There are plenty of places to eat, drink and celebrate your birthday on St. John (by the way, there's no "s" - St. John is the name of the island in the USVI's - St. John's is the name of the capital city on Antigua, a completely different destination.

Yes, Barbados will have more options simply because it's a larger and more populated island.

One island is not necessarily better than the other, they are just different - sort of like asking a meat lover which is the better steak - Rib Eye or T-bone.

If you are going between now and late Oct. there is a possibility though not great that a hurricane or tropical depression could rain on your celibration. If you are looking for a nice hotel I personally do not like the Westin very much and Caneel Bay Resort even in the summer is expensive. If you were to chose to stay there just avoid the rooms up near the tennis courts. Actually in the summer the area with the most breezes, though the roons are A/C, is Hawks Nest at Caneel. As said it is a lush island and several opportunities to take snorkel outings if that might interest you. In Barbados you have many more nice hotel selections and as much lush areas but far less snorkel opportunities (Calabazza Snorkel Tours does a nice 5 hour sail/snorkel). The resturant selection is good but on our last visit 3 years ago I do not remember an active bar scene but it is a lovely island. If you give up the lush island and you wand to reduce the hurricane possibility by 90% you could consider Curacao and stay at the Marriott (I suggest avoid dinner at the Portofino) or the more expensive Hura Kuralanda. Under the Arches there are 5-6 good resturants and a couple of bars and some nice beaches on the island espececially on the WEST END where there is snorkeling as well, Capt. Goodlife can take you out in his boat there for $20+/-/person). You need a car in Barbados and Curacos for most or all of your stay. There is a new Hyatt on Curacao I have not stayed at but it is away from the action on the EAST END. Though on the EAST END there is a great bar and restaurant called Avalon.
Hope some of the above helps

Another destination thoiugh without snorkeling that we were at for 6 day 5-6 years ago was recently evaluated in ConteNaste. see below;
Nisbet Plantation Beach Club, Nevis
Charlestown, St. Kitts & Nevis
Complete RCA
96.197.0 Rooms

98.0 Service

97.5 Food
97.0 Location
97.0 Design
90.2 Activities

See Methodology »Gold List
Readers' picks
of world's best hotels
2012 Platinum Circle
.MORE LIKE THIS
Four Seasons Resort, Nevis .E-Mail 0 No. of Units: 36
Price: $$


“The staff become like your family” at this resort whose centerpiece is a restored 1778 plantation house on 30 acres of verdant jungle. Lemon-hued stucco cottages with white pyramid roofs are sprinkled amid the foliage and are decorated with a light palette and have balconies facing the sea. The gourmet Caribbean cuisine at the Great House—one of just three air-conditioned restaurants on Nevis—has “delectable dishes” like grilled mahimahi with peas and rice. Thursday night’s poolside barbecue buffet is set to live music.

If you ruled out BVI due to cost you might have to rule out St. John, which I find to be as, or more, expensive than the BVIs.

I have been to both St. John and Barbados. There are restaurants and bars on both islands - you will not have a problem finding a place to celebrate. If you decide on St. John, look into renting a villa for you, your bf and your parents, more economical than staying at Caneel. Both islands have amazing beaches and natural beauty; we preferred St. John because we like to snorkel and really enjoyed renting a jeep and visiting lots of beaches (without traffic). I blogged about both of my trips and included a lot of pictures, if you're interested in reading.

St. John: http://eatsleeptravel-1.blogspot.com/2012/02/st-john-paradise.html

Barbados: http://eatsleeptravel-1.blogspot.com/2012/04/beautiful-barbados.html