Loving your report! More! More!

Yes we will be in Shanghai later in the year so this report is a welcome site. Anxiously awaiting more!

Aloha!

Thank you so much,Kathie and Hawiiantraveller!

I ruin everything for future tourists.

While searching for the art museum, I encounter a shoe shine man. I brush him off and regret it. My boots do need a good clean and I go looking for him when I come out. He was after all, only trying to make a living. I feel really guilty when I can't find him and make up for it by bargaining badly and paying more for smiling, waving Mao watches than I would have had to on Ebay. I amuse every stall holder in the markets after just about anyone selling anything dazzles me with numbers.

My best, or worse, bargaining experience was t shirts for sale at 45 yuan each to which I bargained the seller down to 180 yuan for four. Doh!

I buy a horse statue at the Dong Li antique market from an earnest man with an honest face who assures me “on his mother's life that it is genuine Ming Dynasty.” I buy wilted flowers and unwanted postcards from old ladies at exorbitant prices and give handfuls of change to old men sitting on the pavement. To give me my due, I generally limit my giving to the elderly who can't chase me down for more.

I even tip taxi drivers. Not a fortune though. Am I so bad? Have I ruined it for every other tourist? I have had quite a few bouts of illness on this trip and don't feel too well so perhaps that excuses me.

However, I have my wits about me enough to not fall for the students' “Invitation to Tea” scam. Within a day of arrival, I am approached by four charming young students, two male and two female, who engage me in conversation. They compliment me and seem to show a genuine interest in my opinion.

Alarm bells begin to ring when one of the girls asks if I am a professor and another says she likes the color of my hair and they all laugh at my jokes. I tell them my life story as they do seem so genuinely interested. They don't persist after I politely reject their invitation. My life story is pretty dull. I leave them with a smile on my face as its not often I have such an attentive audience even if their motives are questionable.

The next Shanghainese who desire my company for tea are a girl on holidays and a man on a business trip who ask me to take their photo and then ask if I would be in a photo with them because “I am so beautiful and elegant.” I want to believe them, but I am neither, especially as my blistered feet are making me walk like a drunken sailor.

I smile graciously and tell them my life story, this time edited, as I am tired and want to return to my hotel. They also do not persist in the tea invitation, at least not too much, though they do try a little harder than the students. They only got a short version of my life story after all.

I recommend if anyone meets these friendly invitees that you talk them to death. Even the most persistant will be glad to be rid of you. However, I suspect that the real reason they have not pressed me further in order to fleece me is that I tell them that I am a carer for my parents. Given that filial piety is so important to the Chinese, I think they do not consider me such a good victim.


People here are very friendly. A young mother buys me a subway ticket as I couldn't figure the machine out, and that was using the English menu. Turns out the machine was broken, which made me feel better. I don't seem to meet many Shanghainese who speak English so I am limited in being able to get directions or instructions and anyway, it is all “Blah Blah Blah” to me with my brain!

I stop in a park and some dear little girls came up to me and one little darling wearing a jumper with a koala on it gives me a rock! A few times, small children have called out "Hello" to me when I have passed by. So sweet!


A Fish Named Smith

I finally found the Natural History Museum after many attempts and, yes, I was almost literally on the doorstep the first time I went looking for it and still missed it! I really want to see this museum as I have read quite a bit about it.

Thank you, Subway fast food Man for your many patient attempts to point me in the right direction of this museum. I think I love you.

Filled with “lets have a lovely day out” families, anyone human is quite a contrast to the atmosphere of this unmissable museum. Happy children scamper between the glass cases filled with wild-eyed, stuffed, moth-eaten animals.

Now I am a great lover of these old fashioned Victorian style museums. One of my favorites is the Animal Attic in Dunedin with it's strange and apt odor of dead animal. There is one in Los Angeles that takes one's breath away with it's complete herd of stuffed elephants, surely a taxidermal triumph.

This Natural History Museum while equally fascinating, is also mildly disturbing. Should this place ever come to life as in “Night at the Museum”, these zombie animals would wreak death and destruction on their Frankenstein creators. You can plainly see it in those crazed, glassy eyes.

As noted in many reviews of this museum, there is plenty to entertain here such as those indispensable museum draw-cards, the Mummies. This lot are a bit shabby but this adds to their creepy factor rather nicely.

There are fetuses in glass jars, a few naked people statues and even a fish named Smith. Smith, a common sort of fellow, nonetheless seemed to be attracting a great deal of attention. I really wished I could read Chinese to find out why a fish named Smith was so fascinating!


I have walked vast distances to find this little gem . Even though the metro is easy to use , there are so many exits and I always choose the "exit that leads to nowhere except the edge of the world." All this walking has caused huge blisters on my feet...and it is only early days. My goal of twenty museums in ten days begins to appear remote.

I find a chemist, who hands me a pen and paper when my pantomime of limping and pointing at my foot puzzles him. I am able to get some cream and bandages by drawing a picture of my foot with radiating "pain" lines coming from a "lump" on the ball of the foot that I have added to my art work. The chemist produces a tube of cream with almost the exact picture I had drawn! I was pretty sure I was on the right track when I saw that tube. But it looks like a day at the hotel today which is a shame as ,apart from my feet I am feeling better.



