreme Donuts, I could eat a dozen- but I don't.

Another 5 bars of soap and then I graduate to buying 10 at a time, 40 bars later-I'm a soap addict I discover. I also purchased 2 paintings oil on paper from an artist named Sandrik who has a website www.artmajeur.com/sandrik. Not done shopping yet, olive wood salad spoons, tapenade, artichoke garlic spreads, espadrills,sachets of every shape and size, did I mention the soap? My basket was overflowing with goodies I grab a seat and finally my morning coffee and just sit back and watch.

Watch the old ladies buying pre-made foods and wondering whether they throw it in a pot and say to their french hubbies, Mon Cheri look what I slaved over the stove for today. Watch the mothers buying their little ones new sunday dresses and watching the tourists oogle and ogle just as I had for the past 2 1/2 hours.

I'm done shopping and now I have to deal with the situation that I'm mapless.

hey marcy thanks for the link

What happened to the map?

What a fun read! I've been laughing out loud and enjoying your tale. You are gutsy to do this alone, but then, why not? We had a similar lost experience in Winterthur looking for a restaurant. Asked a group of college students at a sidewalk cafe and after trying to explain directions to us, one of the girls got up and happily escorted us several blocks!
Am waiting for your next installment and another giggle or two. You have a great comic way of writing.

Laartista, great report! I had to laugh when I read the part about checking in with your mother. As I was reading that last night, I was waiting for my 21 yr. old to check in with me when she made it back to Rome after a long weekend in Spain. Well, she called, we chatted, I was relieved, life was good. Then at 3:00 AM this morning, the phone ring rings. Of course, this happened to be one of those very rare nights when I was actually asleep, and not experiencing one of my normal bouts of insomnia. Turns out my daughter's phone accidentally hit redial when she was on her way to class this morning (9:00 AM her time). I couldn't really yell at her since I made such a point of telling her she had to check in with me earlier! I can't wait to hear about your adventures in Rome.

Oh Underhill, I left all my maps and driving directions in the hotel room by accident.

O.K. so I'm mapless, I know where I want to go Roussillon and Gordes. So at the parking lot as I pay the guy I ask if he speaks English, No, not un peu but NO. I say Roussillon? Direction? Blank stare. You see I pronounce these towns like they are spelled which is totally incorrect so he has no idea what I'm saying. I write it in big letters on a piece of paper. Oh, Roussillon and points to the right. O.K. fine to the right, I drive down the road first roundabout, around once, around twice, Yep no sign for Roussillon, but there is a carwash on this roundabout so I go there.

I see a man of about 70 standing with his car dressed in a sportscoat waiting to wash his car. Kinda dressy for a carwash I thought. I pull up and out the window say" Bon Jour Monsieur, Parlez vous englais? NO he replies. I say sil vous plait, oo e' la Roussillon?, which is like asking where is THE philadelphia? Blank stare. Get my piece of paper hold it up Roussillon or Bust, he says oh and pronounces it correctly which to me sounds like one of the teachers from Charlie Brown. He points and tells me in French of course, toward APT. So toward Apt I go.

I drive for about half hour, partly on this road with a rail guard and into the valley. Now this is what I'm talking about! This is the Provence I've imagined and dreamed of. This is beautiful!! This must be where sunflowers and lavender are at the right time of year, or maybe not. Still driving no sign for roussilon but I do see a sign for Bonnieux. Hey, I wanted to go there to so I follow that small road. In the distance I see it, perched up. Up the road at the first landing against a stone wall I park the car. I continue up the hill by foot and at a second landing see a card shop, grocery store, tourist office and hotel. I walk to the tourist office first. Not just closed, they've moved out! Across the street a hotel walk up to the door they look closed too. Looks like they moved out also. Place is like a ghost town. What's going on here? I see a woman by the gift/card store bringing in her sidewalk items to close up so I ask her if everything is closed, I mean it is Sunday. She says yes, I ask about Roussillon using the Charlie Brown teachers accent(*seems to work) she tells me to follow the road down the hill toward st. something, I forget now.
I make a quick stop in the mart for some water 23 cents for a big bottle , so I buy 4 and some chocolate and move on.

Thanks guys, your all so sweet and supportive. I can't type so these installments take me a bit. Plus I do have work that needs to be done. your never too old to check in with mom.

I follow the road which is very narrow past what looks like a country club maybe. I'm a little nervous because it seems only one car can fit on this road at a time. I'm hoping noone else comes. So far the roads have been mine ,not another car in sight. Wouldn't you know here one comes right at me and squeezes by, I'm totally freaked out. Out to a main road Yipee!!! A sign, a sign for Roussillon.

Now I'm going slightly off subject for a minute. I've travelled alone alot. I've also travelled with friends, boyfriends and family. When you have a good travel companion there is no better time and I prefer that to being alone. But if no one could go, or I have a friend I love dearly but can't travel with, well then I'm not gonna sit home and wait, I'm going solo. That said, someplaces are better for alone travel than others. Cities are really good for solo travel, Provence is super romantic and being single and newly 40 I hate to admit this but the night before it was bumming me out. O.K. what's the point? The point is this....

As I drive up to Roussillon, I really can't get over the scenery, I literally well up it so beautiful. And, I think to myself, hey, you maybe single and alone in romantic Provence but O my God, you're alone in the middle of the French countryside in a foreign talking car with no maps-who does this? I'm not single and 40, I'm fabulous and 40. Never gave the alone thing another thought for the rest of the trip.

Wow laartista, you are a role model for women everywhere!! And for someone who "can't type" you are certainly doing a fine job of it. Loving your trip report, your zest for life, your sense of humor.

What fun, and you're hitting all my stops!!

laartista: What a great report! I'm loving your sense of humor and wonderful writing style. I especially loved the two 60 yr. old ladies sitting in your backseat - priceless. I also admire you for driving solo. I would love to do this some day, but alas, I hate driving at home let alone in a foreign country.

Hey, Thanks guys! LoveItaly your sweet. I'm trying to finish day 4 before dinner.

As I approach Roussillon(have I been spelling that right?) I can't get over the colors. The sky is super blue today and this town is on an ochre quarry so the houses are all red, and mustard yellow and burnt orange and for an artist it is eye candy, really! It's actually pretty crowded here. Alot of French tourists and I'm having trouble finding parking. Oooh there's a spot.

Does anyone else forget to eat when they are away. I had the crepe this morning but am really hungry so I stop in a place ,very nice with a perched outdoor patio. Although still a little cool out I opt to sit outdoors. I order a ham and cheese omelet which came with a lettuce salad with some corn sprinkled on top. It was very good had it with an iced tea. I am driving, I thought I'd be responsible and lay off the alchohol. After lunch I do some shopping and head over to the quarry park.

Man, this is AWESOME!! The colors are so vibrant. I hike the entire place in my motorcycle boots and carrying my shopping bags while snapping what seemed to be a zillion pictures. Lots of people, families, people and their dogs all walking thru that dustlike indian red dirt that seemed to get on everything. It felt like I spent quite a while there. I really didn't want to leave because I was really enjoying it and it was such a beautiful day. But, I still wanted to see Gordes and it was my last day in the area before I headed to the riviera. So on my way out I stopped at a really cool art store that sold all kinds of pigments to add to your paints and bought a bunch of those and headed out of Roussillon. Let me say again I loved that village, thought it was fantastic.

The drive from Roussillon to Gordes did not disappoint in the scenery department. It was so peaceful on these roads. I kept thinking, here there is no worry of war or terrorism or the ills of the world, unlike New York where the possibility of what could happen always lurks. It must be nice to live here- maybe someday.

Can I say Oh my God one more time. Just when you think you've seen the most awesome scenery, it's Gordes. The approach is breathtaking and people have pulled their cars over all along the windy road up to take pictures. I've never seen anything like it. Pictures are one thing but the feeling of being there, the air, the smells, the goosebumps, those who have been to these places know words and photos just don't do them justice. Indescribable!

I park at the first lot and walk along the road with many others into town square. Some sort of town appreciation festival is going on. Art exhibitions, wine and bake sale at a community center I think. It was fun. It is a very adorable town but the view from the road is really the main attraction. I spent some time there, grabbed a cafe, it was getting dark and I had to drive back to Avignon still. The drive back took me a while because I kept following signs of towns I passed and think I might have gone the long way.

I'm really psyched, my friend Jess meets me tonite for 2 days on the riviera.

laartista--
You ARE fabulous and 40!!!
I can't wait to hear more...
Dina

Sunday night and Jess is coming to Avignon. little background on Jess. She works for me sometimes in New York. A newlywed who is a dancer and in Paris alone auditioning for the Moulin Rouge and The Lido. I told her to meet me for a few days and her husband was o.k with and we've become friends so shewas on her way.

I met her at the TGV station her train arrived at 9:30. Now Jess is 6'0 tall and I'm 5'2" on a good day so together we look like Mutt and Jeff. Jess arrives with a tiny shopping bag and no luggage. Where's your bag I ask. Seems I'm not the only one who hit some snags. Here's what happened to Jess.

Seems some woman on her flight from NY to CDG thurs. night had mistakenly taken Jess's bag instead of her own. Air France contacted the woman and then gave Jess her number to set up a time to get her bag. Jess spoke to her once, the woman said she'de get back to Jess and Sunday evening still no call back, so Jess came anyway with a small shopping bag with some toiletries and the dance clothes she had to purchase for her auditions. The thing that sucks is that Jess and her husband are living on a really small income in NYC which is expensive. She had to pretty much spend all her money with the exception of 100$ on new audition clothes which Air France will reimburst her for. This was on Feb 23 that the woman took her bag. She returned it on March 8 to CDG. Some people are so inconsiderate it's amazing.

We laughed all the back to the hotel about our experiences over the past few days. Then the car pipes in. Jess is like what is that? It was so funny. Back at the hotel I gave her socks and my extra pair of pjs and a few Tshirts. Because of the size difference couldn't help her out much in the clothes department. She's really easygoing so it was o.k. alot of people probably would have freaked out. We went down the street for dinner (food not memorable)it was about 1:00 by the time we got back. We had an early wake-up, tomorrow to the riviera and let me tell you the drive down was WHACKED!

BY the way Jess got offers for both shows, I guess she can can-can.

Hey,
thanks dina

I can can imagine, Will they move to France now that she has the offers?

She'll go but not him , he's in the middle of designing projects in nyc. He's an architect starting out. She'll take a 6 month stint starting this summer I think.

Great Report! I am loving it! I'm laughing out loud and thinking of all the crazy things that have happened to me while traveling. As a 38 year old frequent solo traveler I can relate to calling mom upon arrival. She always asks me to and I always comply!

laartista, the really great thing is....whatever age you are, you are still gonna be Fabulous.

This is so enjoyable, I kinda hate for it to end

I'm waiting for more. I hope it's not the end. Especially as she's gone to all the places I enjoy.

Thanks guys I appreciate your kind words and it's not over Not half way there lol.I hope that doesn't scare you away. I'm just tired typing tonite. Day 5 tomorrow and what happened that morning is seriously messed up!

