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Trip Report Dogster: Death on the Ganges

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This shouldn’t be read as a review, more reportage. It’s as factual or as fictional as you care to make it. This is a partial record of what happened on one disastrous cruise to a blithely unsuspecting group of perfectly nice people. For the bits I missed I’ll refer to a blog written on the company website by the Operations Manager for the parent company, also traveling on the ship.

Sharp-eyed readers will note that I manage to get from beginning to end without mentioning the name of the ship or the company. This isn’t revenge writing. This was a once-in-a-lifetime set of circumstances that, please God, will never happen again, to you or anybody else – and most certainly not to me. I’ll not do this cruise again.

There were multiple lessons for the old mongrel on this cruise; the first and most important of which was: never take a freebie. It was offered, he took it - no strings attached. The how and the why doesn’t matter right now. For the purposes of book-keeping, while on the boat he was ‘a journalist’. He wasn’t of course, but everybody could understand that concept.

The freebie only covered the cruise: Dogster paid for everything off the boat; pre and post-cruise accommodation, shore excursions, meals and internal flights. By the time it all panned out, the trip ended up costing him about 50% of what it cost the full-fare paying punters.

So here’s 50% of a trip report.

My fellow passengers were wonderful, cultured, charming human beings. The clients I describe are pure fiction - any resemblance in this report to anybody who has ever sailed up the Ganges, alive or nearly dead, is purely accidental, co-incidental and the by-product of a diseased mind.

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