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TMI re Northern Vietnam rural "homestays"?

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As you all probably know, homestay in some areas (e.g. India ) has become synonymous with "small guest house." Sometimes you are actually IN the family home; sometimes not.
But I'm getting the sense that "hometays' in the rural area of VN are often in stilt houses, where there is large room mattresses/bedding on the floor where you may or may not be separated from other people by a curtain. This is o k with me--if they can put up with my nocturnal noises, i can put up with theirs.

Here's the possibly TMI part: : where are the toilets located? No way can I last through 7 hours of sleep without at least one--more likely two--trips to the loo. After a few sips of rice wine, it may be even more of a challenge. I read that the toilets are literally outhouses, down a possibly long and steep flight of un-bannistered stairs and outside the sleeping area building, without lights on the way. Sure, I could use one of those headband flashlights, but I can also imagine potential problems! (-:

Experiences? Thoughts? I'm ok using hotels, but it seems that the rural homestays are so unique, I'd hate to miss out. If you stayed at hotels, did you regret later (perhaps after passing by) that you had not had the more "nitty gritty" homestay experience?

As always, thanks to all for insights!

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