Laartista,

Your trip report is wonderful, laartista. It brings back fond memories of the trip my husband and I made to Provence to celebrate our 25th anniversary. We were also there in February so we missed the lavendar too. But we bought a wonderful oil painting of lavendar fields in bloom, fresh off his traditional french painter's easel, from an elderly artist in the market square in Arles.

From your "alias" and your purchase of pigments at an art supply store I suspect that you're an artist or at the very least an art lover. Doesn't the clear air and the vibrant colours of Provence just make you long to get out some brushes and paint? And don't the curvy Alpilles mountains around San Remy and les Baux look just the way Van Gogh painted them?

Laartista, we're hanging in.
You're in my heartland

And my kind of gal.

I expect to have my coffee with laartista on the Riviera tomorrow morning

THanks!

Mool-yes, yes yes, to all. I'm sure everytime you look at your painting it brings you back. I am an artist or so people say who buy my work. It's how I make my living.

Cig- I came across your rainy day trip report and I see you can imagine. That sucked about your luggage but your trip sounded fab.

Scarlett-coffee and installment


Day 5- Bizarre at first

Actually first couple of hours were O.k. Me and Jess missed our wake-up for 7:00 got up at 9. I ordered coffee and bread basket to the room and we got ready while eating, checked out, snapped a few pix in the courtyard,got gas.

Us Americans should never complain about gas prices because it is a fortune in Europe. 3/4 tank cost 63 Euro, 75 bucks. I couldn't believe it.

It was nice to have a co-pilot althgough she wasn't very good at her job.We were on our way to Nice. Got to the A-8? the toll road alright and made a quick stop at the service plaza.

La La La driving to Nice all is good and we get to the end of the toll road at the toll plaza and paying our 12 or so Euro. So I'm paying and look up to drive on and there are 2 French officers standing in front of the car. I'm like are they going to move? No they are not. They are coming over to my window. I'm still at the toll booth.
One starts talking to me in French and I just stare at him. Finally I say Parlez vous englais officer? He answers with where are you going? I said Nice. Where are you coming from? I said Avignon. Where do you live? I said the U.S. He calls over to 2 more officers, we are in the furthest booth from the shoulder of the road. The other 2 stop traffic across all the other booths and he says pull over there. I actually said really? Very sternly he said OUI.

I can't believe this! I said Jess what did I do, she was laughing , I'm like NOT FUNNY. At the time, now it is . Over to the shoulder I go. No other cars pulled over. Now there are 4 officers at my window. They're multiplyng like rabbits. Exchange goes like this.

O: Again, where are you going? Where are you coming from?
LA: Nice and Avignon
O:Why are you in France? How long are you here? Where are you going next? How long in Avignon? How long in Nice?
I answer all his questions calmly.
O: Passports ( I hand them over) Is this a rented car? Rental agreement? ( I give it to him)
The 4 step away and have a chat. I look at Jess and again ,What'de I do? She's still laughing. 2 come back to my window one being the head guy, the other 2 go to Jess's window. They open our doors and ask us to step out. So we do. My 2 which are 1 woman, 1 man (as are Jess's) walk me to the back of the car. The other 2 take Jess to the front. During the entire next 1/2 hour me and Jess do not look at each other once. Was I nervous, not really because I didn't do anything, a little freaked out Hell Yeah!

During the next 1/2 hour I have no idea what's happening at Jess's end so I just concentrate on myself.
O: Where's your handbag?
La: I left in the front seat, should I get it? I should, so I do.
He proceeds to go thru my bag which isn't such an easy task because I can go Let's Make a Deal with that bag and win. He holds up my advil bottle, I say migraines. He holds up my Xanax bottle(had the generic name for Xanax on it). I say prescription from my doctor. He checks for doctors name. ( I could have used one of those Xanax right about now). He takes out my wallet, checks each credit card against my passport and my drivers license. He doesn't touch my money but asks how much I had on me. I said about 100 euro.( I thought I really have to stop at the atm in Nice). He continues to rifle thru my bag. Pulls out the car keys with a puzzled look on his face , I tell him it's for this car. I had pulled the from the ignation and dropped them in my bag. He walks over to check the ignition while still holding my bag. He asks what my occupation is, I say artist, I had some pictures and showed them to him, he actually said tres bien. I tried not to chuckle. Then, then is when he asked me the most messed up question and things got really weird.

He asked me, and I still can't believe it, while still looking in my purse, COCAINE? I thought,What? I repeat him, Cocaine? He says Oui, Cocaine, do you have any. And in my best Carrie Bradshaw imitation I say Uh, NOOOO. He lifts an eyebrow and says No? And I repeat NO! I thought, Oh my God, do I look like a cocaine trafficker? Does Jess? Are they asking her this? I mean I know I'm a little bohemian in A NYC kind of way but Cocaine? Now freaked out is not the word, I'm insulted, really. He looks like he doesn't believe me. He asks me to open the trunk, I do. He asks if they are all my bags, I say yes. I ask do they want to look in them. He says yes. The 2 officers proceed to completely unpack all my bags and go thru every item, including the 40 bars of soap.

I'll be back

Wow this is better than a novel. I can't wait to find out what happened with the french officers!

Jeepers. I have to find out what happened now. (and I only clicked on this to check out the Rome section lol!!)

Ah laartista, I am enjoying your trip report so much. Something fun to sneak a peek at during my dreary work day.
Encore!

This is an incredible start to my day - finding this trip report! I want to hear more about your Jewish mother being baptized...I want to hear more about your art (is your work online?)...I want to hear more about the French polic....

This is a wonderful report! I'm looking forward to the rest of the trip.

Hey Forty and Fabulous, you can't leave us hanging like this!

By the way, when I went to my 30th high school reunion with my best friend from high school, we both stayed with our mothers, who both still live in our old houses. I drove her to the reunion. We ended up staying until 1 AM. It wasn't until the next week that my friend told me her mother had already called the police and reported her missing.

She had a good laugh imagining the reaction when the police asked ,"How old is your daughter?" and her mother said, "47".

Hey, we need more! I'm leaving for Rome in two days, and I want to read that part. Of course, I want the rest inbetween as well. I also clicked on this mainly for the Rome part, but now I want all the details of the whole thing!

I cannot take a shower or leave here until I read what happens next!!

40 bars of soap LOL

The police thing sounds very scary - at the time - but is a hoot to read! I would have freaked out though. LOVE your sense of adventure. I travel solo alot and am 52 but I'm pretty conventional - but really admire people like you who can go with the flow. The little towns sound fantastic and I am planning a trip to Provence in the future. Leaving for Switzerland next tues with a friend - wish we could have some funny stories to tell on our return.

This gets better and better, I haven't had so much fun reading for awhile.

Crikey, cocaine trafficking...can't wait to hear how this ends. We got pulled over by the police in Germany last November and it was really scary. Fortunately they let us go after a brief interrogation.

Thanks for your report on some of my favourite places in France; I can't wait to hear what you think of Nice. And, I second dorkforcemom, I'd love to see your work if it's online.

What a great report! This is very timely-I'm headed to the north of France in May and will be driving solo.

More, more, more please! Waiting to hear how the police interrogation turned out!

Hello laartista, we all waiting.....

I remember one time when we came back from Canada and got stopped. Our car, luggage, purse completely searched. Innocent as can be but I was so scared LOL. Can only imagine how I would have felt in your shoes laartista.

Now continue please!!

Wow, thanks all for your interest. So my work is not on-line but I'll try to post some pix.
Nikki-when my mom doesn't hear from me and I say I'm not a child her reply is always the same-your my child. That's how moms are.
Dork- briefly mom is hungarian came to the states after WW2. Her brother and father were taken to labor camps and oldest sister to concentration camp. Her and other sister and grandma hid in a catholic family basement. Her and her sister were baptised so they could have papers to go to school. It makes sense now that I've been dating Irish-catholic guys my whole life. I'm gonna finish this post now.

but come back soon

Alright-sorry had some biz calls to make today.

After my trunk and bags were searched I figured they have got to be done. Now I'm just plain annoyed. I say fine, finito, o.k. No not done. The officer hands me back me purse and proceeds to search inside the car. Seats, glove compartment, under and in our coats. I'm just shaking my head. Finally he hands me back both passports and the rental agreement and says O.K. Have a nice trip. HAVE A NICE TRIP? are you kidding me buddy. I walk to the front of the car where Jess, is yakking it up with her 2 officers. Seems she told them about the Moulin Rouge and they were very impressed.

Back in the car we just look at each other. Can you believe this? I asked if they searched her purse. No, she said. NO, why not, they searched mine and everything is out of the luggage in the trunk! She said really? Yes, Really! What did they ask you ? We compare notes as we drive off.

They asked Jess questions like this: Where you going? Where you coming from? How long do you know HER ?(me)How well do you know HER? How long have you been travelling with HER? Getting the jist here. I'm like are you kidding me. I tell her about the cocaine inquirey and she starts laughing. Apparently Jess wasn't under suspicion at all. She was an innocent to me being a drug trafficker. She's like , Well, 2 young girls in a rent-a -car from the states... I interrupt her , I'm 40! She says yeah, but you don't look it and if when I'm 40 I look... I shoot her a look and say Jess Don't make me bitch slap you. We both start laughing. Now I don't know if this has happened to anyone else. Did I fit the description of a petite, brunette drug dealer cruising the riviera in a leather jacket? Maybe.

You had me with pillows the size of m and m's...the rest is pure gravy. Keep it coming!

lol, maybe it was the leather jacket!!
One year I was stopped at customs because something set off a security warning Everyone was staring as they emptied my luggage.
It was a big rock that was smooth from years of being washed at the Pont de Gard that triggered the false alarm. They all laughed it was some mineral in the rock.

Still Day 5-

The highway signs down to the riviera towns are really cool. Very deco/ New Orleans Jazz posterish (like Bush, I too make-up words) We are so excited to get there, we are running late due to our detainment, but hey ,it's better than ending up like Clair Danes in Brokendown Palace. St. Tropz, Cannes etc. the signs pass. Ooh, Ooh it's Nice!!! We drive along the road that becomes Promenade De Englais. Passed the airport( which is very nice with alot of artwork) oohing and ahhing. The sky is soooo blue as is the water, and the craggy coastline with the densely packed houses mostly in white and pastels. I'm telling you, I LOVED THE RIVIERA! I want to live there! It was perfect because there are people but it's not a mob scene cause it's end of Feb. In fact the next day is Jess's birthday (29) and Fat Tuesday all in one.

We initially park the car in an underground lot behind our hotel. Afterall I didn't want to drive up to valet like the Clampets and start repacking my suitcases. This is the French Riviera and I have class, so I repack them in the garage.LOL

Our hotel is AWESOME. I would recommend it to anyone and everyone. The Palais De La Mediteranee. Expedia bargain basement price of 179 US a night including breakfast which is usually 30 Euro pp. The hotel is located a short walk from the old town right on the promenade. It faces the beach and is actually 2 blocks closer to Old Town than the Negresco. The lobby is very deco as is the facade of the hotel. Soft muted browns and greys with punches of purple, orange and red, really sleek. Check in is smooth and we acquaint ourselves with the concierge who's name is... you guessed it Fabrice.

