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New Zealand and Australia - 43 day trip

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My husband (age 60) and I (age 55) are headed out for 45 days - I am excited but totally daunted by the planning process. Daunted I should say stumped. No idea really where to start. We are more interested in unusual and and beautiful scenery rather than large cities.
We really don't want to move daily and would rather explore an area from a base and move every 3? days.
- We arrive THIS Dec. 6 in Auckland - spend 2 days
- Then Drive to Hahei / Cathedral Cove / Hot Water Beach
- Rotorua and Wai-O-Tapu
- Drive to Wellington (or should we fly from Rotorua (if possible directly to Picton?)
- Take ferry to Picton
- Nelson
- 2 or 3 day sailling trip in Abel Tasman Park
- Kaikoura (or skip this?)
- Oamaru
- Te Anau
- Milford Sound
- Dec. 24 / 25 Queenston
Dec. 36 Mount Cook / Lake Tekapo
Dec. 27 - Drive to Christchurch for flight to Melbourne
Take our time on the Great Ocean Road?
Appollo Bay, Twelve Apostles (Dec. 31??) Port Fairy
Robe / Adelaide (but thinking of skipping these 2 entirely).
Considering going to Uluru but unsure whether all large group tours (which we hate) or if we are just putting too much into this trip.
Fly to Cairns / Port Douglas - how long should we stay in this area?
Fly to Sydney - 3 full days?
Home...
Whew tiring typing this but we are there a total of 43 days.
All suggestions welcome! I really am at a loss.

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