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Vietnam, Malaysia or Thailand ? (with 2 teens)

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I am very excited to be planning our first trip to Asia for December 2012. We are a family of 4 - mom (me), dad and 2 boys age 15 & 16. We have 14-16 days total to be away and are hoping to use mileage for at least 2 of our airline tickets. We are torn between Thailand, Vietnam, Malaysia and Singapore. Thailand sounds like it's gettineg more touristy and expensive, so we are kind of narrowing it down to Malaysia/Vietnam, but are open to any suggestions. it also looks like you can squeeze Singapore in with Malaysia since it's so small.
We've traveled with the boys to Europe and Mexico many times and they are good travelers/eaters. We like beaches (surfing/scuba/snorkling), but we want culture and real life stuff- villages, temples, etc. No resorts or fancy hotels. We can drive ourselves, take trains, buses, etc.... We are somewhat adventurous but I'm not really the "rugged" type; light hiking-ok, Kayaking-ok; mountain climbing? NO!
Can we do Vietnam and Malaysia in 2 weeks without feeling too rushed?
I would love hotel recs, "must go" recommendations and any warnings about things we may not anticipate.
I hope this isn't too detailed, but I know being too vague doesn't get me much information. Thanks for any advice!
Leslie

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