We are escorted to our room which isn't an ocean view but a great view of the mountains. It is a lovely room, soft yellow and dark brown, huge bathroom with a see thru sink, seperate shower and bath. Flat screen bang and olfsen T.V. that moves as you move in the room and big comfy beds with down pillows and blankets. Plus, a balcony. Psych. Especially Jess who just spent 3 days in a friends 300 sq. ft. apartment in the 6th in Paris sleeping on the floor.

We decide to get some lunch and head for Vence and St. Paul de Vence. It's about 3 pm.

LOL you guys are funny!

So what happend with the police!!!??? I just read 84 posts straight through...I have to know! lol

What a fabulous trip report!!! Thanks for posting laartista

oooh danger and intrigue...

I'm in..I'm reading. I'd travel with you...police problems and all! You can LAUGH!

I am so impressed that you could drive in Avignon & easily found your hotel in Nice. We spent forever trying to find our car return lot in Cannes after picking up car in Avignon. We spent a whole week in Gordes day tripping daily. Enchanting.

Love your sensa humor! Can't wait for more.

Shopping is faboo at the Provence markets but you take the cake with 40 bars of soap! Must've been fun packing for your return home. Please be sure to tell us about that.

Laartista, I've decided that you should make your trip report into a book, using your own illustrations. It's that good.

Now, who would you cast to play yourself and Jess when your book is inevitably made into a movie?

There are so many great travel reports on this forum that Fodor's should seriously consider publishing them!

a la The Transporter!
or John La Carre
even Peter Mayle
... you were in just the perfect place for this escapade.

Living in New York, you can almost expect to see something like this anywhere, but don't in your wildest dreams (as an innocent) expect to be right smack (ha! ha!) in the middle of this is a foreign country.

Lucky you weren't in Turkey!

This report is a pure gem! More, more....

Ya, she's funny and now with all that soap she'll smell nice.

were the policemen even cute?

Since you are 40 and FAB, I'll assume you always pay attention to these details...

This is hands down one of the best reports I've ever read. It also reminds me of my solo trip to Provence in 2003. As another artista, wasn't Roussillon heaven. Can't wait for Roma!!

LOL- this is fun! My clients who are waiting for their orders probably wouldn't think so- but what the heck.

Cob-I couldn't help myself with the soap, they were so cheap

Cocc- Now I do smell good and so does my luggage

Moo- funny you say that my mom suggested the same thing with the illustrations- so thanx

Onward to Vence and St. Paul de Vence. We are hungry so pick-up some sandwiches and sweets for the car ride plus I try this drink called Coke Blak. Coffee + coke made by coca cola-kind of gross. Back on to the highway from which we came to St. Paul first. I'm following the signs for St. Paul and must have taken a wrong turn cause we end up on this road with a trailer park and the signs say St. Paul. Jess asks is this St. Paul? I'm like yeah I thought you'de like to see a french trailer park. NO, it's not St. Paul!! Let me see that map. I don't know where we are and Mrs. GPS hasn't piped in for a while so I turn around, see a sign for Vence and decide we'll go there first.

We drive up the hills toward Vence it reminds me of Mulholland Drive in LA. In town we park in the tiniest,teeniest parking spot in a garage. Up the stairs ,elevator is busted onto an open square where men are playing Boule'(is that the correct name?)Just like A Year in Provence. Over to the tourist office for maps and directions to St. Paul.

We enter the old city walls and it is super cute and quiet. BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS CLOSED! Is it the February thing or the Monday thing but I'm not having alot of luck with things being open on this trip. We take lots of pictures and look in the windows of the stores we can't shop in. It's late in the afternoon about 4:30 and we decide to just go to St. Paul.

Man, what a good decision that was because this town is beyond super cute. We park across from a art center, that was closed, big suprise. We were trying to find coins for the meter machine and a nice french couple who came to go to the closed art place said take our ticket we have two hours on it. Hey ,thanx!

The view approaching the town is awesome, not as dramatic as Gordes but close. It's a pretty long walk from where we parked and it's late in the day. First street we walk onto me and Jess just look at each other and say No Way, this place is under adorable village in the dictionary. Cobble stone streets that wind with stairs and gallery after gallery after gallery of good art and craft, not the typical mass made crap. We virtually have the town to ourselves. First stop is a beautiful gallery with lovely paintings that remind me of Jane Wooster Scott with a french theme. I fell in love with one. 5400 Euro the sales girl says, I try not to flinch. She offers it to me for 4400 Euro. Well if I had an extra 4400 E lying around I'd extend my vacation. But I don't, if I were a drug trafficker maybe, but I'm not. Now I've sold stuff for that much, but to be honest I always get a little freaked out when someone buys an expensive piece from me because I can't afford to spend like that on artwork. Ironic isn't it. I'll think about , what was I to say. I do stop at a gallery with a sweet old man who does owl and cat ceramic pieces. He's more in my budget I buy something from him and have a nice discussion of the business of craft.

We spend a good 3 hours in St. Paul, took tons of pictures and I shopped til the stores closed. It's now dark and we've got fondue to get to.

Here's a link with some pix- I hope it works
www.bearcat.shutterfly.com

You are BOTH adorable, the photos are crystal clear and very good..made me grab my chair so I would not fall off the side of that cliff or down those stairs into the water!!
Thank you thank you!!
My husband hears me laughing and says, are you still reading that trip report
Yes, I say, and she had better continue to write for a looong time

What a fun read. And judging from the pix there's a whole lot more to come. Which is unfortunate since I've lots of real work to do and have just told my wife I'm still "working" and will be home later... Patiently waiting for the next installment!! Dave

Some beautiful shots of my loved Provence. Did you get to go into the Colombe D'or where we have stayed several tims? And if you went upstairs in the post office, there are huge photos of Yves Montand on the boule court. Thank you so much. i hope this ride is not over

Enjoying this SO MUCH and the pixs--terrific!! Can't believe your episode with the French police, but you handled it so well. I could tell you a very incredible story with my ex who actually ended up in a German prison 'cause they thought he had drugs (but he didn't), but this is your story and we're all enjoying it so much and am looking forward to more!

Ok, artlover, start a thread, we all have strange stories

You don't look like a drug smuggler!

Great photos! Are you going to add captions? Many of the places seem to call to me, but it would help to know their names.

Hi laartista!

I am a student who will be studying abroad this summer in provence region (either Arles or Aix). I love reading your postings here and your pictures are wonderful!

I was wondering, while you are there, did you find any good hotels for extended stay? I'm looking for a hotel that's not too expensive that I can afford on a "student's budget."

I have been to Nice and the Cote d'Azur region, but that was five years ago and back then I didn't speak any French (now I do, mais un peu).

Thanks!
nancicita

Great photos and composition.

The police stopped two pretty young women... real simple!

Can't wait to read the rest.

Breathtakingly gorgeous photos!--in addition to a wonderful read.
Thank you.
And I had to laugh when the photos ended and Shutterfly asked:
*What would you like to do next?*--referring, of course, to ordering pics

But my first thought was:
Book a flight!
Choose whether to spend my kids' college money on a trip to France or a trip to Italy <g>.

Loved the way you captured the winter light and the reminder that it is possible to enjoy travel in winter.
Again, thank you.

Oh thanls everyone.
Eliz-you gave me goosebumples. The thing about winter travel which is the only time I can get away is hotels and flights are much cheaper plus no lines anywhere. So, start filling your piggy bank. That's what I do.

Nan- Sorry no I don't know of any extended stay places but there are a ton of provence experts here that helprd with my trip and I'm sure they would know.

Artlover-please share!

I'm gonna grab some coffee and pick this story up.

Like everybody else - I just love your trip report, your humour, your beautiful photos!

Please, please post the next instalment!

After our day which seemed to be endless(and I'm sure to those reading also) we headed back to Nice for dinner. We went to a fondue place, which at my request someone on this board was so kind to google and locate. Now I don't want to hurt anyones business so I'm not going to say don't go there. But I will say I wouldn't go again. The name escapes me but it is Flintstone translated in French. You see I knew it was trouble when we got there at 9pm and besides the cook and waiter/ host guy who were chatting at the register, we were the only ones there. I felt bad leaving, they seemed sooo happy to see us. We satyed and had a Micky D's version of fondue.

Belly aches later I taught Jess how to play video poker over a glass of wine at the casino attached to our hotel. I love video poker.We lost. We turned in at midnight-there was alot on the docket for the next day.

Day 6-

Began with an awesome huge breakfast at the hotel. I'm talking morning breads of all types, 4 different kinds of sausage, bacon, buffet eggs(my Fav), omelets, smoked salmon, cheese and meats. We feasted. Oh, it's Jess's birthday. All day long I'm " It's your Birthday".

We get the car from the valet which cost 30 Euro a night. The garage cost 27 so I figured for the difference of 3 Euro, let them park it. We are on our way to St. Jean Cap' Ferrat, first stop. It is absolutely gorgeous out. Not a cloud in a really deep azure sky. The views from the road which hugs the coast are unbelievable and Jess keeps saying look and I'm trying to watch the road. Thru some other small towns and we make the turn to go see the Rothchild pad.

I'm telling you I could have sat in the parking lot of the mansion all day , the views were that amazing. We get the tickets, 8-10 Euro each I think and head into the house to tour the rooms. When you first enter it's a grand open space 2 stories high with columns and arches and marble and mosaic and awesome. This place is frilly but in a good way. Seems Beattrice really liked the color pink. From room to room we walk and look at the furnishings and dishes and whenever I'm in these old houses I think people seemed like they were smaller, shorter then they are now. Upstairs to watch a small informative film about the grounds. The top floor had some rooms to see but guess what? That's right--closed.

We head outside to what I think is the main attraction, the gardens. I'm breathless, they are huge, I think 8 major ones in all, all with different themes. Spanish, Italian, Japanese. Each garden had their own personality. At the far end of the main garden was a gazebo. In a big tree next to it was a giant squawking parrot. He flew off and I wondered whether he lived in these gardens and would be back. THere was a rose garden which was undergoing upkeep by the groundskeepers. Man, what a landscape architecture job this was. I could imagine Beatrice each day thinking, Oh, today I'll go hang out in the Japanese garden as she grabs her parasol.I mean when you have that much money-garden hopping is your job.

I, too, am enjoying this report immensely. And thanks for the wonderful pix!

Eager to read more when you have the chance.

Sorry hit the wrong button.

We spent a good amount of time at the Rothchild place and our next stop was Monte Carlo. The drive to Monte Cralo is a bit harrowing. Not as bad as the Amalfi Coast, but still harrowing. I swear I feel my neck tense up around every bend. We arrive in Monte Carlo. So this is where the rich and famous hang out. We park by the casino and it is quite the site. A far cry from Vegas where my parents happen to live. Funny how they park all those fancy cars in front, isn't it? Jess keeps saying I can't believe I'm in Monte Carlo on my birthday!