George Clooney gives me a hand after a fashion.
or
Don't you just love grandiose names for lots of shops!



By the way, did you know George Cloony has been helping me back to my hotel? Not as good as it sounds but, whenever I see his face gazing down at me from a monster billboard, I know the hotel isn't that far away. Turns out he "lives" on the New World building which I have been searching for. Who knew?

I go looking for the “New World” even though I am not yet tired of the old one. I had expected the sign on top to say “New World” but instead it says “Samsung”. I am easily confused at the best of times but eventually I get to the “New World” shopping center...and it's hell!!! You can get in...but you can't get out. Oh yes, there are exit signs...but no exits. So you are doomed to walk endlessly in circles past dress shops with fabulous clothes that you can't afford and don't fit you. Is that not "hell"?

Inside this strange and wonderful “ New World” was Madame Tussauds Wax Works which is on the gazillionth floor and I finally find it after wandering down many long, empty, deserted corridors - all painted blood red. I come to a massive empty space in the middle of the building which stretched upwards and downwards for what seemed miles. It was most surreal.

Across a great divide in front of me was a massive bank of glass elevators. Above and below was just an empty space. It reminded me of some futuristic film set. You know the scene in Star Wars where Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia are trying to escape the white armoured Imperial Stormtroopers in that vast empty structure with the loooong drop down? Well, sort of like that. Turns out I'd come across what I suspect was some obscure back entrance into the building. As the place was virtually deserted , I have a lot of fun "molesting" the helpless wax figures.

Next - There is no handsome prince at the Pearl Tower.

Great report! Too bad about the missing prince, though.

I love it!

Great stuff - and I don't even like Shanghai (aside from the Art Museum and the Bund, of course).

Great report.....I love Shanghai as well. Need to go back, as it's 3 months since I was there ..

Don't like the Oriental Pearl Tower though. Much better views from the Shanghai World Financial Center Building .

https://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2071176&id=1239983560&l=170f6fc2c6
https://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2074076&id=1239983560&l=45609989af
https://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2074093&id=1239983560&l=31260402b6

Thanks so much, Ekscrunchy, Femi,Thursdaysd and Gearsau ! I am flattered you are enjoying this as I have read all your excellent trip reports in the past and they are so good and much more useful that my reports as well. Same to you, Kathie and Hawaiiantraveller.

I am often reluctant to post as I stay in Hostels and rarely eat in restaurants so I can't really post anything of much value to fellow travelers. These writings are based on emails I send home to my family which I edit later. I do find that writing it up again kind of prolongs the holiday as it is like living it over again. Whether it is of any real benefit to anyone else is another matter!

Hi Gearsau. Due to illness, I didn't get to a lot of what I had planned. I had heard that the Shanghai World Financial Center Building was better so hope I get back and see it as well.

Just a question for you, Thursdaysd , if you have time.
I have been reading your most informative web pages and note that you get foot problems when traveling. I was born with a twisted foot which is not at all obvious now, but I do get very bad blisters and pain in my feet and hips which I think may be related. Can you give me some tips for lessening foot problems , if you have any?

There is No Handsome Prince at the Pearl Tower.

I decide today to go to the famous Oriental Pearl Tower....and save the handsome prince....and live happily ever after. Made that  last bit up, but the Pearl Tower does have a fairy tale sound, eh!

Despite the sign at the entrance saying you cannot enter if you are insane or improperly dressed, I go in anyway.

Up I go and find there is no handsome prince imprisoned in the tower but instead I find that it is ME trapped in this high up, heavenly labyrinth. It's quite easy to get up to the viewing platform but very,very hard to get back down again. I  wander around and around , buying more souvenirs than anyone really needs, before finally finding the lift down.

Many more people want to get down than came up. How can that  be? Have some been trapped up here since last night...or even longer? I only know it took a few minutes to get up in the crowded lift but about an hour to get down in the even more crowded lift.

At one stage they try to jam me into the small glass outside lift with a vast crowd. You couldn't fit a starving fashion model in much less a large woman with a backpack. I don't want Shanghai to see my face squashed against the glass as I descend so I decline and wait until the next lift.

But this only takes me to another viewing level which has a glass floor. I find myself surprisingly reluctant to step out onto the glass floor and I stare down at Shanghai so far below with some trepidation. It is so freaky! But I finally do so. I notice I am not the only one feeling unsure. There are a great many squealing teenage girls and even nervous gentleman, so I don't feel too bad.

I really enjoy the history museum in the tower's ground floor. It doesn't look much from the outside. There is no hint that inside there is another world, and a surprisingly large one at that. Why, in this respect, it is just like the Tardis! Old Shanghai comes alive. As alive as as dioramas can be, anyway. But it is very well done and a real treat to walk down the streets of Shanghai as it was.

