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Is St. bart romantic, but low-key enuf?

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I dunno. This fall (mid- to late-October), my husband and I are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary and we want to get away for a long weekend. We went to St. martin all those many moons ago, but we sort of want to try something new. We love St. John, but want to save a return trip for our kids. we want a grown up feel (no kids, remember!), sort of a sexy vibe, nice beaches, good restaurants and gambling is a plus. One most scores, from what I can research St. Bart is the ticket. But I worry it might be, well, snobby and elite feeling, too? That will bum me out. I live in NYC, so I'm no stranger to upscale, but I want to feel comfortably relaxed amid my luxuries, if you know what I mean. any thoughts out there on whether St. Barts fits the ticket for us?

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