First stop is actually FNAC I need to offload my memory stick. O.K. so the machines in french, this takes a while, but 5 Euro later I've got plenty of room for new pix. Jess is waiting upstairs in this mall at a cafe. I meet her up there and she has herself seted at a small table in the middle of three other small tables each occupied by a Peirce Bronson look-a-like from Monaco. I walk over, lean in and say "Jess, what's going on? She whispers "Look at them, they are all gorgeous, like james Bond. I'm finding you a boyfriend! I cracked up. Let's go Jess. No! look they are all alone. I'm like yeah and two are wearing wedding bands, let's GO! Oh, I didn't check for that. well at 40 that's the first thing I notice.

We walk around, everyone is so happy here. Of course they are, you could eat off the sidewalks it's so clean and they all have health insurance.

We stop in Zara for some shopping. Jess buys a cute T-shirt for 12 Euro just so she can say she got it in Monte Carlo. It was funny. It's 1:30 and the casino is closed we wanted to look inside so we go to that huge cafe on the corner. Jess orders this awesome sherberty sundea with fresh fruits and I get a cappuccino. We sit and people watch. I have never seen soo many Ashly Olsen sized sunglasses, not even in LA. It was warmer abot 55 degrees and still fur coats walk buy. Italian men in skinny red pants-ICH! It's really a funny scene. I mean are these people really that pretentious or is it for the sake of being in Monte Carlo. We were being so catty.

to be continued

Thank you so much for this trip report. It is informative and entertaining at the same time. I'm a solo traveler and usually stick to large cities or places that are easily accessible by public transportation and where a car is not necessary.

For some time I have been considering traveling to Provence, renting a car and visiting several towns; but always hesitant about driving by myself. Because of your report I have decided to do it, hopefully in 2007. Thanks again.

LOL, Yes!! be catty!

Thank you for my morning laughs, now continue please

Just viewed the photos - they're amazing! This is one great trip report. Thanks for the laughs and the very important driving information! Waiting to hear about the rest of your trip!

Hey, thanx trav and scarlett

nw-you should go you are WOMAN (right?
) hear you roar!

In Monte Carlo at that cafe they have great bathrooms. Why? Because after you use the toilet a clamp comes down on the seat and sanitizes it with a cleaning liqid. Like a Romba for toilet seats. I thought it was really cool and Jess or usually goes with the trip[le lining approach at public toilets really loved it. That said I continue...

After a quick peek in the casino and a stroll we are off to Eze. Ah Eze. Those cliff photos are mostly from there. We arrive in Eze and park at the tourist office at the base of the hill and pick up some maps. As we start our walk up the hill which is steep enough ,I can't help thinking this is better than a stairmaster. I swear if my ass isn't 3" higher by the time I get home from all these perched villages and stairs I'm going to be pissed!

At the first landing we stop at the guy with the candy cart, gummy bears and candied almonds. As we munch we walk, higher and higher into the village. Now I 'e seen me share of perched villages on this trip but in my opinion this is the grand daddy of them. Once again the streets are fairly empty and I'm grateful for that, it makes for good photos. We stop and take a peek at the hotel and restaurant that hang off the cliff. Our destination is the gardens at the top, and I'm talking the top. When you get up there you feel like you are in the sky. Because it's still cold alot of the plants are covered by white plastic but that doesn't take anything away from the beauty of this place. Up and down the stone stairs we climb, me cautiously holding the railings and Jess skipping by. The women sculptures that inhabit this place are simplistic and dramatic at the same time. At certain angles they appear to be floating like angels that guard their garden. Some places make me cry. When the beauty is that overwhelming I just find myself getting emotional. Eze was like this. We make our way down to a deck area with gigantic wooden lounges and settle in. We can see the road from here and I get palpatations looking at it from this height. That's nuts we drove on that. We sit there not saying anything to each other for a long time. The sun feels warm because we are high up and I just really don't want to leave. Eventually we do. Stopping on our way down in some shops where I buy a new placemat for Kitty and a ceramic piece for me.

We get in the car to head back to Nice. Afterall it's Jess's B-day and Fat Tuesday and we have a parade to attend. We got stuck in some really bad traffic heading back. I kept thinking it must be a parking lot here in the summer. Finally back at the hotel, hand the keys to the valet and get cleaned up for the festivities. Not much time though it's 7pm and the parade starts at 9. We decide to grab a cocktail and we'll do dinner after the parade.

The grandstands are set up, beginning across from the park at the Le Meridien hotel and stretch down the promenade toward old town. Their are tons of people, all the towspeople and lots and lots of children in costumes.We pop in Meridien for a drink but not before we support the local vendors and load up on silly string, confetti and wind wheels. After all this is my first Mardi gras and Jess's and we want to be prepared.

tbc

Those toilets are mind-blowing, aren't they? They aren't just in Monte Carlo; we saw them in the Nice airport, Fondation Maeght, and even in a little restaurant in St. Paul de Vence. My husband was so impressed he couldn't resist taking a movie of one in action, which you can see, if you have a highspeed connection and QuickTime at:
http://rozault.com/riviera2005/SpinToiletCD.mov

Really enjoying your report, laartista.

Glad to see this still going, laartisa, I lost $10 in the slot machine at Monte Carlo and I think all those flashy dressers were tourists trying to look like locals as most of the residents were conservative. I saw my first robot toilet in the Maeght foundastion too and dragged my husband in to see it in action. I knew I hadn't taken LSD

Bookmarking! Living vicariously!

Looking to read more, fab 40.

hey cig and nonna- yeah aren't those toilets amazing-do we have them in the U.S?

This installment might be long- a few days

We are enjoying our cocktails when we hear music coming from the street. The parade is starting- we leave our Euros on the table, fly out of the bar, down the escalator and passed the doorman armed with our mardi gras props. We acted like such geeks. There was noone in the stands ,all the people were on the streets so we follow the crowd down the promenade to where the parade would start. And it does.

First comes every child in all of the riviera it seems. In groups, by neighborhood or school I dont know but they are all wearing different types of black and white costumes. We kept trying to figure out why but didn't.Jess is spraying them withe string while I throw the confetti and they are lovin it. Oh boy, here come the floats. One, two three... Yeah that's it, 3 floats and one was a firetruck so not technically a float. Big creepy king with swirling head float and gigantic blow-up doll complete with boobies and ass in the air , a dozen french men dressed as hookers dancing float. Yep the Mardi Gras parade. We go have dinner.

Jess wanted mussels so we went to a small cafe on the restaurant row at the edge of the old town. I can't recall the name but it was a great meal mostly because the owner ended up sitting with us and we closed the place. We talked about everything and yes, politics. He talked about how prude america was with the Lewinsky thing. He said Chirac, who he didn't much care for, had a mistress and then he said do you know what his wife does? I said have a boyfriend? And he replied while making bull ears with his fingers, No, she has 2. He was really funny. It's really late and Jess leaves tomorrow back to the U.S and we try to change her ticket to stay after much coaxing on my part but Air France just wouldn't.

Day 7 Alone again naturally

Up early, trolley full of breakfast to the room so we could eat on the balcony. Packed and ready to go. Make a stop at the Russian church which was under a bunch of scaffolding and much smaller inside than I expected. Then to the airport. I decide to gas up again cause I'll return the car at the airport with Jess instead of dropping her off and backtracking to the train station.

Nice airport is really cool. Returning the car was easy but sad. Although we had a rough start together- we bonded this past week and she done good by me. I walk over with Jess to the terminal, she had no luggage I gave her the straw bag from the market, didn't want her travelling with a shopping bag. Said our goodbyes.

No car, no friend, could be a bummer but it was a sunny awesome day. Taxi, take me to old town. 25 Euro later, expensive I thought, airports pretty close. I tooled around old town and to be honest not my favorite part of Nice. Seemed commercial, stores all selling the same crap-didn't float my boat so I go for a walk on pebble beach.It was very relaxing and after the past 2 days which were marathon I was tired and just wanted to chill, so I did. While chilling I decide I really hate my hair-having a bad hair day. What's a girl to do? Get a french haircut. All the good hairdressers are from France ,so why not. I'll tell you why not.

On Rue Massenet, just off the promenade by the girl at receptions suggestion THE BEAUTY INSTITUTE. They are closed. What else is new. But, a few stores down a hair salon, an empty hair salon. I walk in and ask for a shampoo and cut. Now I will tell you no bar, best shampoo of my life,in a massage chair. Awesome!The tall good looking French guy ( really they are all handsome over there)begins to cut my hair. I asked for a trim. Showed him how much to cut off. With 3, I'm not kidding, scissors in hand Francois Scissorhands chopped and chopped . My face was contorting and he actually asked if I was scared I said Oui, I am. 5 inches and a million feathers later I got me a french haircut. Don't like it-bad decision, now I need a drink.

I just hung out the rest of the day, dropped by the modern museum, Chagall was closed for renovation which was the one I really wanted to see. Had a 40$ club sandwhich at the hotel bar and turned in early I had an early am train to Torino. One word --Mistake.

Ouch laartista, your last day in Nice sounds like a bummer but it's great that you and Jess had such a good time together. Hopefully you'll get to visit her in Paris.

Francois Scissorhands is my favourite line thus far...

Next time (and I'm sure there'll be a next time) you get to Nice you should see the Matisse and the Chagall museums: so much inspiration for an artist.

I'm looking forward to the Italy portion.

Train to Torino wsa early like 8 with a change in Genoa where I would have a 2 hour layover. I know that station and wasn't thrilled with the prospect of spending 2 hours there. Ride to Genoa was really nice, train hugs the coast for a while and you can tell when you cross into Italy because everything looks a little more run down .I arrive at Genoa, am slightly distracted by all the cute guys with their ski bags and notice the train right across the track says Torino. I ask the tren Italia girl if I can take that one instead, she says o.k and I'm in Torino by 1:00.

It's grey, it's cold, I should have stayed on the riviera where it was the nicest day yet. Taxi to my hotel in the lingotto area Hotel AC Turin. Four Kilometers from city center. Ugh! The hotel was beautiful, super modern and I was paying 130 Euro a night. Check out the room, very hip on the masculin side, free mini bar, Whoo Hoo, breakfast is included.

Down at reception I ask for a taxi, just not into walking 4 Kil. that day. Taxi to center is 11 Euro each way. Only second time this trip I've worn these certain boots and like the first day, step in another pile of dog poop.

Torino, what to say, I don't know, wasn't in love. It's got a gritty charm I guess but they were definitely experiencing a huge Olympic hangover. It had only ended 4 days before and there was breakdown construction everywhere. I had never been to Torino and my mother ,a huge Today Show fan kept saying Katie and Matt and Al say this , and they say that,and I think you should go, it looks beautifiul on the T.V. Maybe it was just a bad week to be there. I didn't do much that day walked the arcades, went to the squares, got my bearings. I did stop at an Olympic Superstore and that place looked worse than after The Running of the Brides at Filenes Basement.

I had a gelato, hadn't eaten all day and at 6pm headed back to my hotel where I would have dinner that night. Scallop risotto and a glass of wine. It was pretty good. Tomorrow I was going to make the most of my 1 full day in Turin so I got some rest.

Making bull ears with his fingers? You are a scream. How is that done?

