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HELP me uncross my eyes & brain PLSSSSSS!!!!!!

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Whats up folks, here's the deal.. Must take this vacay in less than 30 days. This is my first post to this site. Spent the last 3 days looking at reviews and photos btwn Fodors and TA: my eyes are crossed and I don't feel any smarter than I did 48 hours ago! I read all the negative reviews on resorts to see if there is some sort of trend established rather than someone upset bcus their tea wasnt at the exact temp. I then read the positive reviews and they contradict each other. WTF!!! How do I know what/who to believe? I AM SO LOST!!

Trip is for myself and a friend. We both live in big cities (SF & NYC) so we are seeking relaxation with touches of tranquility, serenity and SOME social night activities. We are late 20's but not so much into our age group (spring breaky, binge drinking, jersey shore wannabe's- aka cancun lol). We are both active though.
Not married or crazy lovers (well after this trip who knows lol) so a 'romantic mushy thing' is not necessary. I've only been to the Caribbean once (Curacao) to a small dive resort, opposite island of the main stay. I loved the small resort feel but didnt like to sacrifice lights out by 9pm and hour ride just to get to night stuff.

I am thinking an Al is best bcus I want to do as little work as possible while on vacay.

With that being said, In no particular order, here is what we're looking for:
1. No commercialized, mainstream touristy type environment. No super large resort with west wings and east wings. I want no wings. Oh and no cruise ports!!!!! I work in and among tourist for a living, in a big city, so the last thing I want is this environment
2. Some form of sociable nightlife with dancing/disco etc... (outside or @resort, could care less)
2. No bingo and lights out by 8pm, but not looking for 4 in the morning all night binging. Want some good energy in the air, not the old man shuffle
3. Resort on the beach so I can lounge and be lazy one day and get some water activities in the next day.
4. I am not a morning person, so PLEASE GOD NO HAVING TO BE UP AT CRACK OF DAWN TO "BEAT THE CROWDS". I will do no beating of no crowds on my vacation :)!
5. Would like to feel like I am away from the states and in the tropics, white sand, BLUUUUUEE water and palm trees all over the place. I want it like one of those corona commercials!
6. No screaming babies or kids.. As much as I love and take care of my nephews and cousins I do not want to be around them during uncle anthony's timeout
7. Activities are necessary, there is only so much lounging one can do, before even that gets old. I dont need to climb a mountain and talk to animals, but I do need activites.
8. We both grew up with pools, so a nice one of those with swim up bar/s necessary
9. Could care less about shopping and casino's etc.. Again, I can do that in the states, don't need it for this trip
10. and last but not least, Budget, Budget, Budget, since I am footing the bill I would like to keep total (w/air) under $2,100 usd.

Please help me find a small resort feel without being a "boutique" resort (if that makes sense)
Heres what we had in mind based from feedback of friends..
*Playa del Carmen (she is worried bcus of current events, smh)
*Punta Cana (heard insane beaches/water, but cant leave grounds. does it even matter?)
*Bermuda (co-worker recommended based on my list- says I cant go wrong but seems like lots of denrios)
*Saint Maarten (got so many mixed reviews don't know what to believe)
*Cozumel (best friend says awesomeness but seems like if not diving, then nothing else to do)

Thank you for wasting 5 mintues of your life on my problems, but if you can be so kind and spare your thoughts, I will be so appreciative and grateful. Peace!

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