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Packing lightly...for a 3 month trip...in Winter?!

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Hello!

I will be traveling to Tokyo from September to December. I will mostly be on campus, commuting via train and urban walks, and coming home to a home-stay family. I did a trial pack last night and could not fit everything in my bag! By a long shot!

Can I have your advice?
1. Average temperatures will range from 80F with high humidity and rain to a cold 40F (though snow flurries are unlikely).

2. Japanese students DRESS UP. Plus, I'm a grad student so things are more professionalized than a tourist experience. On the other end, I'm unsure what kind of "house clothes" I can wear at a home-stay.

3. Since I'm at a homestay and Japanese people do not use resources with the same abandon as Americans, I am doubtful I can wash my clothes too frequently. I'm self conscious about being judged as a sloppy, dirty foreigner haha. Foreigners already stand out a LOT and are judged a LOT (even if with a smile).

tl;dr: I am struggling on how to pack lightly for a broad range of weather conditions and formality levels over a semi-long period. In this circumstance, I will need to look clean and more put together than your average tourist but I might not have easy access to a washing machine.

I was reading this long thread but it is for such a short trip compared to mine:
http://www.fodors.com/community/europe/packing-for-dummies--how-do-i-pack-light-in-winter.cfm

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