Running of the brides in Filene's Basement...LOl, I got got up in that one morning. It's my stomping ground.

There is a Filenes in Manhattan..

I am sorry that the French haircut was not satisfactory, but at least you can complain about the lousy haircut I got in Nice

Sorry, I thought we had the only bridal stampede here in Boston. So laartsta mght come here on day to see the main action.

I'm almost sure the restaurant owner was making the hand gesture for being "cocu" or cuckold in English! Very funny.
See the photo at this website
http://french.about.com/library/weekly/aa020901t.htm

I'm enjoying this so much--even the bad haircut--you really have to have a great sense of humor to be able to laugh at that!

OK, sharing time from the French Police incident which reminded me this:

My ex and I were living in Munich and he went on a trip to Kabul to bring back Afghan handicrafts to sell (this was in the 70s still). Well, he got to the border and the German police thought he had drugs (shoulder length hair etc.) and arrested him and put him in jail. Luckily, we had a very good German friend who was a lawyer and got him out...but at the trial when they asked him his mother's maider name and he answered "Hashmall" the entire courtroom hushed so much you could have cut the air with a knife..."hashmall" means "have some more hashish in German"...our lawyer friend spoke up: "That's with 2 lls."

Again, laartista--great report!

Artlover, LOL!! Too funny, but sure it was not at the time!

laartista, again, your trip report is such a delight! I am enjoying every word. You have given me so many chuckles, although I know a bad haircut (even in Nice) is not funny.

LOL LOL LOL-

Cmcfong-LOL, I meant bull HORNS! Ears LOL, Oh man, I'm crying over here laughed so hard ,I need a tissue
and actually

Sfar- Yes that was the gesture. It means cuckoo? You could see how I would think it was bull horns, right?

Cig-Indeed, I meant the one in Boston. The original crazy gathering of woman on the desperate hunt for their wedding dress. Lived in Boston/ actually Cambridge from 92-96. Boston is and always will be my favorite U.S. city.You are lucky to live there.

Mvor and Scarlett-Yeah, hair grows, and it made for a funny memory so until May we're in a pony tail.

I'm sorry to top, I forgot Art Lover LOL, HASHMALL? Lol That's classic

Great trip report and pics laartista! Just bringing this ttt so I can find it easier.

It broke my heart to leave Newbury street after 30 some years but real estate prices soared after the Euro crowd moved in. I'm across the bridge in the people's republic of Cambridge(port)

ttt

Day 9 I think--Torino grows on me.

I awoke after a great night's sleep and took full advantage of my included " American style" breakfast buffet. Got a taxi to head into town. I wasn't coming back until I had seen all I could in my one full day in Torino.

I had the driver drop me off at the Egyptian museum (Museo Egizio). It was centrally located and a good starting point. Torino was still filled with olympic stragglers and alot of them were at this museum. Although small, the architecture of the space was interesting and stretched over 3 floors. They had a nice collection of sculpture( a ton with lions head/womans body-the name escapes me). Tools and pottery, tombs and audio always comes in handy. I enjoyed this museum.

Next I headed over to the Palazzo Reale for a royal tour. You have to hang around because they only leave at certain times. The walk to the Palace from the museum was nice thru the Piazza Castello and onto the square where the palace sits. All the piazzas it seemed had these shopping arcades running along side them. Shop after shop , block after block ,there are ALOT of stores in this small city.

It was very cold and grey and I kept looking for the mountains in the distance but never saw any. After the palace I strolled thru the adjacent park and back around thru the palace square back toward Piazza San Carlo. Oh ,on Piazza Castello was still erect the medals stage where they awarded the athletes, I took a picture. It looked like a giant silver ball.

Piazza San Carlo is the famous one where the twin churches San Carlo and San Cristina stand by each others side. It is also where the Today show filmed from everday and their stage was still there. It was tiny in comparison to the square. A huge square totally surrounded by those covered arcades. I was hungrier than usual today, maybe because of the big breakfast. As I walked thru the square I noticed the cafe Martinis, I believe it's well known. It was beautiful inside, very elegant. I had gnocchi in gorgonzola. Talk about heavy. With each bite I could feel muffin top coming, dunlop disease. I made it half way thru my dish and could't eat another bite. I think those Gnocchi expand like sponges when they hit your stomach. I was not too full however to indulge in one of those coffee mixed with chocolate drinks. Torino it seems is really famous for chocolate. They have these drinks everywhere and I think they are delicious. Two of my fav things mixed together. I don't even remember how many I had that day.One funny note, the waiter this young guy, told me that english spoken by New Yorkers is the hardest to understand because they talk so fast nad their accents but because there were so many in Turin for the olympics he now has no problem understanding them/me

After lunch I indulged in some shopping, just doing my part to support the returning Turin economy. They've had some promblems you know.

I know that the The Shroud of Turin is the must see, but it's not actually the shroud it's a gigantic sepia print, so I skip it. I'll swing by in 2025 when it's displayed again. I do decide to check out the Cinema Museum which is supposed to be great.

I'm walking and walking to the Cinema Museum and then there was a little incident concerning a horrible ragazza (about 20-22 in age)hitting her dog and me thinking out loud. I'm going to post here so I can figure out how to word this exchange. It was a bit heated. I've been typing off the cuff but here I want to be careful.

I would have "Lost it"

laartista, this just gets better and better!

Cig-I wanted to lose it , right away but I was thinking I'm an American tourist, Olympic host city, peace on earth blah, blah, blah...

Hey Tex-thanks

Here goes- I'm about 8 or so blocks from the Cinema Museum and walking in front of me a few feet is a girl about 20 or so walking her dog. Medium size mutt. I notice cause I am a huge animal lover. Dog was cute. Then I notice her lift her hand and before she even touches him, which she did, he yelps which led me to believe this was not the first time. Now ,you know when you think something and accidently say it aloud without knowing it, Yep that's what I did.

I thought I only thought POOR DOG, but actually I had said it. Then I thought ,did I just say that? and before I could finish my thought, she whips around and yells " WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? YOU THINK YOU"RE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS ENGLISH? YOU DON"T KNOW ME,OR MY DOG!! MY DOG HAS A LEARNING DISABILITY.(she actually said that and I thought, yeah, he's a dog) Oh my God ,she heard me, a deer caught in the headlights-what to do. Just look at your map ,don't answer, just look at your map. And I did, just look at my map. For 3 blocks this girl shouted and ranted every 4 letter english word ,and a few in Italian for good measure, and I, just looked at my map. Horrified ,I was, because with periphial vision I could see the passerbys staring, mostly at her.

Now I could have turned the corner, but my museum was straight ahead and I was letting her verbally abuse me but I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction of scaring me off the street. I'm stubborn like that.

Here's the thing, I have a long fuse but if you push the right button I could give you a Julia Sugerbaker tongue lashing like nobody's business. And those who know me were suprised I hadn't.... yet.

I'm holding my tongue for 3 blocks when she's says the one thing that set me off. "YOU ARE NOT POLITE!!!" Oh no she didn't! I am polite , very. And that is when I lost it on her.I was pissed calling me not polite.

In my best Deniro imitation (I swear I had channeled his charachter from Taxi driver,)NOT POLITE? I AM POLITE. She just stared, could't believe this woman who for 3 blocks had only looked at her map was actually speaking. I continue not really yelling but in a raised voice which makes me sound like minnie mouse. I say, If I weren't polite I would have told you to stop flapping your trap 3 blocks ago, but, I didn't because I AM polite. And, If I weren't polite I would have told you what a horrible ragazza you are for abusing your pet, but,I didn't because I AM polite. And finally, if I weren't polite, I would have told you to go F@#% yourself in 5 different languages(which I really don't know but it sounded good) but, I didn't because I AM polite. I AM POLITE!! I was shaking.

She couldn't believe it.She was in shock. SHE turned the corner. I had chased HER from the street. Now some readers may think this was a case of Ugly American. Maybe it was, but man, she had it coming, I have no tolerence for people who abuse animals, or me. NONE.

I continue another few blocks and arrive at the Cinema Museum. this will be good I can forget about what just happened. Walk in ,sign in the lobby CLOSED! Unbelievable.

What a great response to that pathetic SOB!!! I'll bet you weren't shaking near as much as that poor dog. Hope he bites her, hard and where it hurts.

I've posted before about how much I like this report, but your last entry had me ROTFLMAO!!

For one thing, I used to live in Boston, was married to a Bostonian, so I know the attitude...Plus I am a Southerner and we always try to be civil if not polite, but when somebody just chaps my ass, buddy, my neck turns red in a heartbeat.
C'mon, I live in a part of the world where "He just deserved to die" is still a legal defense, so if someone had mistreated their dog, abused me verbally for 3 blocks, and then said I wasn't Polite...I think I woulda knocked the ignorant bitch down, stuffed Beggin'Strips up her nose, and told her dog to have at it, you know what I mean?

Congrats to you for being so restrained!

you are AWESOME!!!! I'm the deer in the headlights until after the fact, and that's when I think of everything I wish I had said. Poor dog....

Poor doggie, let's hope he escapes from Cruella the Zingarelle.

I become a tiger if I see anyone strike a child or an animal, right on laartista, my kind of friend!

As a big doglover and A POLITE PERSON I was right with you every second!!! You go, girl!!! This trip report rocks!

Ugly? Not at all laartista - People who stand up in defense of other beings are beautiful indeed!

Good for you.

I love your trip report (smile).

Hi laartista, how terrible for you and the poor little dog. But I have seen dogs mistreaded in Italy before..they also are often dumped on the side of the road when family's want to take their vacation. Good for you girl, you go! LOL. And another closed sign, sigh, do they see you coming? So enjoying your report laartista.

Wow! I just came to do a little research for the Italy portion of our trip and stumbled across this gem! When complete, you must submit your report and pictures to the editors. This should definitely be a "featured" trip report.

Thanks for the laughs! Can't wait to read more!

OK, maybe I am just channeling Tom Cruise....I LOVE THIS WOMAN!

laartista, YOU GO, GIRL. I cannot believe that crazy b**** was mistreating her dog. Poor dog. I have a dog myself; I love animals and I know exactly how you feel when you saw that poor dog with that IMPOLITE b!$%*. You were very classy when you held your temper for three blocks. I would have completely lost it and cursed the @%$**^#@$^$#@ outta that !%^@#$%!!!

Good for you, laartista.

Brava!! laartista

topping

Such a FABULOUS trip report, laartista.

Waiting for MORE!

Hey, until you finish this trip report you are not allowed to have a life, sleep, eat, etc!!!

I'm at least 5 hours ahead of you, and have checked in several times today for the next installment, and soon I have to go to bed and I want to know WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!

Please post again soon...

I have been "lurking" on Fodor's for a couple of years, enjoying the trip reports, wondering, sometimes, at the vitriol, wishing I could go on a fantastic trip, come back and wow the fodorites with a mesmerizing account of fascinating happenings....hasn't occured, probably won't, but vicariously is better than not at all (I think)....and, now! comes the articulate, funny, "fabulous" laartista, setting new standards for trip reports....Lady, if I were thirty years younger...and single....I would pursue you to the ends of the earth!....thank you so much for the delightful words that have offered so much pleasure to me and, obviously, so many others....."dupher"

Oh my gosh, thanks everyone for you kind comments and supportive words. I was going to omit that at first, I wasn't sure how to approach it. I'm glad to see so many animal lovers out there.