I next decide to eat at the restaurant back at the Phoenix Hostel, where a fine meal with rice and a coke costs the princely sum of about $5 Au. I could have had Spicy Boiled Bullfrog, Drunken Fish - "Grandmother" style , Crucien sauted with "Old Dry Mother" , Fried Large Intestines or Bovine Paws. (I kid you not - Something got lost in translation there!) but I resist all these delicacies and have Spicy Pork, Shanghai style. Delicious and clears out your sinuses as well.

Only chopsticks are supplied and I think I am doing very well. I find that, as long as I can keep up the rhythm of the sticks in much the same way as a drummer might do, I can eat a meal with chopsticks as well as the next person, though far less stylishly.

But one of the waiters must think I am pathetic and brings me a spoon! I am mortified and go completely to the pack and can't pick up a piece of food for several minutes with either the chopsticks or the large porcelain soup spoon. But I rally and manage to finish my meal before slinking back to my room.

Talking about lost in translation, I have been watching a comedy show on TV here called “The Office. "  It bears a slight resemblance to “The Office” TV show back home with a boss who thinks he's really cool and several bumbling workers in a  advertising company. The main purpose of the show appears to be to teach English in a colloquial fashion to Chinese speakers. It is on several times a day.

The main character tells a joke, which he tells you beforehand is a joke in case you don't get it and don't laugh.

“ A Tomato and his vegetable friends go as contestants on a reality TV show. The tomato easily wins . The other vegetables are upset and complain.  The Judge tells them." Stop complaining...just look at yourselves. What can be more red than a tomato?”    End of Joke. 

Confucius says? Or maybe Confusion says. I have no idea what it means but guess it has something to do with Communism. But that may be reading far more into it that is meant... If anything is meant!

Rewriting all of this has made me think of why I like travel, even though it is rough on my health. Don't you find It's the little things that happen that add so greatly to the fabric of travel and, make it all worthwhile? Like every little stitch in a tapestry, it all adds up to something beautiful. Feeling very tired, sore and miserable , I stare blankly into some shop windows, one being a sport's trophy shop.


There, amongst the mini monuments to as yet unsung sports heroes, is a ginger cat, resplendent with an enormous red taffeta bow around his neck and lying on a red cushion. He is sound asleep but wakes, yawns, stretches and sits up and looks me in the eye.

Everything about his demeanor tells me he is the owner of this shop and very proud of his abilities in public relations. He is the one who attracts the customers and he knows it. It certainly works as, even though I don't buy anything, I return to the shop just to see that cat again.



I cause Shock and Horror...again.

As my foot is now infected and I am only walking due to strong pain killers , I decide to book a coach tour to a water village rather than find my own way The hostel finds me a tour that departs for Zhouzhuang Water Village the next day. I am warned it is all in Chinese but that does not bother me in the slightest. In fact, I think this may add greatly to the experience. I am sort of right!

On this bus tour of Chinese Day Trippers, I am taken under the wing of three Shanghai girls in their twenties, Tracy and her two delightful friends, who translate for me. It would be harder to meet more sweeter girls. I really needed their help and guidance.

Ever had everyone turn and stare at you with shock and horror? I did today when I photographed a Buddha figure at a temple. Apparently not the thing you do. I did look up "Things Not to Do in China Unless You Want People to Stare at You with Shock and  Horror" on the internet but must have missed that one. I must be more careful as I may not get another visa otherwise.

I should say though that the Buddha statue was outside the temple. I hope I would be more intuitive and sensitive to public feelings and not take photos inside a temple without knowing for sure that this was permissible.

The tour bus takes us to a jewelery factory and salesroom and I experience one of the most bizarre selling incidents ever. Ushered into a large room, our tour group is addressed by a pretty, plump girl in the most solemn terms, though of course, I understand nothing. Tracy whispers to me that this visit is organized to get some revenue from the tourist department or words to that effect. Another immaculately clad girl comes in and whispers something in a conspiratorial manner to the pretty,plump girl. She looks even more serious and resumes speaking as if she were delivering a life changing lecture or announcing the end of the world.

I ask Tracy what she is saying and she whispers that “The Boss is coming”. I am expecting something like a Triad Boss to appear and I eagerly await what I think will be someone from a Chinese gangster movie. This Boss is a smartly dressed , smiling , youthful looking man who begins with a joke , then looks very earnest. He alternates this format for the next 20 minutes.

The pretty,plump girl leaves looking rather put out to have her important speech interrupted. I may not understand what the Boss is saying but he has the air of an evangelical con man so I am not surprised when Tracy whispers that what he is saying sounds suspicious.

Waving his Ruby-ringed hand around, he works the room like the pro he so obviously is. Several times , the audience laughs but I am most intrigued by a man with a prosthetic leg, from our tour group, who has a cheeky grin. Periodically he interjects with lively banter and then chuckles loudly along with his mates. I ask Tracy what the man on crutches is saying and she says that he asking for his free gift.

As we go to the salesroom, Tracy tells me the Boss is saying that , after 16 years of marriage , his wife has had twin boys but one of them is very frail. So today, he doesn't want our money.... he just wants our prayers and good wishes for his ailing son.

