minimeike

I will be flying alone with my two year old daughter from Germany to Los Angeles (via Atlanta) later this month. I am already having nightmares about this as she is a very active two year old who is also strong willed (=lots and lots of tantrums lately)...she also is not one to sit still for any period of time.
So...I am starting to panic!!!

Do you have any suggestions for me in terms of how to keep her entertained and decently happy for 10+ hours on an airplane? Any help would be much appreciated!! I know that she will probably throw a fit at some point, the thought of annoying all the other passengers on board scares me....but there is no way around this,is there?

Has anyone ever done anything similar? Flown alone long distance with a toddler?

eliztravels2

My daughter made a trip from Perth to YYZ--about 30 hours not counting time to and from airports--when her son was not quite 2. Had some medication for him but didn't try it out ahead of time--big mistake. He had a paradoxical reaction, which apparently is not that uncommon, and was hyper instead of sedated on the red eye from Perth to Sydney; didn't fall asleep until 4. a.m.

Next time she made the trip it was with her son now 4 and daughter, not quite 2. That trip she had meds she had tried in advance and it went much better. Put the kids in p.j. s before getting on the plane and they zonked out pretty quick . Lesson learned.

I think other passengers are much less likely to become annoyed if you are obviously making an effort to keep your child under control. Our daughter has had some good experiences with fellow passengers: entertaining the kids while she went to the washroom on the plane and buying her lunch during a layover when her debit card wouldn’t work and she had no local currency. Also one time when she had to make a connection in a big airport and was at her wits end (pregnant and with the afore mentioned hyper toddler in tow) she went to the priority line in tears and was treated with consideration.

I have some sympathy, but not a lot, for travellers who complain about kids on planes. We all have our own reasons for travelling and those who think their needs are more important than others need an attitude adjustment. We all have an obligation to be considerate of those around us, but in any long distance travel must accept that inconveniences of many kinds will occur and as long as they are not deliberately imposed, we should be tolerant.

I hope you get some practical advice here. No matter what, it is unlikely that your trip will be a worst case scenario, and even if it is, you will survive, and hopefully find it well worth doing anyway.

1965

I agree with eliztravels. Most travelers are patient, sympathetic, and even helpful when they can see the parent is obviously doing his/her best with the little one.

janisj

Talk to your pediatrician about any possible medications or OTC - some help, some don't as eliztravels2 says. If the doctor does suggest somthing, be sure to try it out first.

I agree w, most everything posted above. Did you book a seat for daughter? I sure hope so. Starting out in pajamas will help a lot.

Good luck

Seamus

The medication eliztravels2 mentioned is most likely the antihistamine diphenhydramine (brand name Benadryl and others, also included as an ingredient in combination products) which is notorious for that paradoxical reaction, especially in children. For most people it has a sedative effect but in a small number it has the opposite effect and causes excitation.

No way to tell in advance how the child will react other than a trial dose. It is a pretty safe drug that is widely used but a long flight is not the place to discover that a child reacts paradoxically, especially one who is "strong willed!" Strongly suggest you check with your pediatrician ASAP to discuss this. If your daughter does OK with taking this it can make all the difference in the world for you (and your fellow passengers!) Dosage for kids is based on weight, and for a two year old the liquid / syrup preparation is probably easiest.

Kathie

Lots of good advice here. Take along a number of small items for your daughter to play with, Wrapping them helps. Dole them out, maybe one every other hour or so. Think of things that will occupy her quietly - no nosie-making toys. She may enjoy watching cartoons on the airplane's entertainment system or playing simple games on an iphone or ipad. Have headphones for her to use with the phone or ipad.

Spend some time preparing her for the trip. Talk about things like going through security, how important it is for her to be seated with her seatbelt fastened, etc., so she will know what to expect. It occurs to me that watching an airline safety video might be useful - maybe the hilarious Jet Blue one.

gail

Forget everything you normally do as a parent to avoid "spoiling" your child. This is the time to break out rewards and treats - as Kathie mentioned little wrapped items thruout the trip. Also little food treats. Our kids were so amazed to be allowed to have a can of orange soda at 8 AM o a flight they behaved for an hour.

Bring real food - enough so if whatever airline food is offered is not acceptable to her or you can't get food during a connection, she will be OK. Also a couple of changes of clothing in a carryon.

As far as behavior, try to time her sleep/wake cycles so that she might sleep during flight time when other passengers are also asleep. Agree that if you are making an effort, other passengers are more forgiving. When all else fails (like she won't get into her seat during takeoff), ask the flight attendant to speak to her - most kids listen to people they perceive as authority figures, even when ignoring their parents.

As much as I detest them, consider getting one of those kid leashes - the kind that velcros on her wrist. When flying with our son alone, I found he would use it if I was the one on the leash - that is he velcroes it on to me and he got to hold the "leash" end. I ignored the looks I got from others with a 3 year old leading me thru the airport, but juggling luggage and paperwork, at least I knew where he was.

Carryon everything you need, but check as much as possible. Keeping track of your child is easier that way.

Electronic gadgets are helpful. I might wait to bring them out on the ATL-LAX part of the trip though, since she probably will do OK on the overseas part but when you have to re-plane her for another long trip, that is when meltdown might happen.