Your replies were hysterical:
Robdaddy: It took me a while to figure out what ROTFLMAO meant. You are too funny beggin strips up her nose-classic!

Dupher so so sweet-thank you

Cmcfong-channeling Tom Cruise, does that mean I'll be 5 months pregnant by Monday?

Mvor-Cruella the Zingerelle-LOL

E1 else thanks for posting and reading

I'm gonna post this and then type next installment because I type slow.

O. K so Friday in Torino started out great, hit a snag, one chocholaty coffee drink and a new pair of shoes later and I'm good to go. I head toward Piazza Carlo Felice which butts up on the train station. I had stopped and used the internet because the next morning I was leaving for Florence. The only morning direct train with no changes left at 7:10 am so I decide to buy my ticket now, which for me is a super responsible move.I think it was around 40 Euro on the Eurostar train. I needed some more cash so I stop at an ATM and it won't give me money, on to the next one-no money. For some reason my BofA card only worked in some machines and this only happened in Turin. Weird. I stroll around the city for a while and at around seven grab a taxi back to the AC hotel. I had to pack for my morning departure. No dinner that night, all those coffee drinks all day left me without an appetite.

Wake-up call at 5:30 sucked. I don't function well in the early morning. I drag my suitcase down to reception and get a taxi. The train station is quite busy for a Saturday morning.

Chivalry is not dead in Italy. The men see a gal with a huge rolling red suitcase and they come right over to lift it up onto the train. I love that! My bag which is bursting at the seams filled with lavender, soaps and herbs de provence has turned into a giant 30", 80 LB. sachet.

The ride from Turin to Florence was a nice one ,about 4 1/2 hours thru the countryside. I had forgotten to stick my ticket in the yellow machine so when the ticket guy came thru and said something to me I just played dumb tourist. Oh., I didn't know. He gave me a warning and thankfully no fine

I arrive in Florence around 11:30-12 and get a taxi to my hotel which was about 5 blocks away. Hey, I didn't know that. I had been to Florence twice before in the last 7 years but did not ever forget how beautiful it is.

At my hotel ,The Savoy, a man with a top hat and clipboard meets me at the door. Name please, I say Brody. Welcome to the Savoy Ms. Brody. Grazie, I think I'm gonna like it here. And I do, I really really do.

The Savoy is located on the Piazza de la Repubblica. Great location in front of the Duomo and a few minute walk to the river Arno. Check in is a breeze, they give me a welcome package and this place is SWANK! I got a rate of 209 Euro a night but it did not include breakfast. I chose this hotel because of the location and to be honest the pix on the web were great.

Down the completely white on white on white hallway to my room on the first floor.My room was small, but so nice I didn't care. Huge walk in closet with minibar that held 6 Euro cans of diet coke-I did not indulge. I mean that's ridiculous. Furnished in white with a few punches of red and yellow,and dark furniture, very high recessed ceiling which made the room feel bigger. Great bathroom, marble and mosaic and the best part a window that opened up to reveal the tower of the Duomo. I want to live at the Savoy.

I didn't really have a plan of action and because I had seen all the museums on previous trips this day I would just hang around town.

It was pretty cold out, but I decide to head up to the market by San Lorenzo. The streets are packed here in Florence and for the first time this trip I'm hearing almost too much english. Americans everywhere. Whereas in France I saw virtually none. There is a huge American student population on study abroad programs there and they were out in force. Alot of them with their parents, maybe it was spring break. And, they were all at the San Lorenzo market.

On my way to market I walk up Via Roma which is the street my hotel is on and turn the corner to the left, I see it. THE DUOMO. This is one crazy big church. It was partly scaffolded and looked much dirtier than last time I saw it but not any less awesome. It's just so huge and you feel so small and it's a picture you don't even need a camera for ,it stays imprinted on your brain.

I continue on to the market.I didn't buy anything, I had on prior trips but this time I just people watched. I did stop for a quattro stagioni pizza which I love. Four quarters, 1 olive, 1 artichoke, 1 ham, 1 mushroom--delicious.Pizza is a bargain in Italy 7-10 Euro and I can never finish them.

I walk all the small streets around the duomo just soaking the city up. I head toward the Ponte Vecchio. Each piazza I come to there are tons of people, street musicians, watercolor artists. It's now about 3:30 and everyone it seems has a gelato. Gelato in a cone, gelato in a dish- I need a gelato too.

Wow laartista, you got a good rate for the Hotel Savoy!! I love that hotel and the location too. And yes, Florence can get crowded, but it is so beautiful and I agree the Duomo stays in ones mind forever, sigh.

I Walk with my gelato across the Ponte Vecchio and don't stop to look at all the jewelers, I'm just not that into jewelry. I like the other side of town. Stayed there before. It's a little quieter. Up past the Pitti Palace and over to Piazza Spirito taking just a few pictures. My first trip to Florence I took about 150 so these were fill-ins. It's around 6:00 pm and I decide to go have a beer at the bar at my hotel.

The bar overlooks the piazza and in warmer weather they open the doors and there is outside seating. But today is cold and I sit right at the bar. Drinks are expensive here but I figure my perch is a prime location from which to people watch. One of my favorite past times. The way too young for me bartender tells me what beautiful eyes I have. Bella he says. Of course he does, that's what Italian men do.

As I look out the window sipping my draft beer I think Kudos to the Italian women. These women of all shapes and sizes walk, no, they saunter, across the cobblestone streets in 4" stilletto heels without so much as a wobble. It's truely amazing to watch since I've been tripping over the toes of my cowboy boots all day. The thing is ,if you pay attention ,the heel hardly ever touches the ground, they walk practically on the balls of their feet. Amazing!

After my cocktail I go for another stroll and it's gotten darker out. Since the sun has gone down, the guys with all the fake handbags and sunglasses are out on the street, lined up one after another. Gucci, Fendi, Hermes fagazzi's on blankets that they eventually fold up and carry like Santa Claus with his sack. Funny thing is, the guys in New York transport and display the exact same way. I mean is there a fake designer handbag sellers school that they all attend?

I clean up for dinner and went right out the hotel doors to Cafe' Gilli, ever so touristy but conveniently located for a girl who's pads hurt from walking all day and just wants some pasta.

I don't bother bringing a book or anything to keep me occupied because I am much more entertained by just looking around.

A glass of wine, bottle of water, spinach ravioli in butter and sage, and a cafe later ...28 euro. Actually it was good. I can't believe it's almost 11:00 and the streets seem like they are first starting to fill. Florence has by far been the most crowded of all the places I've visited this trip and it's only the first week of March. July must be a nightmare.

Day 11- It's Sunday, It's Pouring

I got up at around 9 Sunday morning and the only thing I'm missing from home right now is Meet The Press. I open the shutters and it is pouring out. And cold. I was to go to Arezzo for the antiques fair held the first weekend of each month but opt out due to the weather. I order up some 7 Euro coffee-ridiculous, I know ,and wonder if anything will be open-it is Sunday.

Everything is open. Well almost everything. I thought things and stores were closed on Sunday-not anymore, there are tourists to sell to,alot of them and it seems the Italians have caught on.

Downstairs at concierge I ask where I can get an umbrella. The doorman hands me a nice big Savoy umbrella- I love the Savoy. Out into the rain I'm headed to the Pitti Palce. Thru the rain, the puddles, the wind I arrive drenched like everyone else.

I'm psyched because although I have seen the palace before the Costume Museum was closed on prior visits. Hey, things are turning around for me, Yipee ! It's OPEN! This is a really interesting collection if you like fashion or even if you don't. It follows clothing up to modern day Armani. Gown after gown, you can see how people get progressively larger thru the ages. I very much enjoyed this museum. What I didn't enjoy were the 4 flights of stone stairs to get up there.

I walk down two flights to the residences and take a walk thru. Blue room, red room, green room, overly ornate room. You have to be careful because at some of these museums if you get too close to something, bells start buzzing, you jump back and feel like you have just left Bloomingdales with an electronic tag still on your purchase.

It's still pouring and good thing cause I probably would have forgot my umbrella from coat check.

I've been terrible with restaurant choices this trip opting most times for convenience rather than quality and I think here I go again. Right across the street to Cafe' Pitti. Lunch special is 15 Euro 2 courses and cafe, I'm in.

I am seated at the very back of a narrow side room up aginst a window-can you say claustraphobic. 6 inches in front of me is an older British couple. I might as well have joined them , I was practically sitting at their table. My food was good. I had the gnocchi(have you picked up on the trend) in tomato sauce followed by a caprese salad. Simple and yummy. The Britsh couple had, she-gnocchi like me and he- salad then, she-the pork loin and he the beef. She didn't particularly care for her pork, they did however enjoy their two bottles of wine, one red, one white. Told you I was sitting on top of them. LOL.

continue later

well, what did they talk about

"Chivalry is not dead in Italy. The men see a gal with a huge rolling red suitcase and they come right over to lift it up onto the train. I love that! My bag which is bursting at the seams filled with lavender, soaps and herbs de provence has turned into a giant 30", 80 LB. sachet."

LaArtista...you really crack me up! 80 lb. sachet...is it now sitting in your lingerie drawer making everything smell nice?

Lol LowC, no but my storage closet sure smells nice.

Ciga- you are funny, I remember thinking while they were ordering they are sitting sooo close. Then her remark about the pork was pretty loud .When your alone you pretty much hear everything so I usually try to tune people out when I can . Don't recall what they spoke about, I probably didn't listen. LOL


After lunch I headed over to Palazzo Vecchio. It's one of my favorite sites in Florence. I much prefer the decorative arts and interiors as opposed to what I call Bloody Religious art. I can appreciate the execution of those paintings but after the 15th one, well. The Palazzo was very crowded with people wanting to get out of the rain. I particularly like the courtyard there. It is really beautiful.

Oh no, migraine hits, first time this trip, probably from the rain. I don't know if any of you get them but they are a nightmare and it forces me back to my room to lay there in the dark for the next 4 hours. Horrible.

I can't find the card for where I ate dinner that night, but it was good. I had spaghetti carbonara followed by a cafe and some italian cookies. The rain had stopped so I took a walk to the river and then turned in for the night.

Day 12-Siena

Today I take a day trip to Siena. The concierge said the bus is the better option and they leave frequently. I head up to Santa Novello train station where the bus leaves from, I see a bus ask if it's for Siena, he says yes. The hotel told me I could get the ticket from the driver which turned out to be untrue. By the time I had gotten the ticket, The bus was gone. A note: the bus is big and blue referred to as the SITA bus, and the stop is out front of the train station under the overhang and says ES for eurostar. Next one in an hour but the train was leaving in 10 minutes. I rush over to the newstand which is where you get the train ticket to Siena-5 Euro. Run to platform one and get on the train. Now the bus takes about an hour and is direct. The train however makes alot of stops and took over 2 1/2 hours because it sat at one town extra long. The train is not a particularly scenic ride.