The boss has promised a free gift if we just listen to his spiel. So everyone troops into the salesroom and listens. Two more beautifully groomed and seriously silent salesgirls watch on as the Boss holds up various pieces of jewelery. Sometimes at the Boss's request, they comment. Despite the offer of a free gift, most people drift out as the Boss raves on until Tracy and I are the only ones left.

I look at a sapphire ring. The Boss comes up to me and asks in very disjointed English where I am from. He repeats it back, pronouncing it “Otralia'. Words pass between him and the salesgirl which I don't understand. I don't really want the ring so I thank the Boss and depart. I ask Tracey to interpret what he had said about the ring and she smiles.

He had asked the girl how much the marked price on the ring was. She had quoted some astronomical price. He had then said to sell it it to me at such and such a price, naturally much lower than the ticketed price. She had feigned shock and said.”Oh no, Boss! That is way too cheap!” But the Boss had insisted that I get this “special” price. Apparently the other sales girls had said much the same when asked .

It was all very well choreographed but not one person had fallen for his pitch. I asked Tracy did she think he really had just had twins and she said smiles. “Well, I think that will be his story for the next few hours.” We all piled back into the bus.

No one, not even the cheeky man with the prosthetic leg, has a free gift.



We also visit another temple complex with some tatty but interesting models relating to filial piety, a silk factory and see many “lucky” lion animal statues. The lucky lions are all dutifully patted by most of the tour group. I remark on this and Tracy says how superstitious many Chinese are. Pointing to a table she says, rather seriously , that if you were to say that table was lucky, everyone would rush over and pat it. I smile inside and think she is quite right.

The Water Village is absolutely lovely though I think it is a shame that some of the canals are lined with market stalls but then, people have to make a living. But it is a beautiful experience. I treat my helpful companions to a meal of lung fish and rural chicken at a local restaurant the tour leader has chosen which costs a mere 120 to 130 yuan (I estimate the cost to be about $20 Au all up!) for the four of us. A gift from Tracy of a lovely embroidered picture of one of the stone bridges in the village completes a delightful day.


As an added bonus, I now have a connection with Hugh Jackman!  Based on the principal of "Six Degrees of Separation",  I think me and Hugh are really close. Tracy works at the luxury Peninsular hotel.  I asked her if she had many celebrities stay at her luxury hotel and apart from ho-hum types like Tony Blair, she mentions Hugh. I tell her about the ad showing in Oz where Hugh dances with the staff and two Asian girls in a hotel foyer. Tracey said that was her hotel where Hugh filmed the dance scenes in his latest advert!

ttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six_degrees_of_separation  Six degrees of separation (also referred to as the "Human Web") refers to the idea that everyone is on average approximately six steps away from any other person on Earth, so that a chain of, "a friend of a friend" statements can be made, on average, to connect any two people in six steps or fewer.


Next. I am educated by Chinese TV and educate a Chinese girl on Aussie “Bogans.”

One of the more interesting accounts of the routine forced shopping stops in China. I love that even the Chinese tourists are treated to these stops and that they are just as skeptical of the stories told by sales people!

>>>People who know me well, know that I am easily pleased. Singapore Airlines please me greatly and would regardless of my cheap personality. Most flights have cut out those little extras but Singapore Air has not. They offer me a newspaper and I am delighted. The hot towels fill me with joy. They give me a Givenchy pouch with a pair of thin socks and I am thrilled beyond reason. They serve a Drumstick ice cream and I am almost orgasmic!<<<



And man, does your trip report - and yes, Singapore Air thoughts - please me greatly!!! Nothing like flying with those Girls, business and pleasure.

Love your Shanghai reflections. That city is not (yet) on my current Asia business travel loop, so will vicariously savour your adventures.

Thanks again and may you have many more sweet and smooth (SQ) rides.

macintosh (robert)


... Singapore Girl, You're a Great Way to Fly ...

Re: feet... You have all my sympathy, and much kudos for carrying on!

I don't think I can be very helpful, alas. I would recommend my wonderful chiropractor, who does a great job on my feet, but that won't help you in Oz. But if you haven't tried chiropractic you might look for one who does feet - everything is indeed connected!

My chiropractor has convinced me to travel in over-the-ankle boots - if I'd been wearing them in Vancouver I probably wouldn't have sprained my ankle! I also use ortho inserts I got from her (I tend to pronate). Aside from that, boots/shoes/sandals and socks that fit really well and are well broken in are the only things I can think of. In your case I wonder if custom made boots would be the answer?

I do travel with a heavy duty ankle brace I bought years ago in Bangkok, and an Ace bandage (although the one I got in Japan this trip was much wider and gave better support). Also arnica gel and tablets. Plus I can do Reiki, but it's hard to do your own feet.

Note on socks - I used to wear Thorlo's but have developed an allergy to the Coolmax, so this trip I wore SmartWool socks and they did well. I wear Vasque boots - http://www.rei.com/product/726092 - although they don't grip as well as I would like on wet surfaces, but I'm very hard to fit. I do acquire a blister on occasion, and usually pop them as soon as they appear.

Hi Robert,
I see you are a real fan of Singapore Airlines and I understand why! Those charming men amd girls are so helpful and the girls wear what must easily be the prettiest uniforms in the sky!