You may be surprised. Although you will be exhausted at the end, having 100% of a parent's attention for that length of time is rare - so better behavior sometimes happens.

pavot

When I took my 2-year-old on his first overseas flight, I brought along a dozen or so sets of earplugs and handed them out to anyone nearby who wanted them saying, "This is my son's first overnight flight, and I'm not sure how it's going to go, but I'll do everything I can to keep him happy." That seemed to buy a little bit of goodwill from the other passengers.

lavandula

If you click on my screen name you will find a trip report on travelling with a toddler by plane. It's one of the earlier TRs. I have a few tips about good toys to take with you and what to expect. Night flights can be good because kids are naturally zonked out. If you decide to medicate, test it out early. My husband's family all have adverse reactions (hyperactivity) with Benadryl so we never tried.

Favourite foods are a good suggestion. Children's meals provided by the airline vary wildly and are sometimes not as good as the adult meal. However, food is a good way of passing the time. Threading breakfast cereal (the kind with holes in it) onto a pipe cleaner is good for fine motor skills, makes a great bracelet and is eminently edible! Stickers are also excellent; play dough is a bad idea because it gets ground into the carpet and seats (flight attendants hate it).

An iPad loaded with games and stories can be handy. Many e-books have automatic reading to buy you a little peace, and you can adjust the sound so that it won't bother anyone. Also, make sure you let your little one get the ants out of her pants at the airport before boarding. Endlessly walking up and down the moving footways was fascinating for our daughter at first, but ultimately put her to sleep on our shoulders (yay!).

Some airlines have a 'sky nanny' or flight attendant appointed to help families. Look out for airlines with a good reputation with families, as some are better than others. Just googling their website will give you a good idea of their approach. Also prepare your daughter with a lot of gentle discussion about what she should expect (including not kicking seats AND that it's going to be really exciting and fun to sleep on the plane), if she's never done planes before. There are DVDs available on the internet to prepare kids, and also books. We had 'Going on a Plane', which was an Usborne book, and also Byron Barton's 'Airport'. The former is definitely a better book.

Good luck - rely on the kindness of strangers and flight attendants and I am sure you will be OK!

Lavandula

MissGreen

I had a little one near me on a recent 5 hour flight. She had her own DVD player and her dad was next to her and she didn't make a sound. She watched Dora the Explorer the whole way and never made a sound.

I'm like others. As long as a parent is trying I don't mind if their child is crying, noisy etc. It's parents that think little Johnny is adorable when he runs up and down the aisle hitting passengers and do nothing to stop him that bothers everyone.

You'll be fine.

suze

Bring plenty of favorite food and snacks, bring favorite toys and games, bring her own DVD, comfy clothes and favorite pillow and blanket.

I'm not a Mom and know this sounds obvious, but I've been amazed how many parents fly with little children with no preparation at all! (where I was offering to share my snacks because the kid had no food!)

I agree most passengers will be sympathetic to you and your daughter. The only time I am ever annoyed is when the parent ignores their kid, trying to pretend they aren't throwing a fit or whatever. That's annoying. Kids crying, not so much.

gail

I just took a 4 hour flight last evening. Within 4 rows of me were 2 family groups acting very differently. Family #1 - across the aisle. Mother, infant and 2 year old. 2-year old slept most of the flight and played with JetBlue TV, but also wanted to walk, talk to other passengers, etc.. Mother entertained infant, fed him while giving 2-year old attention. When he whined, she asked him to be quiet. Infant shrieked a bit - but Mom attended to both of the needs of her kids and when infant shrieked, woman next to me took him for a while to give Mom a break.

Family #2 - Mom, Dad, kids about same age as above. Older kid yelled, kicked seat, said "hey - I want soda" to flight attendant repeatedly. Dad slept. Mom ignored bratty 2 year old. Infant was rocked periodically, but mostly ignored. Evil looks from all around to this family.

Frances

I agree with all of this . Its years since I flew with my own children and I wish I'd read the tip about having a leash in your child's hands!I also appreciate that its very easy to be sanctimonious when you come across a child who is disruptive .
However I will remember for ever ( as will half the plane ) a trip from Singapore to Manchester- which departs about midnight. When I was in the ladies before boarding I could hear a child kicking off and had an uncomfortable feeling that this child would be sitting near me. I was right. He was 3 years of age and had a 6 year old sister. They had already flown from Australia with Mum and Dad.( A trip they had made more than once) The children were completely ignored and left to their own devices for the whole flight(14 hours) with Mum turning to me at one stage and saying "what can you do?" . I asked her for a book and took the lad on my lap and read to him. He was completely happy and engrossed in it.He calmed down and seemed to enjoy just having my attention.
His sister was left to curl up in her seat and told not to complain when she wanted attention.
Apart from sleeping the parents watched films all the way.
At the end of the fight I told the mother the answer to her question above. This included preparation, lots of things to involve the children and that they wanted their parents attention.

sfmaster

When I traveled with my kids this age we "got ready for bed" jammies, teeth brushing, washed face with little wipe, had lovies. Then went to sleep. Then had other times where we got up.

Lots of electronic, and non electronic....

I find little hand games, songs work wonders to focus and calm kids. This little piggy and others. Little songs, books. My kids are really amazing traveling because they love having me close, they love the adventure. Saying hi to everyone. If you have this attitude that you are so happy to be on this wonderful adventure with your child and you are going to help him when he needs help they can relax.

I also made sure to dress my kids to look cute! It helps!

When traveling with multiple kids I have handed my kids to strangers when necessary. I have found a mom with older children and said - please could you hold my baby while I take my two year old to the bathroom! You'll probably be fine with just the one.

My 15 month old once cried in biz class for most of the way to Italy. So it has not always been golden.... I took her to the bathroom to try to get her out of ear shot and calm her down.

It was horrible. But now she's a fantastic traveler. It's all just about starting the process.

Good luck!