I arrive at the Siena train station and had no idea how to get to center, I didn't research well. I took a taxi for 5 Euro but there is a bus I hear. The driver drops me by the backside of the Campo which is the main piazza in Siena. The Campo is a huge piazza shaped like the floor of an amphitheatre and slopes downward toward the town hall. It was a very sunny day but cold and windy. Still there were alot of young people sitting on the sloped square that is surrounded by cafes and shops.

My first stop was the Museo Civico housed in the Palazzo Pubblico which has the clock tower which is also the town hall. The museum was interesting but what I found most interesting more than the actual collection were the ornately detailed painted walls and ceilings of the space. They are painted in typical tuscan colorways and were vey beautiful.

From there I walk the windy, ancient streets of lovely Siena to the piazza where the Duomo sits. There is alot to see there so leave time. I bought a multi=ticket that covered 5 sites. Duomo, bapistry,museo dell'opera, I want to say catacombs-but I didn't go to that so I'm not sure.The fifth was the Oratorio di San Bernadino other side of village on San Francesco piazza.

O.k The Duomo was under scaffolding. The facade is undergoing work so you know what they do, giant color xerox copy of what it WOULD look like so you can still take a picture. I didn't, but I did go inside.

The interior of the Cathedral is spectacular and should not be missed. I took the audio guide which although long is very informative and covers everything from the marble floor panels to the alter and dome. The columns in the duomo are very interesting striped marble and reminded me of the archways at the Mezquita in Cordoba. I checked out the Bapistry and then went to the Museo Dell Opera.

The rooms that house the paintings and sculpture at this museum are wonderful and once again I find myself drawn to the interiors rather than the artwork. I took the windy spiral stairs up to see the panoramic view of the city and countryside beyond. It did not disappoint.I thought of all the tuscan towns I would not see this trip and knew I would have to return again. I stayed up there a while.

A leisurely walk brought me to San Francesco square and the Oratory San Bernadion. There are some really nice views just beyond the square thru the arch way. Inside is a small collection of religious icon art, sculpture and if I remember correct a few simple furniture pieces.

I head back to the campo to have lunch. Ribbilito (like a stew/soup w/ veggies, beans and stale bread)was what I was looking for. I found it and it was delicious and perfect for dining outside on a cold windy day. Afterwards I did a little ceramic shopping, got a gelato and made my way to the sqaure where the waiter had told me the bus back to Florence left from.

I get to the square and see an open area with a bunch of bustops and buses. Which to take, I'll ask in my best Italian which isn't that good but better than my French. A driver tells me there are no buses to Florence they will go on strike. On strike? Yes, At 5:15 in 15 minutes we go on strike. 15 minutes, why not 10? That was lost on him. He says take the train, with no choice I ask for directions to the train and how long by foot. Dieci minuti.

Dieci minuti my ass. If your an olympic sprinter maybe but when you're 5'2" with the stride of a beagle it takes 35 minutes. Around the town up the hills, past the entrance walls of the old city where the she-wolves guard. Around the bend, walkin, walkin. I'm exhausted. Finally at the train staion. I ask for a ticket, there is no direct train. Out of curiousity I ask about the bus strike. No strike? But the driver said... Did they settle already? In the last 1/2 hour? Talk about good negotiators. We could have used a few of them in New York Christmas week. The bus ticket was 10 Euro, 6 people on the bus and a beautiful sunset ride back to Florence.

"stride of a beagle" - my coffee almost came out my nose! This just gets better.

When/where is your next trip?

I can just picture you with the 80 lb sachet! I’m so glad chivalry is still alive, at least in Italy. I'm sitting here thinking how that will be me this week as I try to pack not just all of my things in my suitcase, but everything my daughter has requested I bring to Rome for her (studying there since Jan.). She claims she cannot buy cotton balls there, only these bags with big wads of cotton, Q tips, nail polish (are you kidding me, like they don't have nail polish in Rome!!!) Luna bars. Oh, and I must bring all her spring clothes because she couldn't fit them in her bag when she left. Laartista, I'm really enjoying your report! Can’t wait to hear about Rome. Let me know if you want to meet for an espresso! I’ll be there on Thursday.

Louisa, tell your dear daughter there is fantastic nail polish in Italy, all over Italy, LOL. But maybe there is a special brand she likes that can't find in Italy?

ttt

FABULOUS, FABULOUS, FABULOUS!!!!!!
I know that you're a visual artist....but have you considered writing for a living?

"The stride of a beagle" did me in. I say we take up a collection and send you somewhere just so we can read the trip report!

topping...again..Loving the report!

Thanks for a very entertaining report. Tell me, please, what are Ashly Olsen sunglasses? I'm a good 20 years older than you, so I'm a bit out of touch. J.

http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/olsen-twins/index.php

scroll down and hold your breath for the Olsen Glasses

ttt

I have logged on several times over the weekend just for your report!!! ...... very entertaining!!

Wow-- how wonderful and INSPIRING it's been to read your report. Here I am,new to Fodors and overseas travel in general, trying to carefully wrangle out all the details (and I mean minutia -I'm travel ocd, I do believe) for my first trip to Italy and you remind me -- travel should be about adventure, the unexpected pleasures -- and a sense of humor is SO essential!!

Would love to see your work! Any links, yet?

laartista,
Wonderful! I agree this should be a featured Fodor's trip report!

We were in Siena last May and yes, the cathedral reminded me of the Mesquite in Cordoba, but lucky DD was there for five months! She spent her last month traveling solo and, like you, had some real incredible experiences. I too love traveling solo, but DH is rather possessive, though I have to admit, he comes in handy with the luggage sometimes.

Looking forward to more!

Delightful! Thanks so much for sharing your trip, your wit, and your pictures, laartista!

laartista - where are you?? Just saw a beagle striding after aerobics & thought about you. Pls return soon & tell us some more. Need a good laugh this a.m.
Cobbie

"stride of a beagle" - that had me howling at my desk at work! Please keep going.

Thanks everyone, would have finished this up sooner but was struck by stomach flu on Saturday.

Back in Florence, it's freezing that night, drop off my bags and head to dinner at a place near the Duomo I think the name was B gallo. I had a pizza, beer and cafe. No great shakes but did the trick.

Day 13 Off to Rome

I slept in, 2 days left, I've been moving around alot and I was tired.
I checked out of the Savoy at which time noticed that they billed me for calls that I used a calling card for. They quickly removed the charges from my bill no questions asked. Again highly recommend this hotel.

The train ride to Rome was fine 1 1/2 hour on the Eurostar, 42 Euro 1st class. Arrive at Rome but I can't remember the street of my hotel. I had stayed there 3 times before. A nice guy who worked at the train station came with me to get a taxi and they figured it out. Hotel Concordia on Capo le Case.

The Hotel Concordia is a far cry from The Savoy but I stay there whenever in Rome. The owner Roberto is a hoot,his son-in-law Stefano who works the desk is very helpful and it's very close to both trevi and the spanish steps. The rooms are tiny, very ,but have everything you need and I'm ever hardly in the room when in Rome. 120 Euro a night w/ breakfast booked thru Venere. Can't beat that. It's around 2:00 when I check in so I decide like the first day in Florence to just tool around the city. Tomorrow will be a full day of sightseeing.

Paris is my all time favorite city, but Rome is definitely my number 2. I love the energy of Rome. The city just buzzes and not just from the vespas. It's vibrant, lively, slightly on the gritty side and I think beautiful. I felt happy to just be there.

I walk a few blocks from the hotel to the Spanish Steps. Terrible construction going on. I guess they are getting ready for the summer crowds. The Church at the top of the steps is so covered with scaffolding you can't even hardly see it. Unlike the Duomo in Siena no giant Xerox. In front of the steps where the fountain is before you walk onto Via Condotti the street is dug up and this continues down toward the needle.

The streets are crowded with shoppers which puts me in the mood. Compared to other trips I hadn't bought alot so I decide to go hunting for shoes. Shoes on Condotti are a bit out of my range but I make it over to Via Corso a main shopping street and do some damage there. I also stop for my first meal of the day a yummy pasta dish with smoked salmon in a light pink creme sauce. It was on a side street off Via Corso. I walk the entire length of Via Corso and at around dusk head over to the Piazza de Trevi.

Mob scene, coin tossing, picture taking, souvinier pushing, I take a seat, I love it! Although there is so much going on around you ,watching the fountain is very serene and relaxing. I hang out for a while. And, of course toss my coin to guarantee my return to Rome.

More strolling and I pass a square where I had had my tarot cards read 5 years before. The same guy was there who told I'd be married in 2005. Liar!Needless to say I did not take the 10 Euro read this time.

I returned to Concordia at around 8:00. The owner Roberto was there. We chatted for about an hour about all things American and Italian. He has strong opinions and oddly enough is a Bush supporter. They are rare over there but they exist. I couldn't agree with him, but he could appreciate that. I walked the 4 flights to my room on the top floor, they have an elevator, should have taken it.

My room was an oven. The housekeepers had left the heat on. I opened the window, shut the heat and quickly left again. I decided I was going to have a gigantic gelato in a waffle cone with nuts on it for dinner. It was goood. I went for a long walk, I really love Rome at night and there were still plenty of people out. I turn in around midnight.

Day 14-My last day(whoo hoo for those who have been reading this marathon report)

Up at 7, grab a quick breakfast downstairs, stop and chat with Roberto, I'm out the door by 9. It's the last day of my vacation and i want to make the most of it. I start my day with a walk up to the Via Veneto. I had never walked around up there so I wanted to check it out. It's a quieter area and very pretty but I don't stay long. I've got sights to see.

From the Veneteto I began my trek. Passed Piazza Barberini and then Quirinale where I stopped to snap few pix. Walking and then stopping at every other corner to join the many tourists in the every so popular game of unfolding the map. My route brings me right out in front of the the Victor Emmanuel monument. Now that's what I call a monument.Crossing the street here is a little tricky and I just wait for a Roman to start crossing, the pedestrians stop traffic here.

Of all the places I've been so far and all the sights I've seen, nothing has hit me like turning the corner onto Via dei Fori Imperiali and seeing the Roman Forum to my right.I've seen it before and each time it blows me away. It is just so freaky that I have a hard time wrapping my brain around it. Here I am in 2005 and there are sports cars passing by and coffee shops across the street with people at their computers and yet here amongst the technology still exists the ruins of ancient Rome. The actual giant flat stones that made up the first paved roads. And, we can walk on them. It's crazy. Needless to say I spend a great deal of time in the forum and then take a tour which I had not done on prior trips of Palantine Hill.

Our tour guide was a young archeologist and although very sweet not that interesting. I found myself wandering off quite a bit. It's very peaceful up on the hill and many people opt to have lunch up there. But beware, if you do dine on the hill you will surely have some feline company. I get a little lost coming down from the hill to find the way out. I'm not alone and soon I am walking with other tourists back from which we came. I make the right turn this time and it brings out to the colusseum.