Each take off and landing was as smooth as silk and , though I realise that does depend to some extent on external factors, I mentioned this to one of the girls and she even promisd to pass on my thoughts to the captain. I know flight attendants have a difficult job - anyone dealing with the public has problems , and I did appreciate their willingness to help.

I can easily say that this flight was the best I have ever been on. Probably the first flight where I arrived in a reasonable condition due to excellent leg room. I am tallish but not exceptionally so and I often wonder how a big man can possible fly in Economy with any degree of comfort when I am so cramped with my knees up against the seat in front of me.

I even wrote to them congratulating them on their excellent customer service when I got into a bit of bother over missing my flight home, (my fault entirely) and they replied quickly. They really saved my bacon!
Thanks for reading.
Kerry.

Hi Thursdaysd,

Thanks so much for taking the time to post such excellent advice. Sounds like you really know how tough it is to travel when you have a lot of foot pain! I am a great believer in Chiropractic treatment though I have not had any for some years. Maybe its time to get some treatment again.

I do wear boots as I sprain my ankle easily. As a young person who was forever spraining my ankle, I probably hopped more than I walked, but that's something I couldn't do now!

I will investigate further the arnica gel and ortho inserts and your other suggestions. I usually have very swollen feet when flying, possible due to being cramped on most other flights as well as flights from Australia being so long. But, as this flight was so much more comfortable, they hardly swelled at all.

Plus the last long trip I took , I broke my foot in three places only 6 weeks previously. So I got a bit complacent thinking I would have no problems this time and realize now I should have bandaged my feet straight off instead of leaving it until it was too late.

Thanks again,

Kerry.

Kerry,
You sound like you are having a great time. Next time I go back, I plan to spend a lot more time in Shanghai to see things I never got around to see when I went there on business.
Here is an older photo album, and some more shots taken from the Shanghai World Financial Center Building top observation deck.( SWFC)
The Pearl Tower top platform is 350 meters up, whereas,the SWFC is 474 meters up. Its much better to get there as well. The Pearl Tower is a real pain,and,as you have discovered, getting down takes ages..

https://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2036646&id=1239983560&l=65cae33184

Kerry. I too have foot problems on the long flights from Australia, and all the sight seeing afterwards. I have a pair of medical knee length stockings, for during the flight.They were expensive, but are now 10 years old and still going strong - the only time they are worn. One time in Bangkok, I twisted my ankle, but kept the stocking on day and night, resting for a day or two, and then it was fine. I also have made to measure inserts, but I find a comfy, well-tried pair of sneakers to be just as good. I always carry bandaids for blisters. We do walk miles and miles.

Your report is a joy to read. Funny, whimsical and written with insight. Thank you! We had five days in Shanghai in July and loved it too, although it was extremely hot and tiring. Two days at Expo, crowds of people everywhere. But we had a super hotel room - Seagull on the Bund - and could retreat to our room and watch the people strolling on the Bund and the barges and ships on the River, one every twenty to thirty seconds, which was marvellous. I want to go back even more after reading your report!

Kerry - A wonderfully, entertaining report - I've never been to Shanghai but you make it sound quite inviting...
Concerning foot issues, I wear compression (to the knee) stockings when I am on long flights and my feet don't seem to swell - it's best if you have them fitted professionally rather than just buying them off a rack....

Hello Gearsau,

What excellent photos! I come from a family where some have been professional photographers, but I am hopeless! The only two decent photos I have ever taken are hanging in the toilet, so even they aren't that great!

I really love the “atmospheric” Buildings in the Clouds and the Red Lanterns. Reminds me of one of my favorite Chinese movie,”Raise the Red Lanterns.”

Can you give me some details? Camera used , settings, time of day or whatever?


Hey Carabella,

Thanks so much!

I will look into made to measure inserts and medical knee length stockings. I well realize I was complacent as my health was improved when I left and I just thought I would be OK this time. But you are so right to be prepared for anything!


Hi Mara .

Thank you too!

I do hope you get to see Shanghai.

I think you are right about the getting these compression stockings professionally fitted , as the off the rack kind don't seem as good.



Thanks all, for your comments on foot help and your observances regarding Shanghai as it makes me want to go back too(though better prepared) and I only just got home!

Kerry,

Camera used are NIKON D3 and D2Xs. Lots of $$$ .
Those shots of the tall buildings in the clouds. Well, I was in Shanghai in March 2010, and took some shots at night, and the others when it was its usual rainy, cloudy day there. Of course, it does get fine as well,just that everytime I go there, it rains. I was in Shanghai March, 2010, and January 2011. Have been going to Shanghai on and off since 2000. The place is amazing for all the changes.
Lots of $$$ spent ..

All the best from Nerang, Qld.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30948263&l=904ad356b6&id=1239983560
https://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2038924&id=1239983560&l=a4420843ab

Thanks Gearsau.

Love the MotoGP bike shots! Are you a professional photographer?

Seeing your pix make me want to have another spin! My neighbour is an old friend from my biker days and has offered me a lend of his bike. Might take him up on that! No way I could fit in my leathers now though.

