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What is up with Puerto Rico hotels (i.e. bad reviews everywhere)

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So, we're trying to decide where to go for next spring break in late March 2014. We've never been to the Caribbean and what we've read of Old San Juan and El Yunque rainforest intrigues us, so I've spent this past week researching things to do and places to stay.

I always go on tripadvisor and first and read hotel reviews.. Wow! I have NEVER, ever, seen so many negative reviews for every. single. hotel. on. the. island! Every single one! (Well, wait, I think El Convento gets consistently good reviews, but I think that's the only one!)
What is up with that?
It's making me crazy finding a place I'd consider booking (that and the exorbitant prices for what you get high season - if we do go, it may be off-season sometime and not spring break - especially with those reviews!)

Just curious - for those of you who've been - are the hotels all that bad?!
Amazingly enough, the better hotels, like Hiltons and Marriotts, usually get the worst reviews. Even the positive reviews have caveats like - Well, yes the service is slow and the place is worn and dated, but it's really pretty....

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