Yep, there they are, gladiators, for your tourist picture taking pleasure. I skip that activity this trip, I already have them from prior trips.I walk around the colusseum but this time do not go in. I walk back up Via Imperiali toward the Emanuele monument and onto C. Vittorio Emanuele II, the longish walk that will take me across the Tiber and over to Vatican City.

It's around 2:30 now and I'm hungry for lunch so on my walk to the Vatican I stop at a small restaurant packed with Italians (always agood sign) and take a seat outside.I'm seated under the heater cause it's pretty cool out. The restaurant called Primo/a I think on Emanuele II where you would turn to hit Campo dei Fiori.

I'll say this about lunch. If you don't mind waiting 1 1/2 hours for a really good pizza(mine was sausage, broccoli white pizza)then eat here. If you are tight on time don't. I watched this waitress bring out one pizza every 7-10 minutes all going to one table for about 45 minutes. Noone minded, I was glad to be alone, and at 4:00 I got my pizza. Ate half, paid, I got to get to St. Peters.

It's a pretty long walk from the colusseum to the Vatican, but walking in Rome is like walking in New York, it goes fast. From the bridge,in the distance I see the Vatican. Continuing on the street that leads to St. Peters I pass the gazillinth begger woman. Rome is full of them and being a New Yorker I usually don't stop, we have ours. If they have a dog I do, but otherwise I don't. However, this time, and I'm not sure if it was a mixture of jewish/catholic guilt because the dome of St. Peters was looming in the background, I do. I give, how can I not on the way to the grand daddy of churches.

The thing that strikes me first at the Vatican is how much security is there. The last time I was here was 2000 and boy has it changed. Metal detectors after one of those wrap around lines like they have at Disney World to get on Magic Mountain. It was kind of sad, all this security to go to a church. what this world has become I thought.

Here's the thing about St. Pete's, it is AWESOME, jaw-dropping.I was brought up jewish but as an adult I am very spiritual but do not believe in organized religion. That said, walking into St. Peter's I can understand why people do. As I walk the length of the nave to the dome where the Pope had lied in state I couldn't help but think if this place moves an agnostic like me what must it be like to be here as a christian.

It was late aroung 4:30 and I had a choice to make-the museums would be closing. I chose the treasury, it is the only one I hadn't seen before. These popes have some collection of jewels and wadrobe and chalices and staffs. It is a very cool museum and very dark all black walls and floor with the only light dimly hitting the collectibles.Before leaving the cathedral I stop to look at La Pieta. Noone speaks, cameras flash. It is beautiful.

As I walk away from the Vatican, occasionly looking over my shoulder I can't believe that tomorrow I will be back in New York. I'm not ready yet, I want to stay. I walk and walk that day. From Casel S. Angelo to Piazza Navona and the surrounding little streets where dress designers and artisans hold shop. It's 8 pm, my feet hurt and I head back to the hotel.

Roberto is there, he thought I got lost. I had been out all day. I chat with him for 1/2 hour or so and also with a man from N.Carolina who is in Rome with his wife. I had briefly met them the day before. Roberto is leaving for the night and I leave for the airport at 7 am. He says I will not see you then, so I lean in and give him a hug and a peck on each cheek and thank him for wonderful stay and conversation. It was cute to see a man of 75 or so blush.

After Roberto's suggestion of where to eat I head to the trattoria down the block and across the street. Seems every hotel has sent their visitors to this trattoria. I wait at the front alone for an uncomfortable 15 minutes. I see the couple from N. Carolina who are staying at my hotel. He waves I wave back/ He gestures do I want to join them. I did, but I didn't want to crash in on their dinner together so I politely decline.

Finally seated and I had a really delicious meal for such a touristy place complete with guy singing with a guitar at the front door. I started with roasted artichokes drowned in olive oil. Unbelievable ,I have to learn to make those. Second course Spaghetti Carbonara. I was full, dinner was delic and just one more thing to do on my last night before I pack. GELATO!

Day 15 I go Home

Wake-up call at 5:30-Airport shuttle van for 26 Euro, a great deal picks me up at 7:00. My flight is at 10:00 am.I arrive at the airport at 8:00 am and take my first Xanax. There is hardly any security at the terminal unless you are flying a U.S. carrier which is more un-nerving.

I go to check in at Continental and am questioned at the little kiosk by a Continental agent. She lets me thru and to the actual check-in line which has a good amount of people on it. I look over and see there are two elite check-in lines that are empty. Hey, that's me, so I head over there and this is what happened-First class discrimination against those not dressed up.

I make it over to the counter and I want to be clear ,an AL ITALIA agent who was working biz-first check-in for Continental actually looks at me with a super snotty sneer which at 8 am,and a 10 hour flight ahead is the last thing a fearful flyer wants to see. I wanted a welcome with a smile to calm my nerves. But Nooooo. She had the gall to say to me ,in my rip at the knee levis, chunky sweater and hiking boots, this is the line for elite in her italian accent. I shot her the bitchy deathray and said yes, that's me, I'm ELITE! Up and down she looked me over, I was embarressed and pissed why should she be judging who's flying biz-first. With a sneer the entire time she checks me in and literally drops the tickets on the counter for me to pick-up. Whatever. Behind me is a nicely dressed Businessman with his Louis briefcase. Buongiorno Senore', how can I help you.T his chick just rubbed me the wrong way and maybe I shouldn't have said it but I turned around and said to her I guess you have to have a penis to get good service around here! The business man started to laugh and the bitchy ticket agent just glared. I DID file a complaint.

My flight was delayed 1 1/2 hours. I did not sleep on the plane.I had a yummy 4 course meal with my sundea and I was trying to figure out who the scruffy guy kitty corner from me one row up was. I thought maybe someone I went to college with. Nope, it was Vincent D'Onofrio, that's who.

On closing note thanks for your kind words for my very long and first trip report. I love to travel and feel so fortunate to be able to. It's what i work so hard for. What I remember most about the places I've been is how they make me feel, the people I encounter good and bad and all the wackiness that seems to accompany me on every trip I've ever taken. I welcome it all, it makes life interesting ,and can't wait until next time.

Thank you so much for finishing this great report. Worth the wait, if only for your final zinger at the airport. I'm still smiling.

Sandra Bullock for "you" in the movie version of this?

I have loved this...you are real. Stay that way... please, make lots of money, travel more and keep writing these trip reports.

Thanks. 80 - lb. sachet... running of the brides...

To too funny

This is great! I love the "do you have to have a penis" remark--GO GIRL!!

I too am and artist and am Jewish (still am--found a Kaballistic rabbi) and am also incredibly moved inside of churches. To me they represent the marvelous potential of human creation (as opposed to the more negative side that had evolved leading to human destruction.)

Thanks again for this terrific trip report!!

What a great trip report!! I'm so sad to see it end. I looked forward to all of your updates, each day. Any future trips in the planning, that we can be looking forward to another great trip report??

Just read your trip report from start to finish, noticing the 184 replies. (How bad can it be?) I couldn't stop scrolling down, nor could the tears of laughter scrolling down my face! Kudos to you, laartista, for your sparking sense of people and place. I was picturing you every step of the way, having seen all but Torino myself. May your future trips be manifold and as marvelous as this one...do let us know when you next venture out. This trip report is surely one of the "Most Fabulous of the Year."

Bravo for a fabulous report! So... when is your next trip??

I am sad to see your adventure end. Thank you for sharing- it has been a blast, like traveling with one of my girlfriends.

Diane

laartista - what a wonderful, wonderful trip report! I wish you well and hope your trip provided artistic inspiration for future endeavors...

What a delight! Thank you for the laughs! You have to go on another trip really soon, we need to read more of your adventures. Good luck!

Laartista, I'm so sorry to see the end of your report.

I hope you will take seriously those of us who suggested that you turn this into a book, with your own illustrations. Just think, you could get publishers to pay for you to travel, just so that you can write about it.

As for the map unfurlers in Rome, my daughter met her husband by taking out her map outside a theatre in London. They had already exchanged glances inside so he stopped to help. They recognized each other's Canadian accents and immediately bonded. Maybe you can try this yourself next trip.

Oh laartista, I am another fan of your writing style, your travel style, your outlook on life and your sense of humor!! Do you have a website that displays any of your art? If so I hope you will post it as I would love to see your artwork and imagine everyone else here would also.

May your life be filled with more wonderful journeys!

Your report been an absolute delight. Besides easy to read, it brought out the laughs and tears. Thought you might throw in a last zinger that you were already planning your next trip, somewhere. Sorry for it to have to end, but that's why we have to all keep traveling. We just never know what's (or who's) around the next bend in the road. Thanks.

Hi, laartista... You're a joy. I'm ready to adopt you. Delightful report.

I love your report and I'm so sorry it's over. Thanks!

VERY, very fun read. I also HATE to fly!!!!!!! I just grin and bear it...no drugs for me. Wonderful adventures you had. I'll think about you whenever I see a beagle!!!!

Excellent trip report, Laartista!
Thank you so much for sharing your adventures. It is one of the best I have ever read!

Dina

laartista--so glad to hear you are no longer ill--that nasty flu like stuff has been hitting too many people--here in TX too. Your report has been a blast to read. I read it straight through the other night while my daughter was creating one of her artistic non-masterpieces! Anyway, she and I snickered and LOL at sooo much of your report. You are definitely one of THE best!! You would make a fantastic travel partner! Good luck in whatever you do.

Day 14-My last day(whoo hoo for those who have been reading this marathon report)

No no, Boo Hoo...for those of us who have been reading this wonderful report! I hate to see it end!!

Thank you for taking the time to share it all with us. It has been so enjoyable and I learned from it as well as got many good laughs. Whenever I see a beagle , it will have so much more meaning to me now

I'm bummed out this great trip report ended, but looking forward another one detailing your next adventure.

And it must be the universe working it's magic, but when I arrived home the other day, there was my National Geographic Traveler Magazine...and what was on the cover??? A photo from Provence with an article inside...can't wait to read it!

Hmmm....maybe I should move Provence up to the top of my "Places to See List".

Happy Travels!

I didn't want to top my own post this am but when I saw it here just now I justed wanted to say a BIG THANX! for all your nice comments. Don't know when the next trip will be maybe January but until then I have all others reports to read and travel thru them. I will definitely be picking up a copy of the new national geographic traveler magazine. Thanks again e1.

Never be reluctant to top your own post...we all do, some of us more than others LOL

You have written the Perfect Trip Report, interesting, funny and informative...and not boring for a second.

Now go look at the Travel book and figure out where We are going next

So happy I stopped by or I would have missed the end of this amusing trip.
Your fans thank you.

This should be required reading for first time solo travelers as well as travelers who plan to drive in France

I agree, she reminds me of me at her age.

Awesome trip report laartista.
Please write another one soon!

(I'd love to be your travel companion!)

Hi laartista, I just had a chance to read the rest of your terrific report and wanted to thank you for the fun ride! If you ever put your artwork on line don't forget to let us know. I'm sure it's as wonderful as your prose. MVOR

This is hands down one of the best trip reports I have ever read. Thanks for some really great laughs!

Johanna

My apologies topping for a friend.