I briefly went to TAFE to become a motorcycle mechanic and hoped to specialise in race tuning. At the time there was a young racer whose mother was his mechanic. However I was hopeless. I could do it in theory but not in practice. It would have been so much better the other way around!

I used to go to the races in my younger days. The highlights were meeting Mike Hailwood and Eric Debenham. My main interest is vintage bikes as I used to own a Vincent Black Shadow in a Norton Wideline featherbed frame of the type which Eric used to race. I have a book on Vincents personally signed by Phillip Vincent which is a treasured item.

I also got to go to Laverton to see Giacomo Agostini. He got beaten and I am never sure how hard he tried but it was quite a day. Somewhere I have photos, including my husband shaking Mike Hailwood's hand. Pre digital, so they could be anywhere.

Thanks so much for sharing your photos. Bought back a lot of good memories.

Kerry,
Im not a professional photographer. Just spend lots of money on it.
I have followed bikes since 1982 and still have my 1984 HONDA VF1000R.

Some photos from some of my recent travels in China and Cambodia.
https://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2071551&id=1239983560&l=0168ea6915
https://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2074165&id=1239983560&l=d878091797
https://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2075684&id=1239983560&l=e4387885dc
https://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2074880&id=1239983560&l=84b6dd5b94
https://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2074334&id=1239983560&l=cbd6576798
https://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2061881&id=1239983560&l=2f15e91f03

Kerry: From bovine paws and lung fish to an evangelical spiel and Hugh Jackman. You are a total scream! Who would have thought that taking the Chinese-language tour would be such a blast..I will remember that tip!


I quite liked the sign at the entrance to Oriental Pearl Tower admonishing, among other things:

"No admittance for anyone who is drunk, insane, and not properly dressed."
"Prohibit carrying animals and the articles which disturb common sanitation including unusual smell."

And under no circumstances should you bring your "fruit knife, sword, or tinder and exploder" onto the premises.

Great work, and fabulous photos!

Hi ekscrunchy .

Thank you so much.That Pearl Tower sign covers everything,eh!

I wonder how anyone can travel without a sense of humor and still have a good time. They miss out on so much when they concentrate on the things that go wrong, which is inevitable. I admit that, on this trip where a lot didn't go as expected , looking back on those humorous incidents makes me see that I had a much more fantastic time than I may have initially thought!

I have some other hilarious signs that, by themselves, were worth traveling all the way to China for! I will include them in my next section when I get time to finish it. There is a whole web site for Chinglish that is will have you in stitches.

Alas, the wonderful photos are gearsau's and not mine. I can only dream of having photos of that standard though that will not stop me boring my family and friends with my dull offerings as soon as I sort them out.

Next. I am educated by Chinese TV and educate a Chinese girl on Aussie “Bogans.”


I can barely walk today so I totter down to the bank and have no trouble using the ATM. On a practical note, I should have got less money at Sydney airport and more from the Shanghai ATMs as the rate seemed so much better.

So cashed up, I buy lots of chocolate and cup noodles as I doubt I will be able to go out tomorrow. So here I sit on the bed, watching infomercials and eating chocolate for Dinner. Not much different from home really.

I watch "Stuart Little" in Chinese which is one of those movies where language is irrelevant to enjoying the plot. I assume this is rather like the universal language of cartoons or pornography. I don't watch porn but did like that French speaking Bugs Bunny in Paris.

I then watch Chinese infomercials. I am not sure what they are selling on Chinese TV ... but I like it! One ad shows people exhibiting all the classic symptoms of depression; Overeating, heavy drinking and banging ones' head against the wall. Moments later they are smiling and exercising. They appear to be injecting something into their stomachs ... Whatever ... I want it .... Now.

The same for those girdles that make you look so slim. They have them in Oz but the effects of the Chinese girdle is far more dramatic, and the girdle looks more glamorous too! So even though I am confined to my hotel room, I am not at all bored.

TV here is naturally, mostly in Chinese, but there are some English programs which is good but the one show that is on frequently in English is "Australian Princess" which is bad.

What must the Chinese think of Aussie women! I shudder to think! My question on this is answered...horribly. My young Chinese friend, Tracy, emails me and I have reproduced it here.

"You know I was watching " Australian Princess " show on International Channel of Shanghai this afternoon. It's interesting coz it show the really personality of these candidates. And I can learn something about Australian and GB cultural.(sic) "

I educate her on Bogans, but gently, and think .
"Theres someone Australia may have lost as a potential tourist! "

Next- Amongst the sights , a charity I can relate to.


The Urban Planning Center

If you want to really appreciate the scale of the city, visit the Urban Planning Center. The display on the first floor underwhelms me at first but make sure you go to the large top display to really appreciate this amazing city. This model shows how huge and sprawling Shanghai is.

Anyone even remotely interested in architecture must visit Shanghai and also this center. Of course the Bund is on every architectural enthusiasts' list and should be seen both by day and by night.

You turn one way...all gleaming, sky piercing modernity...the other way, all older style, frequently Art Deco. Its a win-win situation!


