Destination wedding friends/family decline due to cost
Feb 26th, 2013, 04:08 AM
#1
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Destination wedding friends/family decline due to cost
I want to start of with saying my wife and I had a destination wedding and had the time of our lives. So did the 36 friends and family who attended in Mexico. We had a much bigger turnout than anticipated so I should nt have anything to complain about.
But I feel bitter towards some friends and family members for how they declined the invitation.
We explained that we were completely understanding that not everyone will be able to attend so nobody would feel obligated to come and that we've hired a professional service that specializes in destination wedding to make travel planning as easy as possible. We gave our guests 2.5 years notice with an open invite to bring their friends along to make the most out of the trip. Which made it very affordable for people to slowly make payments people who never thought they could afford a vacation were able to attend. We were extremely accomodating.
I'm not bothered by the people who declined because they didn't want to travel or couldnt afford it.
There was 9 people who declined. All saying they couldn't afford it, then took separate vacations to the same city in Mexico or very close by. Some before my wedding and some just after. Some family even missed my local reception when I got back home because they were gone on vacation...
These were all people I used to feel very close to. Now I have no desire to even associate with these people.
The resort I chose was 5 stars and I subsided $200 of the cost for everyone. I know the resort I chose was a more affordable location than any of their trips because I receiced 2 free trips (1 trirp for every 15th person) and I also used that do reduce the price for everyone.
How am I suppose to maintain friendships with people who lied saying they really wish they could come if only they could afford it, then go on a separate more expensive vacation to an almost identical location?
Should I write off these people and move on and live my life without people like this ?
Or am I over reacting?
2 of the people were my my mother and brother
But I feel bitter towards some friends and family members for how they declined the invitation.
We explained that we were completely understanding that not everyone will be able to attend so nobody would feel obligated to come and that we've hired a professional service that specializes in destination wedding to make travel planning as easy as possible. We gave our guests 2.5 years notice with an open invite to bring their friends along to make the most out of the trip. Which made it very affordable for people to slowly make payments people who never thought they could afford a vacation were able to attend. We were extremely accomodating.
I'm not bothered by the people who declined because they didn't want to travel or couldnt afford it.
There was 9 people who declined. All saying they couldn't afford it, then took separate vacations to the same city in Mexico or very close by. Some before my wedding and some just after. Some family even missed my local reception when I got back home because they were gone on vacation...
These were all people I used to feel very close to. Now I have no desire to even associate with these people.
The resort I chose was 5 stars and I subsided $200 of the cost for everyone. I know the resort I chose was a more affordable location than any of their trips because I receiced 2 free trips (1 trirp for every 15th person) and I also used that do reduce the price for everyone.
How am I suppose to maintain friendships with people who lied saying they really wish they could come if only they could afford it, then go on a separate more expensive vacation to an almost identical location?
Should I write off these people and move on and live my life without people like this ?
Or am I over reacting?
2 of the people were my my mother and brother
Feb 26th, 2013, 06:39 AM
#3
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You might want to post this question in the Lounge, they'll have a field day with it.
My take, you are overreacting. Damaging your relationship with your mother and brother is the wrong way to handle this. Talk to them and tell them you are hurt. Then move on. Life is too short to hold a grudge over this.
My take, you are overreacting. Damaging your relationship with your mother and brother is the wrong way to handle this. Talk to them and tell them you are hurt. Then move on. Life is too short to hold a grudge over this.
Feb 26th, 2013, 07:02 AM
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I feel badly that your feelings were hurt and it is upsetting that your mother and brother especially did not attend your wedding but it is time to forgive and forget. That is the chance you take with a destination wedding. There are probably other reasons, other than cost, that explain why they did not attend but they really don't owe you an explanation.
I have some very dear friends and even family members that I love but I don't vacation with them--so not everyone probably thought spending time with all the people you invited was a way they wanted to spend their money. Many people have a limited vacation budget and decide that they are not going to spend that on a wedding where much of their time is taken up with wedding activities. We also were invited to 6 destination weddings last year--we did not attend all of them.
Invited guests will also miss in town weddings because they are out of town--they don't plan their vacations around your schedule.
Your relationship with your family is too important to let this irritate you. You said that you were "completely understanding" that not everyone would attend and noone would feel obligated. You are not being understanding. Writing these people out of your life and not associating with them would be a major mistake.
Why is this on the Canada Board?
I have some very dear friends and even family members that I love but I don't vacation with them--so not everyone probably thought spending time with all the people you invited was a way they wanted to spend their money. Many people have a limited vacation budget and decide that they are not going to spend that on a wedding where much of their time is taken up with wedding activities. We also were invited to 6 destination weddings last year--we did not attend all of them.
Invited guests will also miss in town weddings because they are out of town--they don't plan their vacations around your schedule.
Your relationship with your family is too important to let this irritate you. You said that you were "completely understanding" that not everyone would attend and noone would feel obligated. You are not being understanding. Writing these people out of your life and not associating with them would be a major mistake.
Why is this on the Canada Board?
Mar 1st, 2013, 07:16 AM
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Wow, do anyone else think this is over the top? In fact, so far over the top that it is out of sight. This is completely self-centered. I can see why the mother and brother did not attend.
Let me translate since this is written in Canadian.
Everyone have two and half years to plan, save, and make payments so that my wedding would be the most important thing in their life during this year. A top priority for spending money.
Even if your job/family situation only permitted one major vacation expenditure for the year it had to be my wedding.
Although I said I would understand if you could not attend, I am keeping score especially if you went on another vacation that was equally expensive. I am insulted that you chose your family vacation (whatever the reason) over attending my wedding.
While we had a bigger turn out than expect, the NINE who did not had a greater impact on my wedding than the 36 who did.
With that type of attitude, I fully understand and support the mother's and brother's decision not to attend. They know and understand the op better than any of us do. But from this brief insight, it is not a wedding I would want to attend.
Let me translate since this is written in Canadian.
Everyone have two and half years to plan, save, and make payments so that my wedding would be the most important thing in their life during this year. A top priority for spending money.
Even if your job/family situation only permitted one major vacation expenditure for the year it had to be my wedding.
Although I said I would understand if you could not attend, I am keeping score especially if you went on another vacation that was equally expensive. I am insulted that you chose your family vacation (whatever the reason) over attending my wedding.
While we had a bigger turn out than expect, the NINE who did not had a greater impact on my wedding than the 36 who did.
With that type of attitude, I fully understand and support the mother's and brother's decision not to attend. They know and understand the op better than any of us do. But from this brief insight, it is not a wedding I would want to attend.
