My suggestion is go to the library and go through a bunch (Fodors, Frommers, Lonely Planet, etc.). Then buy the one you like best.

I've found Fodors, Lonely Planet and Fielding's to be quite good for their descriptions of islands.

Hotel and restaurant reviews are another matter. The guide books mentioned above are good for listing the hotels, resorts and restaurants and for giving you general price information. The above mentioned guides and most others I've read over the past 20+ years (and I've read plenty) are just not good at reviewing restaurants and hotels. The problem is those types of publications are not updated often enough and could be several year old and no longer rellevant and outdated. Many times the author is just paraphasing the market material from a particular place and has never actually been or stayed at the hotel, dined at the restaurant, or if they have it was so long ago as to be meaningless. For example there is one island I frequent where the guide books always recommend a particular place that has been closed for at least 7 years (that I know of) yet it is still mentioned in the guide books as a place not to be missed.

You are much better off checking reviews on websites like Tripadvisor and reading through posts on fodors, Lonely Planet, Traveltalkonline, etc. You'll get first hand accounts many of which cover recent visits.

You are wise to read up on the difference in islands before trying to narrow down what island is best for you.

FYI for quite islands with great food check out Anguilla, Nevis, St. Kitts, Virgin Gorda and Jost Van Dyke. If you want access to great food and don't mid a busier island look at St. Barths.

For something different, look through Rum Reggae's Caribbean.

I agree with a lot of what A_Traveller said about guidebooks often being out of date and personally prefer internet research (both forums like this and TripAdvisor) and other sources (travel industry, government/tourism sites, etc.) Fodors, Frommers, Definitivecaribbean.com all have a lot of the same content on-line as they do in their printed guidebooks. I like reviewing stuff on-line and cutting and pasting information into a word document that I can update as I gather more information and bring with me. It is much easier to carry around a couple of pieces of paper with notes about a particular subject than to drag a guidebook with you.

I agree that online forums and sites are more up to date, however I also love buying the books and cozying up to them in bed while planning a trip!

For your particular demographic, I'd recommend two books: Ian Keown's Romantic Hideaways of the Caribbean, published by Frommer's. He emphasizes places that are great for a couple to roecharge, and although he includes some AI resorts, most are smaller, locally owned hotels with real character and charm, in a variety of price ranges.

I also like Best Places to Stay in the Caribbean, published by Houghton Mifflin. It breaks places down into categories such as family travel, budget travel, Old World Caribbean charm, sports enthusiast travel, foodie travel, romantic travel, etc.

While I certainly consult the Fodor's guide, it's not one of my top three picks for travel. It tends to be very tourist oriented. I like Rough Guide and Lonely Planet for more off the beaten path experiences.