Yu Gardens

It was a rainy weekend and I had just come from the Planning Center where the photos of Yu Gardens alone are enough to convince me to visit.

Nestled in amongst more shops than you can poke a stick at are the Yu Gardens and I wondered how many people would be tramping over the flower beds inside this walled gem. I nearly chickened out because the entrance to this enchanting oasis is over a narrow zigzag bridge crammed with my fellow humans. I think to myself .

"When was this designed? The Ming Dynasty? You think they would have made this bridge wider! "

Of course, it was designed in the Ming Dynasty. So, taking refuge behind a huge 6'6" Frenchman who I use surreptitiously as a kind of bulwark, I somehow make it to the entrance and am delighted to find that most people want to shop, not go to gardens.

The garden could well be the Chinese version of the secret garden or the enchanted garden. Little cave-like tunnels tantalize with promise of even more beauty unveiled. Its glorious maze-like format just lures you around every corner with its delightful vistas glimpsed through beckoning doorways. And to think I nearly gave this a miss!



Like the gardens, so many sights in Shanghai have a mysterious quality to them.

What was with the hundred or so middle aged folks in the Peoples Square sitting on the low walled garden beds, all with printed A4 signs in Chinese, propped up in front of them? Were they for sale as some kind of unusual slave market or a chance to buy your own granny or grandpa based on their neatly printed credentials? I asked Tracy and she didn't have a clue either. Certainly, the place was packed with people perusing the "produce" but I perceived no purchases. (Hows that for alliteration!) Maybe I could have scored a bargain Granny!

Or there was the man flying a kite that was so far away, I just couldn't see anything. I looked and looked and it appeared he was holding onto a string that went to nothing. I wondered if it was some kind of conjuring trick until I finally picked up a tiny , tiny speck in the sky. I began to think it might eventually reach space or be a of great interest to commercial airline passengers as they flew over!

And all that hawking and spitting! The first thing I heard when I booked into my hotel and opened the window was the incessant sound of hawking...more hawking than a medieval reenactment, I thought and laughed aloud. Despite this, the streets seem very clean as , if every man is a policeman, then every woman is a cleaner and they do a pretty fine job too!


Those mysterious and hilarious signs are well worth noting. The Pearl Tower one as posted by ekscrunchy is wonderful.

I am amused by the popular bakery chain whose motto is "The Happy Space of Baking", or the Manicure Salon called "Shine your Hands". Yeah, why stop at your nails!

Directions to the toilets at the Bund are " Please walk downstairs and go backwards". Ok? You want me to walk backwards down the stairs, right?


Or this one at a Oriental Pearl Tower gift shop. "Designated Units for Foreign Affair Gifts."

That one sounded like some sort of a Stalinist/dictatorish effort to be romantic.

"So, you are having a foreign affair. You have permission to buy your loved one a gift but only at the "Designated Units for Foreign Affair Gifts" shop that has government approval. Do not, and I repeat, do not shop at any unauthorized outlet. Disobey and the consequences will be dire."

Signed,
Big Brother.


But my personal favorite was the sign on the charity box at the airport.

"The Foundation for Assisting the Difficult".

At last! A charity I can really relate to.


Naturally, I donated.



It is at the Airport that my difficulties begin. I have hesitated to make this public as it was so stupid that even I am amazed. I misread the time of departure and arrived at 1pm instead of 1am. Why couldn't I have arrived 12 hours early instead of 12 hours late! Darn that airline / military time!

I can't even begin to understand why this happened as I had booked this ticket months in advance, looked up the flights on the web site regularly, checked in on-line and am aware of airline time. I can only think I had some kind of a mental block as here in Sydney, there is a curfew on flights between 11pm and 6am. So anyone out there who makes some stupid, basic mistake when travelling can remember this and not feel so bad.

About to crack up and cry like a baby, I approached the Singapore Airlines desk and explained my stupidity. The guy didn't say much. He just handed me a phone number and said ever so gently.

"It will be OK" and I believed him. I think I might love that man too.

As the airport rang with the song "Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Its Off to Work We Go" over and over again with relentless and brain washing cheeriness, I begin to calm down and ring Singapore Airlines and they get me on a flight just a few hours later. It cost me an extra $400 which was understandable under the circumstances and I was very grateful for their help.The flight was nearly full so I was fortunate. I was by this stage, getting sick again, but it was still a wonderful flight . Again from Singapore to Sydney, I had a whole row to myself.


Mind you, had I got it right I would not have gone to the Peninsular Hotel with Tracy the night before and wandered amongst the Gucci, Ralph Lauren and Chanel shops.

Its not often I get ushered into a flash hotel by a doorman bowing and calling me "Madam". I was meeting Tracy at Chanel so it was great to be able to ask where the Chanel shop was like I was going to buy something!

If only Hugh Jackman had been there instead of just some whingy tourists, it would have been well worth 400 extra dollars!

Wonderful report! I am enjoying following along.

Love the signs - especially the charity for "assisting the difficult" - we thank you for your donation!

Wonderful report! Heading to Shanghai soon and hope to see as much as you did, especially the Urban Planning Center. Is it near the Bund?

