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What would I be missing if I didn't go to Chiang Mai

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We will be travelling in China and Asia in the fall of 2004. It will be a extensive trip 4 days Beijing, 2 days Xian, 5 day Yangtze Cruise, 17 day 10 city cruise including S. Korea, Japan, China, Vietnam, Singapore, Malaysia and then finally Bangkok. We were thinking of 4 days in Bangkok and then 4 days in Chiang Mai and then home. When I look at the schedule I think that maybe I am trying to see and do to much in a little over 35 days.
I have a map of the world and before my travel time is over I want to be able to have seen it done it all (almost anyway). I am sure that this trip will be the only trip to this part of the world.
I have read and researched so many different options that I am getting confused and am starting to second guess some of my decisions.
I know that so many of you have been there, done it. Could you give me some insight and feedback.

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