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Thailand - Koh Samui vs Koh Tao

Our family (includes 2 boys age 17 & 20) have booked a 2 week trip to Thailand in July this year. We arrive in Bangkok and are planning on spending 2 nights there. Our departure point is from Phuket so we would also spend 4 or 5 nights there (fingers crossed that we don't have too much rain during our time there)
The question then is ....where to for the days inbetween. Initially we were very keen on heading up to Chiang Mai but given the weather in July in that part of the country we have decided that we will postpone that part of the trip to our (hopefully) next visit to Thailand when the weather is less rainy in the north.
My husband and eldest son think our time will best be spent in Koh Samui (they like busy) whilst my younger son and I prefer the idea of Koh Tao (we like quiet and peaceful). My husband has also suggested that we split our time between the two islands (3 nights at each) but I feel we will then be doing too much moving / travelling as we already have the long haul from Cape Town - Bangkok before even starting any travels in Thailand.
It may sound strange but we are not big 'snorkellers' but I think this is partly because we have never snorkelled in calm clear waters. Koh Tao seems to offer this and I am hoping it would encourage us to explore the underwater world a bit more.
We are not tourists in the sense that we are not big into the 'must do's' when travelling but we prefer to hire bikes and engage with the local people, hike through jungles, play soccer on the beach with the locals, do cooking classes etc In other words....we prefer more interactive travel.
I would love to have comments from folk who have been to these islands and hear your suggestions as to what you think may work for our family.

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