Appreciate your comments m_bran and HappyTrvir. Nice of you to take the time to read this rather long post.

I would so love to find out more about that charity, m_bran! Can anyone "difficult" be assisted financially? How "difficult" do you have to be - just mildly annoying or full blown hard to handle? Do your friends and family classify you or do you have to have government assessment? How many people at a family reunion qualify for assistance? Most of them or just that crazy aunt with too many cats and too many opinions? The questions are endless.

HappyTrvir. Bon Voyage!

The Planning Center is at Peoples' Square, so right in the middle of downtown. The building itself is quite fabulous and hard to miss. It is within walking distance of The Bund but, if I recall, it is a long walk , maybe an hour if you stroll.

You will see the large elevated road ,The North South, I believe, and you just follow it on the road underneath. A bonus is that the wonderfully creepy Natural History Museum is on the way. Go past the Subway fast food with the helpful manager, then past the Trophy shop with the cat in the red bow and the chemist shop and there is the Museum. All are on the left hand side. A little further on is the Bund.

The Metro is very easy to use but you can't beat taxis. Most trips cost under $2 US ! Just make sure you have your destination written in Chinese.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shanghai_Urban_Planning_Exhibition_Hall

A good photo and info plus the name in Chinese. I found a lot of Wikipedia articles include the name in Chinese characters and pinyin.

http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=map+shanghai&qpvt=map+shanghai&FORM=IGRE
Good resource for Shanghai maps.

YOu are a scream! I could not agree more about the sense of humor when traveling. Or when lounging around in the house!

Speaking of signs, this is a favorite set in a Chinese mall food court close to home:


http://ny.eater.com/archives/2008/10/the_designated_vomiting_area_of_the_flushing_mall_food_court.php

..and as an example of LACK of sense of humor, scroll down to the comments on the link I posted above until you get to the sad tale of the scarred-for-life boyfriend.

Escrunchy...Thanks for that link. So funny , even when eating breakfast! I also laughed at this one below.Not sure how legit it is but it's a nice touch of hilarious vitriol.

"no, you dont understand. we chinese mean tom spit, not throw away our meal through our mouths!! you dumb ass americans are just mad because we own your sorry fat asses!! so, you go vomit on your grandmother, me no happy you don't understand this.
i vomit on you!!!"

I am not sure you would find it quite so funny if you're are American though I think they might own our sorry Oz asses too!

I do wonder if Chinese men are somewhat afflicted with Catarrh. Maybe some enterprising American can start a nationwide Chinese marketing scheme to sell them catarrh cures. Must be a HUGE market out there. Then the U.S. can own their sorry fat asses when a massive fortune has been made out of Chinese spit!

So very sorry for scarred boyfriend.The poor love.

We too enjoyed the Urban Planning Center. I had saved the Museum for the last morning, but the lines to get in were really long and it was already very hot, so we went to Urban Planning instead. No queue, no wait, and utterly absorbing, as well as nice and cool. The building is in Peoples' Square, back towards the main shopping street from the Museum.

Kerry, you certainly are not alone with your airline problems. We've done it not once, but twice, though a day early instead of late. So we've had an extra day in Iguacu Falls, and one in San Francisco. Much better to be early ! Glad it worked out not too expensive for you.

Thaks Carrabella! I feel better knowing I am not the only one but at least you got it wrong the right way!

I consider myself a pretty savvy traveler but recently I almost ended up in Guadalajara instead of Guatemala. I can offer no explanation except that it was 1AM. Even the gate agent missed the fact that I was on the wrong flight. It only became apparent when they scanned the stubs from the boarding passes. I felt like such an idiot when they had to retrieve me from the plane and send me to the gate next door. A humbling experience, probably sorely needed LOL!

Oh, your airline story reminded me of my own lapse years ago when I was traveling a lot. I often connected in Chicago, and i had a habit of just looking at destinations, not at the flight numbers... Of course, there were two flights to Seattle just minutes apart. I was boarded and relaxing in my first class seat when the gate agent informed me that I was on the wrong Seattle flight. The flight I was booked on was on another concourse, of course. It was one of those cross-airport runs in heels...

Anyway, I'm loving your report!

Hi Kathie and Femi.

You both reassure me no end. I was just thinking that I shouldn't even leave the house anymore but I have reconsidered and will now travel to Melbourne to see the King Tut exhibition in June.I should be able to manage a domestic trip!

On a side point,Kathie, I see that you have contacted Gpanda and I do hope he is able to be well enough to write soon as I look forward to reading his posts again.Even if he cannot travel presently I am sure his insights would be invaluable.

Love your beautiful cat picture as well! He so reminds me of a friend's cat that I would love to own myself - if my own Ginger Boys wouldn't object!

And Femi, Both places sound wonderful to visit. I have friends here in Australia from Guatemala and they have told me that Australians have no idea where that is and think they come from Wattamolla near Sydney!

Wattamolla- LOL! Guatemala turned out to be my favorite destination Latin America.

I saw the King Tut exhibit a few years ago when it was in Los Angeles. Quite impressive.